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Our final Bake My Cake entry comes from Katherine of Eggton. But you all figured that out, didn’t you? Because she always shows up to the party. And, as always, you won’t be disappointed. BEHOLD:
Katherine sent the following note with her entry:
I’m so proud of you. It was going to be awkward for all of us if you failed baking school, so thank you for pulling yourself together.
I made a cake that looks like you. I must apologize for your slightly uneven cake boobs. I had never made cake boobs before. After I messed them up a couple times, I googled “uneven boobs” and found out that 80% of women have them. When I read that, I put down the icing. Life’s too short to worry about every last cake boob, right? They’re perfect just the way they are.
Because Katherine only sent in one photo, I figured she’d be okay if I cropped it to give you a detail shot. Of my boobs.
(I got a little confused about which boob was wonky.)
Did you know that Jennifer Lawrence has uneven boobs? That means uneven boobs are going to be a huge trend. Actually, asymmetrical things have always been quite stylish – like asymmetrical haircuts and hemlines. And, because nature is weird, fiddler crabs have one small claw and one big claw. That’s asymmetry at work, son. (Click here to see a fiddler crab waving at you with its bigass claw.)
Now, look at me. Look at me in cake form. Look at how long and skinny my arms are. There is absolutely underarm fat. None. And, as in real life, my arms are longer than my legs. Look at that hat! It looks like it could be made out of liquorice. Did you know that black icing is hard to make? True story. It brings to mind the super cool saying: the tassel is worth the hassle. Go ahead, use it if you like.
This is the only entry in this year’s competition that has a graduation theme. It’s like Katherine is the only person who actually thought that I could pull myself together. Were I to eat that cake, I would start with the arms and then move on to a leg or two. Then I’d probably take a break to contemplate the unification of gravitation with quantum chromodynamics. Upon my return, I’d eat the hat, because it’s black and would turn my tongue dark purple, and then I’d finish with the torso, as the white icing would act as a palate/tongue cleanser. I mean, that’s probably how they’d do it in France, right?
You should know that Katherine’s blog helped me survive baking school. Sometimes I’d see a new post in my google reader, and then save it for a few days. You know, until I needed it. Because she makes me snort stuff outta my nose. Also, I think she gets quantum chromodynamics.
Thanks for the graduation cake, Katherine. Thanks for helping me get through the school year. And thanks for believing that I could get my act together.
If you love Katherine’s cake as much as I do, you can cast a vote for it tomorrow – Monday, June 17th, 2013.