Author Archive | movita beaucoup

ginger 2016 // movita beaucoup

ginger 2016

It’s time! Competitive gingering at its best/worst! If you would like to be a part of this absolutely horrendous annual online competition, please read these extensive guidelines: 1. Create a gingerbread house zoned residential, agricultural and/or commercial. Yes, you can glue stuff on. Yes, you can use a kit. Yes, you can use inedible add-ons. No, I […]

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domestic foul // movita beaucoup

domestic foul

When you live in a small town, everyone knows everyone’s business. I spent half my senior year grounded thanks to gossipy townsfolk, all too happy to tell my parents they’d seen my car at Brad Keddy’s house, when I was supposed to be at the library. And when my parents learned that Melanie Schofield threw a party when […]

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pumpkin carve-off 2016 // movita beaucoup

pumpkin carve-off 2016

This will be – hands down – the crappiest competition I have ever hosted. If you would like to be a part of this absolutely horrendous contest, please read the extensive guidelines below: 1. Carve a pumpkin. I don’t like rules, so as long as it involves some carving, even the smallest amount, I’m happy. Yes, you can glue stuff on. Yes, you can […]

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crap i've been meaning to tell you about // movita beaucoup

crap no. 26

Murder Couple has made up. The other night as they walked past my house, lady killer was fondling her man’s… giblets. My sister agrees that only a couple of serial killers would think it was appropriate to grope someone’s meat and potatoes in public. (2.0 remains unconvinced.) Speaking of murder, the other night when I was watching Forensic Files, […]

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birthday // movita beaucoup

birthday

Today we celebrated 2.0’s 45th birthday. He requested lasagna and a chocolate cake topped with boiled frosting to mark the occasion. We lit some candles and sang to our favourite fellow at the top of our lungs. After the smoke had cleared and we’d polished off second helpings, Rosie said, “I’m so glad I got all […]

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welcome to the sweatshop // movita beaucoup

welcome to the sweatshop

On a recent trip to the grocery store, my entrance was blocked by a group of fit humans promoting their gym. They were wearing expensive sneakers, matching tearaway pants, and jackets adorned with the gym’s logos. The clipboards they were holding made them look very official – like Mr. Harris, my sixth grade gym teacher. Kylie: Hi there! […]

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