bake my cake 2013: katherine’s cake

Our final Bake My Cake entry comes from Katherine of Eggton. But you all figured that out, didn’t you? Because she always shows up to the party. And, as always, you won’t be disappointed. BEHOLD:

bake my cake 2013: katherine's cake | movita beaucoup

Katherine sent the following note with her entry:

Dear movita,

I’m so proud of you. It was going to be awkward for all of us if you failed baking school, so thank you for pulling yourself together.

I made a cake that looks like you. I must apologize for your slightly uneven cake boobs. I had never made cake boobs before. After I messed them up a couple times, I googled “uneven boobs” and found out that 80% of women have them. When I read that, I put down the icing. Life’s too short to worry about every last cake boob, right? They’re perfect just the way they are.

Congratulations!

Because Katherine only sent in one photo, I figured she’d be okay if I cropped it to give you a detail shot. Of my boobs.

bake my cake 2013: katherine's cake | movita beaucoup

(I got a little confused about which boob was wonky.)

Did you know that Jennifer Lawrence has uneven boobs? That means uneven boobs are going to be a huge trend. Actually, asymmetrical things have always been quite stylish – like asymmetrical haircuts and hemlines. And, because nature is weird, fiddler crabs have one small claw and one big claw. That’s asymmetry at work, son. (Click here to see a fiddler crab waving at you with its bigass claw.)

Now, look at me. Look at me in cake form. Look at how long and skinny my arms are. There is absolutely underarm fat. None. And, as in real life, my arms are longer than my legs. Look at that hat! It looks like it could be made out of liquorice. Did you know that black icing is hard to make? True story. It brings to mind the super cool saying: the tassel is worth the hassle. Go ahead, use it if you like.

This is the only entry in this year’s competition that has a graduation theme. It’s like Katherine is the only person who actually thought that I could pull myself together. Were I to eat that cake, I would start with the arms and then move on to a leg or two. Then I’d probably take a break to contemplate the unification of gravitation with quantum chromodynamics. Upon my return, I’d eat the hat, because it’s black and would turn my tongue dark purple, and then I’d finish with the torso, as the white icing would act as a palate/tongue cleanser. I mean, that’s probably how they’d do it in France, right?

You should know that Katherine’s blog helped me survive baking school. Sometimes I’d see a new post in my google reader, and then save it for a few days. You know, until I needed it. Because she makes me snort stuff outta my nose. Also, I think she gets quantum chromodynamics.

Thanks for the graduation cake, Katherine. Thanks for helping me get through the school year. And thanks for believing that I could get my act together.

If you love Katherine’s cake as much as I do, you can cast a vote for it tomorrow – Monday, June 17th, 2013.

7 Responses to bake my cake 2013: katherine’s cake

  1. ibreatheimhungry June 16, 2013 at 8:58 am #

    This cake made me LOL HARD – it’s so adorable and perfect for you, which is not at all surprising considering the source! It also made me nostalgic for your old blog format that had tiny Movita’s everywhere – I miss those gals. Speaking of gals, you can count mine among the 80% that are slightly uneven. Who knew me and J-Law had so much in common!?

  2. shannon June 16, 2013 at 8:59 am #

    i KNEW IT!!!
    I knew the last entry would be katherine’s. Mostly because i know you do these in the order received, and if anyone knows how to show up just under the gun to a deadline, it’s katherine. Congrats maybe to us both for showing up at the last minute with a cake. Perhaps tipsy.

    That being said, i love this cake. it is a masterpiece, and exemplifies what your time in baking school was all about. Uneven boobs. Graduation hats. LOTS of frosting. Do they make you bake topless? That’s hardcore, and probably an excellent way of teaching students how hot ovens can be. Just saying.

    I’m gonna get beat again, aren’t i. *slams face into keyboard*

    • ibreatheimhungry June 16, 2013 at 4:56 pm #

      “There, there Shannon” *pats Shannon on the back soothingly while secretly hoping to win* “We’re all winners here. Ok, that’s a lie, there can only be one, and statistically speaking it probably won’t be you, but let’s look on the bright side shall we? *long expectant pause* “Um…….er……….there, there…” *resumes patting awkwardly*

      You totally called it! If it was calculated (and Katherine is totally cagey and diabolical enough to do it), then it was a brilliant move! Wish I’d thought of it! Ha ha! I thought bacon was going to win me this one, but yours has a ballerina, and Katherine’s cake has boobs for crying out loud, so now I’m not at all confident! Can bacon prevail? Time will tell….

      This would make a great title for Movita’s memoirs (or a Lifetime movie in her honor) – “Of Boobs, Bacon, and Ballerinas – Movita’s Story.”

      I’d buy it! 🙂

  3. Amy June 16, 2013 at 9:09 pm #

    Haha, love this cake 🙂 Leave it to Katherine and Scott to bring us a cake that not only tastes good (i assume) but makes us laugh.

  4. Stacy June 16, 2013 at 9:19 pm #

    I have been out of touch and largely internet-less this past week or so. Looks like I have a lot of catch-up reading to do before the vote begins tomorrow. Sorry I didn’t bake you a cake but I did believe you could pull yourself together for our amusement. I mean to pass baking school. Or both. Dissymmetry is the new black. Let the popularity contest begin!

  5. Allison (Spontaneous Tomato) June 17, 2013 at 2:29 pm #

    Awesome cake, uneven cake boobs and all! (I wish we could see the step-by-step photos of the making of this cake… non-round cakes seem impossibly intimidating to me. Not that I want a tutorial for actual imitation purpose; I have no intention of ever making a non-round (oh wait– or square) cake myself. I’m just curious to see how it’s done!)

  6. movita beaucoup December 28, 2015 at 10:35 am #

    Comments on this post are now closed as it was published in June 2013. Thanks for stopping by!

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