. . .
See? I’m not trying to kill you. “Oh, movita. I thought we were going to eat better. You’re ruining my life.” Am I? I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to force feed you that brownie. “Oh, movita. Why are you posting photos of delectable treats? It’s cruel. I can’t fit into my stretchy jeans anymore.” I apologize. I didn’t know you’d eat a gallon of white chocolate ice cream all by yourself.
Listen. I get that you idolize me. I get that you want to be just like me. I get that your inferior bodies can’t handle the massive quantities of butter and sugar that this here finely tuned machine can. So this one’s for you, ya big babies. No sugar. No caramel. Munch on a chicken leg and then scarf back some baby carrots, why don’t cha?
This is not a Superbowl recipe. Because I don’t do the Superbowl. I won’t even fake it. Sure, I’ll use it as an excuse to eat crap. Yah, I’ll be eating chips and dip as an entrée. But I couldn’t care less about the event itself. I won’t be posting some sort of food blogger tribute to it. Nope I won’t. This is a recipe for your dinner. A regular, non-sports-related dinner. It doesn’t require mesh football jerseys, collectible mugs, or tribute pennants. It doesn’t require you to dig deep. It ain’t no Cinderella story.
Will you be dancing in the end zone when you try this seasoned flour? Maybe. Could you run with the ball and add some of your own favourite spices? Sure. Odds are in your favour.
Will your family be blind-sided when you serve this instead of that huge can of Beefaroni you usually open on a Thursday night? Will it put it you on a level playing field with the jerks from the PTA? Hells yah, it will!
And here’s the great thing about this seasoned flour – you can keep it for ages in a mason jar. Then when you reach a stalemate planning your weekly meals, you’ll pull it out at the last second. You’ll combine that seasoned flour with some blood, sweat and tears bread crumbs and you’ll kick that dinner right through the uprights. Heck, you might end up using this seasoning on other stuff too. Like pork. Or ice cream.
Touchdown, baby.
. . .
Seasoned Flour (Homemade Shake ‘n Bake) - print and make for a non-sports related event
In a mason jar or airtight container combine:
- 1 cup flour
- 1 1/2 teaspoons salt
- 1 1/2 teaspoons celery salt
- 1 1/2 teaspoons black pepper
- 1 tablespoon mustard powder
- 1 tablespoon garlic powder
- 2 tablespoons paprika
- 1/2 teaspoon ground ginger
- 1/4 teaspoon dried thyme
- 1/4 teaspoon dried basil
- 1/4 teaspoon dried oregano
Shake well to combine. Store the seasoned flour in the mason jar until ready to use. (It will keep for ages!)
To use, you will need:
- 1 cup bread crumbs (per batch)
Combine 4 tablespoons of the seasoned flour with 1 cup of bread crumbs, being sure to mix well.
Coat chicken pieces and bake according to preferred method.
Notes: I rub my chicken pieces with some olive oil prior to rolling them in the seasoned flour/bread crumb mixture. Then I place the pieces in a baking dish and bake at 375°F until the internal temperature of the pieces is 170-185°F (depending on which food safety agency you trust most). Juices should run clear.
Nicely done. It’s that rosemary sprig that sticks it extra to the PTA jerks, isn’t it? That rosemary sprig is all “You thought we were going to have beef-a-roni?! Guess again, people. You thought we were going to have store-bought shake and bake? GUESS AGAIN PEOPLE. Let me draw your attention to the fact that I own some FRESH FREAKING HERBS.”
Holla.
Right? And here’s the best part: THERE’S NO ROSEMARY IN THE RECIPE. It was just a bleepin’ prop. (And probably a violation of some sort of food blogger code.) So, there PTA. Jam it!
Love it Motiva….. I’m gonna mix some up this weekend.
“Pimp your poultry”? WIN! I don’t understand all the fuss about superbowl either, I’d rather make myself a superbowl of this chicken and enjoy my evening!
Woot!
Thanks for the recipe. I’m actually gonna try it.
You know, it actually never occurred to me that you could make Shake-n-Bake at home. You’re so smart! And these look really good.
Ok here goes with a multiple part comment:
1. I worship your awesome metabolism and am currently shouting at my metabolism saying things like “See! See! Digest that chocolate damn you!”, I’m pretty sure I’ll drop a dress size by the weekend.
2. I had planned breaded chicken strips for the boys tomorrow night so this recipe is perfect. But you already knew that didn’t you?
3. You are right to eschew American football, it goes on too long, is boring and all the padding makes it a sissy version of rugby, the true national game of Wales.
4. Thank you for saying ‘couldn’t care less’ instead of ‘could care less’ as I see Americans saying which drives me crazy because I’m all ‘That doesn’t make sense! You are saying the opposite of what you actually mean!’ and then I get frothy and have to cool off by lying in a vat of white chocolate ice cream which I then have to eat because of hygiene and health and safety laws.
Hugs!
In response to 4, I always thought ‘could care less’ should be used sarcastically.
Then again I’m just another lazy American… but I’m with you on rugby.
1. Just to be clear, I’ve got some jelly, and I don’t know if you’re ready for it. (Holla, Beyoncé.)
2. Yes, I knew. Because I am all knowing.
3. Thank god for rugby. I don’t know why, I’m just pretty sure it’s important to say that to you.
4. Right? It’s almost as bad as people who say irregardless. Not a word, people.
Fabulous! I was so excited when I saw this come across my twitter, lol. I can’t wait to keep a stock of these in the pantry!
I like your attitude, Ms. M.
Homemade shake and bake?! YES !! Oh how I love you ! You are my poultry goddess !
And how did you do that Martha Stewart writing on your pic again? I want to learn how to be all martha-esque and put text on my pics.
Teach me chicken goddess, teach me .
As always, adore your blog. I must stop telling you that, or you will think I have gone mad.
Adore it. Ok.Last time I’m saying it. I promise. I lie.
I use an online photo editor to add text. There are tons of them, and they are all pretty easy to use. Just google “online photo editor,” and you’ll get a whole bunch to choose from!
I don’t think you’ve got mad. You’ve gone smart. movita smart!
xox
I would like to sign up for one (1) movita beaucoup tribute pennant. And perhaps, also, a sippy cup.
Best. Idea. Ever.
It’s true! Your body must be like a Porsche, with all that dance instruction you do. Burning up energy while just idling at a red light. My body is more like a 4 cylinder GMC Pacer. With all the standing around and sitting I do.
Barley able to make it from 0 to 60 without needing to take a rest for a second!
When I am not on our showroom floor trying to peddle floor covering to customers I am sitting at my desk reading blogs about delicious entrees and desserts.
So, thanks. Thanks for thinking of all the chubby people of the world who want to eat deliciousness without having to go out and buy yet another size larger jeans. Your practically a saint now or something!
This comment basically made me blow coffee outta my nose.
And I thank you for that.
You are so funny. It’s nice to know that not everyone will be trapped in a football-induced-coma this weekend – and the chicken looks delicious. I’ll be trying it soon
Not that I can mess with perfection, but have you tried using panko crumbs instead of bread crumbs? it’s a bread-crumb-esque thing, but not quite the same, and it makes it more crispy and flaky on the outside, in a delicious way. We recently switched out the bread crumbs on the family recipe for pork schnitzel (that my mom has been making for years and years and years, always the same), and it is suddenly 10x better. Even my mom agrees.
Yes – I’ve used panko crumbs (awesome), and also, some italian spiced crumbs that I bought accidentally one day. They both worked smashingly with the seasoned flour! And, as I was saying to my lovely neighbour, I bet it would even work with crushed cornflakes. Crunchy!!
Love this. You have such a way with words.
And we don’t do the Superbowl either so it’ll get used for a regular dinner!!!
Thank you for using my seasoned flour for the purpose it was intended.
Movita darling, have you used Panko in place of bread crumbs, or used the Italian bread crumbs? Both are wonderful…oh… IMHO Panko ROCKS!!!
I used Panko the first time. Totally yummy. And I also bet you could use crushed cornflakes. See how versatile this flour is?
I have had fish that was breaded using crushed corn flakes – scrumptious, very scrumptious
I’m not sure how I feel about you – I think you might be funnier than me, and that makes me nervous. After some thought though, I’ve decided I’d rather you were on my side. Love the snark – looking forward to following you.
Your blog has made my Google Reader cut. That’s saying a lot. Mostly because I am nervous about YOUR damn sense of humour…
Have you ever thought of doing stand-up Movita? Heck, whatdoiknow? maybe you were standing up when you wrote this. You are a H o o t ! (and I’m quite sure that’s the first time you EVER heard you were funny!) : )
This is the first time someone has ever told me I am funny. And I did write this post standing up.
You just get me.
Oh my gosh this looks sooo good! I am in love with the seasoned flour blend, all of the spices I enjoying using to marinade or season poultry. And those photos, absolutely gorgeous! Now I’m off to drool over your white chocolate ice cream =]
The white chocolate ice cream that once lived in my freezer is now gone. Which of the 5 stages of grief would you recommend in this instance? (Tee hee!)
YUMM!!! love the “pimp yer poultry” nice touch
How fantastic to have found you! Love the recipe, love your “take no prisoners” attitude.. tons of fun.. c
Pimp Yer Poultry. I like that!
This year I’m not really “doing” the superbowl either. My niner’s didn’t make it and I am bitter!
Lovely shots and recipe, Movita. I always do this sort of thing for my fried chicken! It gives it such an amazing flavour.
I don’t give a tootie fruity about the Superbowl either! And I’m glad it’s over quite frankly – now we can all move on to more important things, like chocolate! And chicken!
How how fabulous! Yummy flavors without all the additives!
I am definitely going to be mixing some of this up and using it with my gluten-free bread crumbs! YUM!
Lovely idea, been meaning to make fried chicken for a while and now I have an even better excuse to
Finally got a chance to put this together this past weekend. Used it on baked chicken tenders – fantastic! This coated better than anything I’ve ever tried in the past. Will never used anything else again. Unless I’m out of the mix and in a hurry. Or lazy. Or tired….
Yay! I’m so glad you took the time to let me know! And I’m really happy that you liked it so much…
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I read this post and I think I fell in love with you. Lol, kidding, because that would be weird right? I’m not weird I swear.
So I’m almost a year late even reading this post, but thank God for pinterest because I’m broke and craving shake n’ bake. (I have this unhealthy love for shake n’ bake…) I do plan on using some panko in this, for a bit of extra crunch.
As for football, I despise football. And the fact that 4-5 nights a week my husband feels the need to keep it on my TV.
Now I’m off to read the rest of your blog!
Dear Crystal,
Everything I do, I do for you.
Sincerely,
movita beaucoup
PS 2.0 loves football. It makes me sick.
I know this is “Pimp Your Poultry” but do you think this might work on Pork as well? I LOVE SnB but all that junk in it is horrible! I realize that this is a blog from a while back but I just found it on Pinterest (don’t ya just love all those pinners?)
Kim, I love pinners!! We use this flour (mixed with bread crumbs) on chicken, pork and fish! And sometimes we even top it with a little smoked Maldon salt – it’s the bomb!