P. Kitty’s White Chocolate Coconut Shortbreads

. . .

Dear People Who Don’t Like Swearing,

You probably shouldn’t read this post.

Sincerely,

movita beaucoup

.

Back in November, when I was visiting with Pussycat, she told me about her idea for some super awesome shortbreads. As we were baking them, she proclaimed, “this is some next level pioneer shit.” And that became our working title for the shortbreads. Next Level Pioneer Shit Shortbreads. But then I was all, “I think most of my readers are elderly… and I’m not sure how festive the word shit is.” So we changed the name to P.Kitty’s White Chocolate Coconut Shortbreads. (Of course, now that I’ve written the word shit three four times, I’m thinking we could have left the name as it was.)

Let me tell you about these little shortbreads. These sweet, tasty shortbreads with coconut and cornflakes that become inexplicably crispy-chewy. We started with a Martha Stewart base. A good basic shortbread. And then we went all pioneer on its ass. That’s assuming pioneers were into white chocolate and cornflakes.

We toasted some coconut.

Chopped up some white chocolate.

Mixed in some crushed cornflakes.

And then baked ourselves some next level pioneer shortbreads.

You’re probably going to want to make these. And you’re going to want to cut them into smallish pieces. Because they are filling – a small square is just right. You’re going to have a 9×13 pan of awesomeness. A pan of awesomeness that could make your mother forget to tell you that she thinks your pants are ill-fitting when you arrive home on Christmas Eve. A pan of shortbreads that might make your mother-in-law think you can actually feed your family without her assistance/constructive criticism. A pan of sweet delights that might stop your great aunt from sighing loudly when you tell her you’re still single. (Can you feel me working up to a feverish finale?)  A PAN OF NEXT LEVEL SHIT THAT WILL MAKE YOUR FAMILY STOP ACTING LIKE TURDS DURING THIS FESTIVE SEASON AND ACT MORE LIKE THE ONE FROM YOUR FAVOURITE HOLIDAY MOVIE.

I’m lying. You really should get better fitting pants.

So. Go make some shortbreads.

(Sorry about the swearing.)

. . .

White Chocolate Coconut Shortbreads – inspired by Bobbie Marchand and Martha Stewart – print and take your shortbreads to the next level

Makes 35+ shortbread squares.

  • 2/3 cup shredded, unsweetened coconut
  • 1 1/3 cups finely chopped white chocolate or white chocolate chips
  • 2/3 cup finely crushed cornflakes
  • 1 1/3 cups (2 sticks plus 6 tablespoons) unsalted butter, room temperature
  • 2/3 cup sugar
  • 3/4 teaspoon salt
  • 3/4 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
  • 3 1/3 cups all-purpose flour

Begin by toasting the coconut: toast the coconut in a dry skillet over medium heat, stirring often, until golden. (Take your time, coconut burns easily.) Allow the coconut to cool completely.

Combine the coconut, white chocolate and cornflakes in a bowl and set aside.

Preheat oven to 275°F. Grease a 9×13 baking pan, and line the bottom with parchment paper.

In the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the paddle attachment, cream the butter and sugar on medium speed until light and fluffy (about 2 minutes). Add the salt and vanilla, and beat to combine. Add the flour, 1 cup at a time (the first addition will be 1 1/3 cup, followed by two 1 cup additions), beating on low speed until just combined.

Stir the coconut mixture into the shortbread dough – I use my hands to get the ingredients incorporated.

Press dough into your prepared pan, leveling and smoothing the top. Prick the top of the shortbread with the tines of a fork, randomly or in a pattern.

Bake shortbread until evenly pale golden, but not browned, 50-60 minutes (the original recipe has a baking time of 70-85 minutes, we found it doesn’t take nearly that long).

Transfer pan to a wire rack to cool. Cut into squares while still warm from the oven – 5 or 6 rows in each direction, more or less if you like. Allow to cool completely before serving. Store in an airtight container for up to 1 month.


15 Responses to P. Kitty’s White Chocolate Coconut Shortbreads

  1. Eggton December 16, 2011 at 10:41 pm #

    I love this post. I read it out loud during dinner, which was very confusing to some people, because we are eating Indian food.

    Every time I read your posts and start feeling like you’re just next door, you go and drop a “u” into words like “favorite.” Breaks my heart.

    • movita beaucoup December 17, 2011 at 7:15 am #

      Maybe you should have read the post in Hindi.

      I wish we were neighbours. I would make you fall in love with the British (and frankly, correct) spelling of all words. Of course, if we were neighbours, you’d probably destroy my gingerbread house…

  2. IamSimplyTia December 16, 2011 at 10:48 pm #

    This is beautiful, sounds like a great combination of flavors. Thanks for a wonderful and yummy recipe Movita!

  3. emmalina73 December 17, 2011 at 8:55 am #

    I think I might have damaged my computer trying to gnaw through the screen to get to them. Oh well.

    Thanks for your defence of correct and indeed, superior spelling. In England we have little tea parties where we all bring examples of incorrect, or as we call it ‘American’ spelling. How we laugh and laugh and laugh. These shortbreads would be just the ticket for such an event, white chocolate goes so well with mockery.

    • movita beaucoup December 18, 2011 at 9:46 pm #

      Americans, right? Who’s with me? They are just so damn entertaining!

  4. P.Kitty December 17, 2011 at 12:13 pm #

    Dearest Owl,
    This post makes me ever so happy. I did notice that the other working titles were NOT included, however, the use of the word ‘shit’ was ample, MamaKitty was very impressed…..agreed, these are rich, I like that you said to enjoy them as little squares, Martha would agree. Also, you may want to mention to your readers that you don’t ‘need’ a KitchenAid mixer for these….you can make them with a circa 1973 hand mixer that only has one beater, which will most likely induce more swearing to add to the festive fun. Thankfully, that situation is now under control…..xoxo

    • movita beaucoup December 18, 2011 at 9:45 pm #

      Dear P.Kitty,

      I love you. Let’s open a bakery together.

      Sincerely,
      Owl

  5. Ann December 17, 2011 at 3:39 pm #

    These look amazing! You and P.Kitty did a very nice job! 😀 Also, I didn’t know you were from England!

    • movita beaucoup December 18, 2011 at 9:40 pm #

      No, no. I’m not from England – I just spell things right. You know, the British way. That’s how we roll in Canada, Ann. We’re basically the perfect country.

  6. glutenfreezen December 17, 2011 at 9:02 pm #

    Elderly? Sheesh, I’m only 43…. 😉 These look fab, I’m going to try to do them gluten free.

  7. Jaimie December 17, 2011 at 9:31 pm #

    mo, you’ll be happy to know i just made p. kitty’s white chocolate coconut shortbreads and they are holy shit delicioso! (i feel like it’s okay to swear on here since you set the tone). i usually run away from a recipe with cornflakes, so i was pretty skeptical at first, but then i thought, if movita and p. kitty both approve of the combination, these must be something special. and they are. they. are. the. shit.

    i had to use coconut chips, which i finely chopped, since it’s all i had. i baked it for almost the full 85 minutes because: 1) the consistency of the butter here is different that in north america, it has a higher fat content, and somehow, to me, that means longer baking times. 2) i have no idea when shortbread is actually done. 3) i was distracted. at the same time i was making three layer peppermint bark with a dark chocolate ganache center and completely lost track of time. luckily the little shitbreads didn’t burn.

    thank you, and p. kitty, for your mouth watering recipe. happy holidays!

    • movita beaucoup December 18, 2011 at 9:43 pm #

      Dear Jaimie,

      I’m so glad you took our shit to the next level. I’m sure P.Kitty would agree. We’ll be expecting our peppermint bark in the mail. I hope it survives trek across the ocean. Also, I’m wondering why we didn’t come up with the name shitbreads…

      Sincerely,
      movita beaucoup

  8. Just A Smidgen December 18, 2011 at 1:00 am #

    Hahaha, I love it! I’ve wanted to swear (I think I might have already?) but wasn’t sure about my readers. You’re safe with me, I think this took blog writing to a whole new level as well!

  9. Lynne Knowlton December 19, 2011 at 2:58 pm #

    I have tears running down my face from laughing so hard. It’s messing up my makeup – that’s how hard I laughed. Now I am going to look like a turd 🙂 thanks for the big butt laughs !!!
    Lynne xx

  10. movita beaucoup June 2, 2015 at 7:34 am #

    Comments on this post are now closed as it was published in December 2011. Happy baking!

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