. . .
On April 26th, I ate moths. More specifically, between 1 and 4.5 million moth eggs. It’s hard to know how many I actually ate, thus the broad range in estimated consumption.
Immediately after consuming the moth eggs, I texted 2.0. The text read: I just ate moth larvae.
I sent it at 12:27 pm. I expected an immediate response. I got: no response.
So I messaged the only other person that I thought might be able to help. Katherine at Eggton. (In hindsight, Mr. Rutherford, for reasons soon to be explained, would have been another obvious choice.)
I wrote the following message on the Eggton page: I just ate baby moths, and possibly some moth eggs. I didn’t know who else to contact about the situation. I have brushed my teeth about a million times. But I’m pretty sure they are going to reproduce in my stomach.
Katherine responded very quickly. She suggested that I find and consume a large bottle of high-proof alcohol, because (and I’m not sure if this is based on any sort of science) moths “… are allergic to that stuff and as soon as it hits ‘em, they’re toast.” She also warned me against wearing wool for at least 48 hours. After providing lots of information and support, Katherine asked: how did this happen, exactly?
My fingers shook as I typed. I told her about how I was eating fancy crackers for lunch. With smoked mussels. And how I was happy. So, so happy. Because I love fancy crackers. And I love smoked mussels. And then, as I neared the end of my tasty snack, I saw a… pantry moth situation in the cracker box. People, I need you to understand just how horrifying it is to see what you think are cracker crumbs, and to have been happily munching on those cracker crumbs, only to realize that those cracker crumbs are really moth eggs.
An hour after the moth saga began, 2.0 STILL HADN’T BEEN IN TOUCH TO SEE IF I WAS IN ANY SORT OF DANGER OR IN NEED OF EMERGENCY MEDICAL ATTENTION.
Still seeking the comfort of others, I posted this on my facebook timeline: I just ate moth eggs. As in: baby moths. I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO NEXT.
Within seconds, I had a response. Thirty responses, in fact. With useful advice like: a roofie might help you forget this has happened, and avoid lightbulbs. But still nothing from 2.0.
Midway through the afternoon, I saved my neighbour from a potential kidnapping. Yah. You read that right. I saved my adult-firefighting-neighbour from possible kidnapping during my own medical emergency. And therefore, kept the city safer. Because we can’t lose any firefighters in this city. No way.
And still, no word from 2.0.
At 5 pm, when there was still no message from 2.0, I began to worry about him. What could be preventing him from getting in touch? Was he trapped under a concrete panel at work? Desperately trying to reach his cell phone? Wondering if moths were hatching in my esophagus? Was he crying? Was he fraught with moth concern, but unable to make contact with me? Etching a message on the bottom of that concrete panel with his fingernails?
No. He wasn’t trapped. He just didn’t think my “situation” was an emergency. And at 6:30 pm, 2.0 finally called. He said: “hey, do you still want me to pick up dinner, or are you too full from eating moths?”
That’ll probably be funny one day.
I guess it’s only fitting that I share the recipe for the cupcakes that I made for Mr. Rutherford’s birthday, because he ate worms for a few days several years ago. That’s probably worse than eating moths, right? You see, worms had taken up residency in a bag of raisins in the Rutherford kitchen, and Mr. Rutherford ate some of them. Or a lot of them. We’re not sure because he’d been eating those raisins for a few days before he noticed a couple of little worms squirming around in his tasty treat…
These cupcakes might help you forget the bad things that sometimes happen when you least expect it. These cupcakes will make you hungry again – even if you’ve vowed never to let food pass by your moth laden teeth ever again. These cupcakes are cheery and bright. The coconut in these cupcakes makes ‘em extra sweet, and the lime provides a little citrus balance. Be warned: if you aren’t a white chocolate fan, you’re gunna want to walk away from this frosting. It is sweet and steeped with white chocolate.
Also, just in case you’re worried, it would seem that our pantry is totally moth-free. I guess I ate ‘em all.
. . .
Coconut Lime Cupcakes with White Chocolate Frosting – from Style at Home Magazine, May 2012, with minor adjustments to the notes and ingredients - print and bake
Yields about 16 cupcakes.
For the cupcakes:
- 1 teaspoon lemon juice
- 1/2 cup skim milk
- 1 1/4 cups all purpose flour
- 1/2 teaspoon baking powder
- 1/4 teaspoon salt
- 3/4 cup unsalted butter, room temperature
- 1 1/4 cups granulated sugar
- 2 large eggs, room temperature
- 1 heaping teaspoon grated lime zest
- 1 1/2 tablespoons fresh lime juice
- 1 teaspoon vanilla bean paste or vanilla extract
- 1 cup sweetened coconut flakes
For the frosting:
- 140 grams (approx. 10 1 oz. squares) white chocolate
- 1/2 cup butter, room temperature
- 4 cups icing (confectioner’s) sugar, sifted
- 1 tablespoon lime juice
- 4 tablespoons sour cream
- coconut flakes for garnish (optional)
To make the cupcakes:
Grease or line muffin tins and set aside. Preheat oven to 350°F.
Make buttermilk by stirring the lemon juice into the skim milk. Set aside.
In a medium sized bowl, whisk together the flour, baking powder and salt. Set aside.
Cream together the butter and sugar in the large bowl of a stand mixer on medium speed (3-4 minutes). Reduce mixer speed to low, and beat in the eggs one at a time. Add in the lime zest, lime juice and vanilla paste (or extract), and mix well.
Add the 1/3 of the flour mixture to the butter mixure, mixing to combine. Then add 1/2 of the buttermilk, mixing until well combined. Then add another 1/3 of the flour mixture, the remaining half of the buttermilk, and then the final 1/3 of the flour mixture – mixing well after each addition.
Fold in the coconut.
Scoop the cupcake mix into the prepared muffin tins, filling each well about 2/3 full. Bake for 25-30 minutes, or until a cake tester inserted into the centre of the cupcakes comes out clean. Allow the cupcakes to cool completely on a wire rack.
To make the frosting:
Carefully melt the chocolate in a heat-proof bowl over a pot of simmering water. Remove from the heat and cool until just warm.
Whip the butter in the bowl of a stand mixer on medium speed until light and fluffy (3-4 minutes). Add in 2 cups of the icing sugar, mixing on low until the mixture starts to come together. Add in the remaining icing sugar, lime juice and sour cream, mixing until smooth. Gently fold in the white chocolate.
Frost the cupcakes when they are cool, and garnish with coconut flakes if desired.
ZOMG … you should never be left to your own devices…where the hell was that donkey??? not on Movita watch, obviously!!!
So glad you survived the moth saga…I missed it totally on FB!!!
Love these cupcakes. you know I love puttin’ de lime in de coconut
xx
Do you think donkeys would kick a moth to death?
I do.
I am SOOO happy that you made these! I dog-earred this recipe in my Style At Home mag because they looked so delicious… were they? I bet they were. I’m *so* making them ASAP.
OH.MY.GOD….Thank you for keeping the city safer and diverting the disaster that could have been neighbour’s kidnapping….again, so sad to have discovered moth eggs whilst eating fancy crackers and (the best) smoked mussels, makes me want to eat them from the can, the hell with the crackers – might be safer that way….
Lobster might be safer as well…
May we use the word “mothy” as an adjective now? I rather like it. Your writing puts a smile on my face, and I am now going to check my raisins……and my crackers, and my flour, and………..my wool, my precious wool, not that I eat it, of course, but, well……..
Yes, mothy is now an adjective! And I’ve been learning a lot about pantry moths. Like how airtight containers are a girl’s best friend…
xox
So, I gagged a bit. Which is never good when you’re reading a food blog.
Also, I hope you made 2.0 pay, know what I mean?
I’m going to save this recipe for later. I’ll pin it and skip over the moth debacle. Because I can’t, I just can’t.
Also, I just turned to my wife and told her your story. Here was her response:
“Baby, it’s too early for you to be telling me anything like that.”
Maybe that’s why 2.0 didn’t get back to me right away after the consumption incident… it was too early?
Hah, that’s funny – I eat moths every time I open my wallet… Kinda gross though. You need your tastebuds sorting… On the plus side, these cupcakes look ridiculously pretty. You make me crave my new camera when I get it…
Holy crow! I can’t imagine what you’ll do with a new camera – you take such great shots now! That being said, my brother firmly believes that everyone needs a new toy to play with every now and then. I bet you’re going to have loads and loads of fun with your new camera… I can’t wait!!
You do seem to have a lot of adventures with the local fauna, Ms. B. But if those were organic and unsprayed moths, you should be okay. I foresee cakes decorated with moth wings, artistically rendered, of course, maybe in spun sugar.
I’m quite sure the moths were of the organic and unsprayed variety. And you’re right… I’m thinking I need to use this tragedy to springboard into a whole line of moth-related baking…
AHHHH!!! I loathe pantry moths! Despise the little suckers! I had them once and I’m utterly skeeved at even the thought. That sucks. On another note, LOVE the cupcakes! They are amazing and I need them right now.
what a story and I’m so sorry you had the ordeal! Hope you’re fine now! The cupcakes on the other hand look amazing and your photos are beautiful!
Oh God! I wouldn’t know what to do if I ate moths or something like that by mistake. I would just try to see if I can belch it out. It is a very ugggghhhh situation to be in.
the cupcakes look absolutely moreish. The photographs are beyond stunning.
I hope you didn’t have any problems later on, from consuming those moth eggs etc.
Thanks, Anita! FYI, anytime 2.0 sees a moth – anywhere – he assumes it came out of me. That I’ve belched it out, that it’s the result of a cough, or that it flew out of an ear… sigh.
GORGEOUS cakes… mmmm-mmmmm.
Your post made me LOL !! Moo x
I bought sugar at a local shop recently and found a little bug marching around in it. Fortunately, I found it in the first scoop I was taking out of the bag and didn’t eat any. Phew, no therapy required! Years ago, I was baking with my daughter who was about 5 years old at the time. We found a little green worm doing that kinky little worm dance in a packet of raisins. I just checked with her — yup, she still won’t eat them.
Enough about bugs! Your cupcakes are lovely! You’ve inspired me. I went out today and bought some large pastry tips and am going to start experimenting with decorating. No more nudie cupcakes for me! I want mine to be all tarted up and pretty like yours!
I recently got a set of pastry tips – I’ve got lots of other decorating tips – a bazillion, but hadn’t thought to treat myself to the pastry variety. BEST THINGS I’VE EVER PURCHASED. I loves them.
Why won’t bugs just leave us alone?
You make me smile. Thank you.
Oh, Melissa! I’m glad to help out…
Please forgive me for laughing. I guess you got me back by making me squirm with that worm story. Blech. And then once again redeemed yourself with this delightful recipe!
I might have eaten a worm or two about a year ago. It was only when I got to my last piece of mandarin that I noticed a worm, and he was looking at me, as if to say “why did you eat my family?”. I’ll never know what truly happened and I have to live with that!
Your comment made me snort coffee out of my nose.
Enough said.
OMG, while reading this I was just eating crackers for breakfast, so stopped eating, although no moths to be found….
But those cupcakes look awesome!
Not to make it worse, but those moths are going to have to come out the other end. Be sure to text 2.0 when that happens.
Thank you, Sharon. For making me even more nervous…
I hate pantry moths. I have a separate freezer to store flours and grains in, which was the only way I could protect my baking stuff here in the humid south. And yes, I statistically have consumed some of them, but I do not want to think about it. I loved the not helpful comments about avoiding wool and beware of light bulbs! Awesome.
I’m thinking about sleeping in our freezer tonight.
Just in case.
Oh, dear god this sounds dreadful.. I’ve done it.. not moths but cereal with those little creepy crawlers in it.. I always wondered if I’d ingested some mysterious cure for cancer or something.. I mean, who knows? No one else would willingly try this? BUT I would try those cupcakes.. one, maybe two or three…
One day, doctors will credit you with discovering the cure for cancer. In the meantime, check your cereal regularly…
Every time I started envisioning eating moths, another beautiful cupcake photo popped up. And honestly, I found that comforting. Like, “DANGER, oh no!”, and then “everything will be okay– there’s cupcakes!” Love coconut and lime!
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Yippie!! Thank you, thank you!
i think you were right to have a cow! i would go completely crazy and probably barf, because moths are my most hated insect!! On the other hand… you have some pretty spiffy looking cupcakes there! coconut + lime!?! amazing! + white chocolate!? OFF THA HOOK!
Oh, Ann. How I missed you when you were away…
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Hey wait, did we consider the idea that you might become a superhero? You could blind baddies with that weird powdery dust from your wings, and, em… infest their pantries? Also I just read that sentence back and it looked like I might have written something rude, and even though I didn’t it’s making me chuckle now. What were we talking about?
Yes. I am a superhero. Didn’t Spiderman eat a spider to get his super powers? PROBABLY. I’m going to use this to my advantage. I think there’s a gang causing problems down the street. Tonight, we dance…
hahah, sorry but 2.0′s comment made me laugh. I’m sure at the time it wasn’t funny at all! Eating moth eggs is a horrible experience and I’m sorry you will now associate fancy food with moths
Damn… how did I miss these beauties! These will make great party cakes for the end of the year school event. Show those kids what good food is!
i was wondering when i would get to finally hear the moth story, in its entirety. this is exactly the reason i obsessively check to things in my pantry if i feel they’ve been in there for too long and may be subject to random infestations. also, because my mom tells me to; she had a run-in with weevils (?) in her flour when we were little. or so she tells me.
sometimes she makes things up. i’m just happy you’re okay, and that you feel good enough to bless me with this coconut lime goodness. happily, i love white chocolate.
win. win.
We had some pantry moths last year – in the baking cupboard. We went through and meticulously discarded everything that looked the least bit suspicious. We now wrap all baking items in an extra large ziploc back to prevent the return of moths. We have a pantry moth death strip in the baking cupboard as well. And I, too, obsessively check items like flour.
I guess that’s why they moved into my crackers… revenge.
this reminded me of a friend who had a similarly gross situation with rice and ummm… something that could look like rice unless it was moving, which it was. He also once ate a toothpick by mistake (the toothpick was holding smoked oysters – mussels, oysters… conicidence?? I think not). We now leave signs for him at parties next to canapes platters saying “warning: may contain toothpicks”. One can never be too safe in these situations.
the cupcakes look and sound amazing though!
Your friend has made me feel better. At least the moth eggs weren’t MOVING. And I’ve never consumed wood…
I ate a centipede for five dollars a few years ago. It had weird stringy innards.
Aside from this, I often find bugs in my produce. &I found a bunch yesterday when cleaning fiddleheads, which is understandable. One such unlucky fellow was a slug who I intended to take outside, but accidentally squished across the countertop. Sorry, buddy.
2.0 and I feel that the comments on this post are better than the actual post.
Well played.
These were Fantastic, although when I made them, they were less cake-like and more like macaroons with icing.
What did I do wrong? Or is that how they were supposed to be? Still tasted fantastic!
I think the large quantity of coconut can play a lot in the texture of this cupcake. Mine were still cakey, but not as cakey as a traditional cupcake. I am dying to try them with unsweetened coconut next, and wonder if that might affect the texture as well…
I just read that in Scotland they have “midges.” Do you know what a midge is? You probably would, since it’s a distant cousin of the moth. The only difference is that midges are blood-sucky and smaller. Anyway, when we arrive there in a few days, it’s going to be the height of midge season, which is freaking fantastic, because that means we’ll have double the chance of eating midges by mistake, either in crackers or just by breathing. Maybe I’ll wear some kind of face scarf.
Anyway, I’m glad Mr. Rutherford is okay, and I hope you were wearing a cape when you saved him. These photos are off the hook, by the way. Especially the first one. That is some serious cupcake photography to be proud of.
There are midges here in Maine too. Old men were talking about them in heavy accents last summer, and we thought they were discussing how they kept their lights off at night to keep out the ‘ninjas.’
Cripes. Add midges to my list of things to worry about.
Just to be clear: I would never save Mr. Rutherford from kidnapping. Nor would I allow any Rutherford to live next to me. I saved my neighbour, firefighter Glenn, from kidnapping. He is totally awesome and probably has a cape in his closet. Also, it was just a potential kidnapping. Turns out the threatening dude/suspect was some guy Glenn knew in high school, and he might not have been trying to kidnap him. He MIGHT have been catching up with him. But still. I was vigilant.
I am very concerned about your trip to Scotland. Do you think that Scott will know what to do in a Midge Emergency? Or will he be too busy at his robot conference to worry about you?
Emma, that comment made me snort extra hard.
Question: is Firefighter Glenn single? Because he sounds kind of awesome. Not that *I* am asking. I’m asking *for a friend.* Ahem.
Anyhoo, Scott COULD be helpful in a midge emergency. Maybe. I read that midges are attracted to large, smelly cows. Not kidding. So if I can get Scott to impersonate a large, smelly cow, then maybe all the midges will bite him instead of me. Unclear. I’m bringing DEET as a Plan B.
No, firefighter Glenn lives with Michelle. And she’ll kick anyone’s ass for just about anything. No lie. So stay clear of Glenn. She’s very crafty and likes to cook and stuff just like me. Also, she’ll probably win Pumpkin Carve-Off this year. Because she’s good with KNIVES.
There WAS another firefighter across the street who used to mow his lawn topless, but alas, he has rented his house to less attractive people.
I’m concerned about your Midge Strategy. Maybe I should come along… just in case.
Im dying reading this. Not that I don’t acknowledge that eating months would make me reenact that scene from Ace Ventura where he scrubs in disgust over his recent discovery with much much more drama, but that that is EXACTLY what my boyfriend would do. I would get 20 messages the day before about stupid things he found at Home Depot, but a life endangering moth consuming text from me would go ignored until he could brutally poke fun at me for it.
Im sorry you ate moths… you will have to let us know if the roofie helped. I would have totally tried the alcohol… just for my sanity.
hilarity to the umpteenth degree! as a nurse, working a night shift, in an elderly clients home (who has dementia), laughing loudly at 3 a.m. is not a wise move. so, i must leave reading your posts till bed time, in my own home.
cupcakes? heavenly!
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Movita, you have me cracking up. I love reading your posts. However, I am dearly sorry that you ate baby moths and possibly moth eggs. I would have freaked out as well and sought out help from other sources. What? Since when is eating moth eggs not a dire emergency. Men! These cupcakes look absolutely amazing. Love lime and coconut together.
This whole situation has really just confirmed what I already knew. You need to live at my house where all eating is monitored by me and we talk almost exclusively about icing. That’s fun right? Right? Anyone?
You know what’s the most f’ed up? Something like that happens and I think, “Well, at least now I have something to write about.”
Oh and those cupcakes look delicious but the idea of eating moth eggs made me want to throw up, s it was sort of a wash.
Just discovered you and your quite entertaining blog! These cupcakes have all the ingredients currently on my crave list. Lime, coconut, sugar and all things fat. Think I’ll pass on the moth eggs though.
Dear Teri,
A real fan would eat moth eggs. Just sayin’.
xox movita
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oh my gosh HOW HORRIFYING!!!! I know bugs are a regular part of life but…. YOU POOR THING!!! Thanks to Shannon @ apt for linking to your story btw