Remember when peanuts didn’t kill people? I do. Because I could eat a peanut butter sandwich at work. But not now. Nope. Because I work with kids. And kids are different nowadays. They have allergies. And asthma. And environmental sensitivities. I’m not blaming the little crappers. I get that aliens have injected everything we eat with stuff that makes them weaker now.
Because I work with children, I also understand that they are now encouraged to express themselves. Loudly. And with their hands on their hips. They say no to a lot of stuff. I’ve also noticed that kids are now allowed to use staircases, hallways, restaurants and other public gathering areas as playgrounds and storage facilities. I know this because when I’m trying to get up and down the stairs at work, parents sigh when their children have to move their stuff so I don’t trip and die.
I want to fill my lunch bag with peanut butter cookies; these peanut butter cookies that are full of butter, nuts and chocolate. These peanut butter cookies that could, in copious quantities, stop your heart. These peanut butter cookies that melt in your mouth. But I can’t. I can’t take these cookies to work because the kids I come in contact with couldn’t handle them. A cookie like this could stop a kid in its tracks.
But maybe, if you’re middle aged like I am, you can handle peanuts. Maybe you can suck ’em back with no consequences. And maybe, because you’ve gone to great lengths to make your house perilous to children, you will leave heaping platefuls of these delightful cookies around your home.
Or maybe you will stand on your front lawn eating these cookies in front of the neighbourhood children yelling, “don’t come any closer! I’ve got peanuts!” And then watch them all scream and run away.
Of course that’s wishful thinking. It’s more likely that they’ll just leave their crap at the end of your driveway so you back over it with your car.
. . .
Want the recipe?
You can find the recipe for these cookies in this ebook: