chocolate marshmallow layer bars {crap no. 10}

chocolate marshmallow layer bars | movita beaucoup

Some of you were confused by my last, almost-healthy recipe, so I decided to lay some multi-layered sweetness on you. Welcome to Crap I’ve Been Meaning to Tell You About, 10th Edition.

One of my students recently told me a story about passing out in sex education class. At first I pretended to be concerned, but then she told me that it happened when the nurse unwrapped a condom at the front of the room and extended it for all to see. She was sharing a chair with a boy she had a crush on (big mistake, kiddo), and then sorta slid off that chair, sweating and speaking in tongues. I guess kids were just steppin’ over her and stuff as the nurse cleared the room to assist her. Gawd, I miss high school.

chocolate marshmallow layer bars | movita beaucoup

Several weeks ago, 2.0 and I were joshin’ around, and I compared an incident to the time I almost pooped my pants on Spring Garden Road, and 2.0 said: which time?

WHICH TIME?

I’d like to assure you that there was only the one time.

chocolate marshmallow layer bars | movita beaucoup

Kinfolk. Sometimes I look at their stuff, and I’m all: aw, that’s pretty. But most of the time I’m thinking: take that ridiculous flower wreath off your head, bozo. I bet their dinner parties would be zero fun what with the conversation centring around harvest retreats and The Great Gatsby. Plus, I doubt 2.0 would grow a handlebar moustache for the event. 

My sister, Haddy, has me hooked on a column called “Kings County from The Cruiser.” It’s published in a newspaper local to where we grew up. Basically, it’s a weekly RCMP update to keep the villagers apprized of reported crime in the area. The column includes weekly gems like:

I’m guessing you’ve figured out that we don’t do no Kinfolk where I grew up.

chocolate marshmallow layer bars | movita beaucoup

On New Year’s Eve, a situation arose whilst 2.0 and I were visiting the Beaucoups. We were there for dinner, games, and festivities. After a trip to the washroom, I typed the following message on my iPhone and slid it across the table to 2.0:

I made a double flusher. Go do the second flush. 

I assumed that he would excuse himself from the table and address the situation, because we both know what a double flusher is, and we’re supposed to back each other up in these circumstances. He didn’t. At first I thought he was trying to be discrete, as running to the bathroom immediately after my departure might have been a giveaway. But it became apparent that he was more focused winning Carcassonne than my request for assistance. After about 20 minutes, and a good deal of worrying that someone else would get to the washroom before 2.0, I typed:

I made a double flusher a long time ago – GO PEE AND DO THE SECOND FLUSH!

2.0 looked down at the phone and nodded reassuringly. And then he slid my phone across the table to my mother. She read the message, and then handed it on to my brother, who passed it on to my dad. I’d like to tell you that I was completely traumatized by the event, but once you’ve almost pooped your pants in public, your threshold for this sort of thing gets adjusted significantly.

chocolate marshmallow layer bars | movita beaucoup

So, I push on and continue to bake, and these bars are one of my most recent favourites. They have three layers – a soft, chocolate base studded with walnuts, followed by a rich layer of marshmallow, and finished with a glossy, chocolate topping. The coconut in the base gives a satisfying chewiness, and keeps it slightly soft. The marshmallow layer is gooey and sweet, and I added krispie cereal to the topping to give a little crunch, along with some corn syrup to add a little sheen. Chocolatey and decadent – comforting even in one’s darkest hour.

. . .

Chocolate Marshmallow Layer Bars

print and bake

Yields one 9×9 inch pan.

For the base:

  • 1/4 cup granulated sugar
  • 1 cup light brown sugar, packed
  • 3/4 cup all-purpose flour
  • 1/2 teaspoon baking powder
  • 1/8 teaspoon salt
  • 2 tablespoons cocoa
  • 2 eggs, room temperature
  • 1 teaspoon vanilla
  • 1/2 cup unsweetened shredded coconut
  • 1/4 cup chopped walnuts

For the marshmallow layer:

  • 18 large marshmallows, cut in half

For the topping:

  • 1 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips
  • 2 tablespoons butter
  • 1 tablespoon light corn syrup
  • 1 cup Rice Krispies cereal

Mise en place – begin by getting organized. Read through the entire recipe before beginning. Measure out all of your ingredients.

Preheat oven to 350°F. Grease a 9×9 inch baking pan.

In a large bowl, whisk together the granulated sugar, brown sugar, flour, baking powder, salt and cocoa.

In a separate, small bowl, lightly beat the eggs, and then stir the eggs into the sugar mixture. Add the vanilla, coconut and walnuts, stirring until combined. The batter may seem dry at first, but will come together into a moist, somewhat sticky dough. Avoid over-mixing. Spread evenly in the greased 9×9 pan.

Bake for about 25 minutes, rotating the pan after 15 minutes, until somewhat firm and pulling away from the sides of the pan. A toothpick inserted into the centre should come out clean.

When the base is done baking, remove pan from the oven and immediately cover with marshmallow halves (6 rows of 6 marshmallows in each direction). Put the pan back into the oven for 1-2 minutes to soften the marshmallows. Remove pan from oven and use the point of a small pallet knife (or butter knife) to spread the marshmallows evenly. They will be very sticky and gooey, but as they melt they become easier to spread.

Make the topping: in a double boiler or a metal bowl placed over a pot of simmering water, combine the chocolate chips, butter and corn syrup. Cook until the chocolate chips and butter have completely melted, and the mixture is smooth, glossy, and hot to the touch. Stir in the Rice Krispies and then immediately spread over the marshmallow layer. This is easiest to do when the marshmallows are still warm.* The marshmallows and topping may marble slightly as you spread the topping over the surface.

Allow to cool completely on a wire rack and then cut into squares.

*note: you can make the topping while the base is baking. Don’t add the Rice Krispies until just before spreading the topping over the marshmallows, and be sure the chocolate mixture is still warm and loose when you stir in the Rice Krispies – if the chocolate is too cool, it will make combining and spreading difficult.

44 Responses to chocolate marshmallow layer bars {crap no. 10}

  1. Joan February 27, 2014 at 7:27 am #

    They look absolutely delicious. Yummmmm

  2. Cindy February 27, 2014 at 7:28 am #

    LOL….OMGosh, you never fail to delight me with your humorous family stories. I can so see something like that happening in my family as well. The chocolate marshmallow bars look very yum. I have diabetes so I can’t have them myself but I know bunches of other folk who will not hesitate to devour them. Thank you for the recipe and the laugh to get my day started!

    • movita beaucoup February 27, 2014 at 9:54 am #

      One day, Cindy, I will be elevated past pottie humour.

      Just kidding! That will never, ever happen.

  3. emma February 27, 2014 at 7:50 am #

    You *MISS* high school????

    ?????

    Also, I don’t get why you won’t let 2.0 see you pee, but this kind of conversation is okay.

    ???? I’m so confuuuuuused.

    • movita beaucoup February 27, 2014 at 9:53 am #

      Emmaaaaaaaa! There’s a huge difference between speaking of someone peeing, pooping and/or barfing and watching someone pee, poop, barf.

      Just kidding about missing high school. Even though I WAS Ms. Congeniality of my graduating class…

  4. Bonnie February 27, 2014 at 7:54 am #

    The bars sound delicious. My kind of sweet. I am still laughing over your story about being at the Beaucoup’s. I can just picture the passing of the phone. Love it!

  5. Stacy February 27, 2014 at 9:22 am #

    Here’s a little trick I’ve used countless times and especially in airplane bathrooms when you KNOW there is a line outside and anything left in the potty is undeniably attributable to you. Stand there with the door still locked until the toilet tank fills (not necessary on a plane, by the way, but you may have to add some water to the toilet bowl by way of those little paper drinking cups to help it ALL go down) and FLUSH AGAIN. Repeat as needed. Smile beatifically at the desperate cross-legged queue as you emerge. You are welcome.

    Meanwhile, pass the chocolate marshmallow layer bars, please.

    • movita beaucoup February 27, 2014 at 12:47 pm #

      Sweet, innocent Stacy. I live in a family who listens for the double flush. When you wait a long time in the bathroom, praying for the potty to refill quickly, and then flush for a second time, IT IS NOTED. Thus the need for a partner in… flushing. {sigh}

  6. Maureen | Orgasmic Chef February 27, 2014 at 9:29 am #

    I always wait. I would be mortified if my phone got passed around. Then there would be murder. Justifiable murder if you ask me.

    I’d need one of those bars to recover. I think I need one now just imagining it all.

    • movita beaucoup February 28, 2014 at 6:16 am #

      Don’t worry, Maureen. Revenge will be mine. And it won’t be wearing pants.

  7. themessybakerblog February 27, 2014 at 9:44 am #

    I think we need to go egg a house or something in that town. You know, really give ’em something to talk about. It sounds like they’re bored and need some high crime to attend to. Oh mah goodness, the double flusher story is hilarious. I think you should feed 2.0 shrimp after throwing you under the rug on that one. Um, I never thought to team up on a situation like that. I may have to bring the idea up to Squirrel. These bars…those layers!

  8. wee eats February 27, 2014 at 10:34 am #

    I’ve never heard of a donair much less eaten one, but now I want one. Did they keep it? Do you think the police would send it to me?

    What was 2.0 thinking!? The nerve!

    Side note, I want you to know that when I make these bars I’ll be thinking of you and your double-flusher. Thank you. 😉

    • movita beaucoup February 28, 2014 at 6:30 am #

      Halifax is pretty obsessed with donairs. {http://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/food-and-wine/food-trends/halifaxs-donair-the-tastiest-treat-you-have-probably-never-heard-of/article4257639/} You don’t have to be drunk to eat ’em, but it does seem to make them even better. I doubt the cops kept it, as they get pretty rank after a few hours. I know this because a friend of mine once put one in his jacket pocket in the wee hours of the morn, forgot about it, and… very, very bad things happened.

  9. tworedbowls February 27, 2014 at 10:40 am #

    This was. THE best. Nothing like guffawing at your computer (KINFOLK. DOUBLE FLUSHER.) when you’re trying to gear up for work. Movita’s stories >>> coffee. Most importantly, HO man I want these layer bars! They’re the kind that makes me want to see if I can cram one whole into my mouth at once. om.

  10. mellissa @ ibreatheimhungry February 27, 2014 at 11:18 am #

    I think you need to hire someone to translate all of these hilarious stories into graphic novels starring movita beaucoup. Seriously, you could make a mint! Maybe it would be syndicated into a comic strip that would be in all of the big papers. I can see it now, and IT. WOULD.BE. AWESOME. Much like these layer bars – YUM.

    • movita beaucoup March 1, 2014 at 8:16 am #

      It just so happens that I know a couple of illustrators… I’m on it!

  11. Lan | morestomach February 27, 2014 at 11:30 am #

    you have the best poop stories.
    and, kinfolk? you & me both sister. seriously.

  12. Willow @Will Cook For Friends February 27, 2014 at 11:42 am #

    So. Freaking. Hilarious. I never would have thought to team up in a double-flusher situation. I’ll have to mention it to T-Hubs. Then again, it could be dangerous… I don’t think he would share my message with the rest of the family, but you never know what that man might be thinking.

    Also, bars. Gooey, chocolatey, crunchy bars. I see Two Red Bowls mentioned wanting to see how many of these she could cram into her mouth at once, and to that I say, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Ima gonna go start cramming, now.

    • movita beaucoup February 28, 2014 at 6:51 am #

      Please send photos of your face cramming.

      Thanking you in advance,
      movita

  13. Allison (Spontaneous Tomato) February 27, 2014 at 1:44 pm #

    You always have the BEST stories (and the best ideas for how to incorporate marshmallows into dessert bars).

    That double flusher situation sounds like something Liz Lemon would have gotten herself into on 30 Rock. And I agree 100% about Kinfolk. (Ugh.)

    Also, those local newspaper crime reports reminded me SO much of the ones from my (women’s) college: “Suspicious male spotted outside of dorm. Update: It turned out it was just a female student of this college…”

    • movita beaucoup March 1, 2014 at 8:15 am #

      Remember when Liz gets caught on the toilet? DON’T OPEN THAT KITCHEN WINDOW!

      Money.

  14. Renee February 27, 2014 at 9:38 pm #

    Double flusher? You’re the best.

  15. katieatthekitchendoor February 27, 2014 at 11:54 pm #

    So exactly what I needed to read right now, suffering from mild froufy-hippie-blog envy. You’re right. It’s totally impractical to wear flower wreaths to every day events.

    • movita beaucoup February 28, 2014 at 6:52 am #

      Just to be clear – it’s impractical to wear them to ANY event. And think of the little bugs that would get in your hair… {shudder}

  16. Nancy @ gottagetbaked February 28, 2014 at 1:47 pm #

    Even though this isn’t my story to tell, I’m gonna share it anyways! The Husband’s cousin was driving home one night after a particularly filling meal and he felt the urge to poop. He couldn’t hold it in and it came flying out, while he was driving. He said the force was so strong, it actually traveled up the back of his shirt. Amazing. Now I need a pan of these bars to wipe the mental image out of my mind. They look fantastic! I’m loving the combo of ingredients you used for maximum deliciousness.

    • movita beaucoup March 1, 2014 at 8:04 am #

      I’m finding that story oddly comforting…

  17. jessieharrold February 28, 2014 at 11:02 pm #

    Oh shit (literally), you kill me. I have a great poop story involving a hedge, my left sock, my in-laws and a pulled muscle, and I may now be inspired to share that on my blog….stay tuned….

    • movita beaucoup March 1, 2014 at 8:05 am #

      People don’t give poop enough credit for bringing humanity together. ANYTHING can be worked out with a good poop story. BRING IT!

  18. Choc Chip Uru March 1, 2014 at 12:38 am #

    As far as family embarrassment goes I am the queen. I have been called fatty since I was born. By my entire family. In hindi. 😛

    But I feel for you, all that pressure on top of the pressure to poop…

    On a nicer note, I want these bars. In front of me to devour. I love them 😀

    Cheers
    Choc Chip Uru

    • movita beaucoup March 1, 2014 at 8:12 am #

      Ooooh! I want to start calling my sister names in Hindi!!! (We’re gunna need to talk…)

  19. Stephbo March 1, 2014 at 1:22 am #

    You are killing me with the double flusher! I laughed so hard my husband, who had headphones on and who is half-deaf anyway, heard me and wanted to know what was so funny. Since we both have the refined humor of 8 year-old boys, he laughed as hard as I did when I told him.

    And our local paper has a similar column, but ours usually says stuff like “Police were called to a home at thus-n-such address where the complaintant accused her friend, known only as ‘Peaches’ of stealing her weave. Peaches stated that she only did it it get back at the complaintant for defecating in her (Peaches’) front lawn the day before. Both were arrested for disturbing the peace. ” Very entertaining stuff.

    And those bars look positively sinful!!!

    • movita beaucoup March 1, 2014 at 8:13 am #

      I kinda want to start calling you Peaches now…

      • Stephbo March 2, 2014 at 12:29 am #

        Wouldn’t be the worst name I’ve been called. 😉

  20. Melissa@EyesBiggers March 1, 2014 at 2:36 pm #

    i am happy. A because… I have a love/hate relationship with Kinfolk (and Hearth and Cereal and all these other $20 magazines full of loveliness but non-realness). I feel very hipster when I pick one up in a little store that sells $90 salt shakers hand crafted in the wilds of British Columbia (they must be local, right?). But then I put it right back down because, who has $20 for a magazine with people with flower wreaths on their heads? So I’m glad I’m not the only one.

    Also I am happy because… all the photos are in the right place 🙂

    • movita beaucoup March 2, 2014 at 8:52 am #

      I KNEW you’d love the perfect photo placement! Not everyone can appreciate such things…

  21. Meg March 1, 2014 at 10:25 pm #

    Hahaha double flusher. That’s the best term ever. I love this. And your bars look delicious. Glad to have found a creative blogger through Instagram.

    • movita beaucoup March 2, 2014 at 8:54 am #

      I’m so glad to have found you too – and your awesome glasses! I have legit envy happening.

  22. consuelohoneyandfigs March 2, 2014 at 11:50 am #

    I’m so laughing out loud here hahaha you’re too funny. I love your stories girl!
    These bars look super delicious! How I’d love to have one of them in front of me right now ;–)

  23. whatjessicabakednext March 2, 2014 at 1:58 pm #

    These look delicious! Chocolate and marshmallows are a match made in heaven! 🙂

  24. Lily @ Life, Love, and Cupcakes March 4, 2014 at 2:32 pm #

    hahaha so glad I read this at work 😉
    And these look amazing!! Kind of remind me of Mississippi Mud Cake, but with coconut!

  25. Amy March 14, 2014 at 2:49 pm #

    Hahahaha, this post had me cracking up! I think perhaps posting a chocolate recipe to go along with that story was not the most appropriate thing…but oddly I still find them to look absolutely delicious. I’m pinning this recipe right now. I love all the layers in these!!!

  26. alicia @ bakeaholic March 16, 2014 at 5:16 pm #

    hahah! This is hilarious – love the texting. Also love the sex ed talk – too funny. I had a girl in high school pass out during a talk, but it involved showing large needles. Also, these bars look amazing. I love chocolate + marshmallow, because I LOVE s’mores, so these are a keeper.

  27. wendy@chezchloe March 20, 2014 at 9:52 pm #

    That was laugh out loud. I just did. alone in my store.
    I don’t want to think why these over the top layer bars reminded you of that story.
    With a raunchy jazz musician for a dad, I will never levitate above potty humor and hope the same for you.
    And those oat pancakes were pretty awesome despite their foray into “healthy”.
    cheers… wt

  28. movita beaucoup December 28, 2015 at 11:02 am #

    Comments on this post are now closed as it was published in February 2014. Thanks for stopping by!

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