. . .
See? I’m not trying to kill you. “Oh, movita. I thought we were going to eat better. You’re ruining my life.” Am I? I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to force feed you that brownie. “Oh, movita. Why are you posting photos of delectable treats? It’s cruel. I can’t fit into my stretchy jeans anymore.” I apologize. I didn’t know you’d eat a gallon of white chocolate ice cream all by yourself.
Listen. I get that you idolize me. I get that you want to be just like me. I get that your inferior bodies can’t handle the massive quantities of butter and sugar that this here finely tuned machine can. So this one’s for you, ya big babies. No sugar. No caramel. Munch on a chicken leg and then scarf back some baby carrots, why don’t cha?
This is not a Superbowl recipe. Because I don’t do the Superbowl. I won’t even fake it. Sure, I’ll use it as an excuse to eat crap. Yah, I’ll be eating chips and dip as an entrée. But I couldn’t care less about the event itself. I won’t be posting some sort of food blogger tribute to it. Nope I won’t. This is a recipe for your dinner. A regular, non-sports-related dinner. It doesn’t require mesh football jerseys, collectible mugs, or tribute pennants. It doesn’t require you to dig deep. It ain’t no Cinderella story.
Will you be dancing in the end zone when you try this seasoned flour? Maybe. Could you run with the ball and add some of your own favourite spices? Sure. Odds are in your favour.
Will your family be blind-sided when you serve this instead of that huge can of Beefaroni you usually open on a Thursday night? Will it put it you on a level playing field with the jerks from the PTA? Hells yah, it will!
And here’s the great thing about this seasoned flour – you can keep it for ages in a mason jar. Then when you reach a stalemate planning your weekly meals, you’ll pull it out at the last second. You’ll combine that seasoned flour with some
blood, sweat and tears bread crumbs and you’ll kick that dinner right through the uprights. Heck, you might end up using this seasoning on other stuff too. Like pork. Or ice cream.
. . .
Seasoned Flour (Homemade Shake ‘n Bake) - print and make for a non-sports related event
In a mason jar or airtight container combine:
- 1 cup flour
- 1 1/2 teaspoons salt
- 1 1/2 teaspoons celery salt
- 1 1/2 teaspoons black pepper
- 1 tablespoon mustard powder
- 1 tablespoon garlic powder
- 2 tablespoons paprika
- 1/2 teaspoon ground ginger
- 1/4 teaspoon dried thyme
- 1/4 teaspoon dried basil
- 1/4 teaspoon dried oregano
Shake well to combine. Store the seasoned flour in the mason jar until ready to use. (It will keep for ages!)
To use, you will need:
- 1 cup bread crumbs (per batch)
Combine 4 tablespoons of the seasoned flour with 1 cup of bread crumbs, being sure to mix well.
Coat chicken pieces and bake according to preferred method.
Notes: I rub my chicken pieces with some olive oil prior to rolling them in the seasoned flour/bread crumb mixture. Then I place the pieces in a baking dish and bake at 375°F until the internal temperature of the pieces is 170-185°F (depending on which food safety agency you trust most). Juices should run clear.