crap i’ve been meaning to tell you about
. . .
Sometimes I have so much crap to tell you about that I just wanna explode. And it’s hard to work all that stuff into a post with a recipe for muffins. So, here’s some crap I’ve been meaning to tell you about. With no recipe.
Last week, I went to baking school to get fitted for my uniform. When I put the chef’s jacket on? I wanted to do my happy dance. I wanted to woot woot with delight. But because I was alone, and knew no one there, I just said, “yes, that should be fine,” in a very sophisticated way. But inside? Fan kicks and an epic freeze frame. Also, I got to try on my checkered pants. They are really a teeny-tiny gingham. But I guess they don’t call them that because the dudes in the culinary programs might get confused.
Did I tell you that I got a bite guard? I’ve had it for a few months now. It’s super duper sexy. Turns out that when you’re a little ball of neurosis, you really clench your face for like, 40 years. And then one day your super-awesome dentist is all: why don’t you get a bite guard? You know, since you’ve got some sort of prehistoric bone growth happening on your palate? So, you get one. And for the first time in decades, you stop getting face aches and start sleeping through the nite. Do you know how much smarter sleep makes you? It makes you WAY SMART. I love my bite guard. Even though it makes me drool a little. And should our house ever catch on fire, I’d rescue it first. Just kidding. I’d rescue the cats 2.0.
I’m way obsessed with Draw Something. Not as obsessed as I am with Bakery Story, but pretty obsessed nonetheless. I can’t draw, so it makes the game especially awesome. Also, it makes my fingers feel like GIANT fingers. Because it’s really hard to draw say, a hospital complete with helicopter and landing pad, with your humongous fingers on a tiny iPhone screen. I can’t tell you how glad I am I got an iPhone. It makes wasting time so much more convenient.
2.0 and I went to Ironwood Farm last week. Every time I go, I love it more. We got some of our hodge podge veggies there. Heatherjay and Rupert dug ’em right outta the ground for us. Also, I got to feed baby sheeps with bottles. It was one of the most exciting things I’ve ever done. I wish I were kidding. FYI, baby rams like to ram you. They’ll take their floofy heads and jam them right into your thigh. And they will try to eat your clothes. Also, going to a farm makes you feel like you are doing absolutely crap-all with your life. Because Heatherjay and Rupert will say things like: oh, you didn’t know we’re making our own prosciutto now? And then you feel stupid for not making some at your house too.
And finally, the other morning I woke up to niles (the cat) attempting to french kiss me. I have nothing more to say about that, so I’ll leave you with some photos from Ironwood Farm.
. . .
Hooray for the uniform! Great photos! I feel like a loser now because I don’t make my own prosciutto either. I can’t even get my stupid garden to grow anything remotely edible this year. Except figs, which is good because I could eat fresh figs until I explode or pass out – whichever comes first. But they would taste really good with homemade prosciutto. Sad now….
That was a roller coaster of emotions. Happy, sad, figs! Sad again…
I must rest now.
welcome to my world – ha ha! 🙂
I am very happy that you’re smarter now. ; )
The photos look idyllic. Is that place for real? I thought they made up stuff like that for movie sets.
Oh, it’s for real! And they get more done before 8 am than I do all day. Which is why I know it’s not a movie set… no standing around, no catering table…
At my college, we had to fill in a form with our measurements and then they sent our uniforms to us and when mine arrived I did not take it off for an entire day. I would have slept in it if my partner hadn’t gently persuaded me that perhaps that wasn’t a good idea. I loved it, even the shoes. Then when I started at college all the sixteen year old brats in my class were whining and whinging about how unflattering it was and how stupid it was that they had to wear a neck tie and expressed true horror at the idea of hairnets and that was the point at which I decided I was perfectly happy not to pretend to be young and cool because apparently it meant being whiny as well and I hate whining. That’s a lie, I whine about everything but, you know, I could have double standards because I was older than them and legitimately jaded.
You’ve just summed up everything I think about my new uniform! I can’t wait for it to arrive, and do plan to sleep in it. Why wouldn’t you? IT’S TOTALLY AWESOME! My brother used to do the same thing when he was a kid – I recall him sleeping in new rubber boots, and a new fighter fighter’s helmet – neither of which seem as comfortable as gingham pants.
Was the bite guard in when Niles tried to take advantage of you? Just wondering. For information purposes.
Yes! I WAS wearing the bite guard! Maybe he has some jaw stress as well? That would explain the up close and personal inspection…
That’s hysterical!
Baby sheeps are the best! I grew up on a hobby farm and one season, I had to wake up at 3am every night to bottle feed 2 lambs. I hated the waking up part but they lambs were super adorable and very happy to see me. Then I went back to bed until it was time to get up at 6am for school. In the afternoons, the sheeps would follow me around. I think they were confused about why their mom looked so different than the other sheeps in the pasture.
You are a woman after Heatherjay’s heart!
There couldn’t be anything more exciting than the first day of school.. and having a chef’s coat?? I can’t wait to read your new stories and recipes as you go through this wonderful new stage in your life!! ps love your little farm animal photos…
Well, I can’t wait to share it all with YOU!
(Also, sheep are very wiggly and refuse to pose for the camera…)
😀
Wow Movia. You always share the coolest crap! (and How I do love those foozy baby sheep!)
Thanks, Spree! Also… don’t tell Ironwood Farm, but I’m planning to steal a lamb! I’m going to let it sleep in my bed!
Once I got to pet some baby goats and if I had been struck down at that moment, I think I would have died fulfilled. They’re like puppies – soft and warm and they hop around and want to play with you.
Also – I am sorry I didn’t get to see while I was in Halifax! The good news is, I really liked it and plan to return soon. Seriously, if just for the croissants.
And lobster! You DID have lobster, right?
Wish I could have gone to the farm with you! One of the offspring has a guard for her front teeth (I never knew you could grind your front teeth) and she looks like a large rodent when she wears it. Just thought you’d like to know. (I’m in big trouble if she reads this!) anyway I’m happy to hear your guard is so attractive. Lucky you and lucky 2.0!
Okay, there’s a chance I look like a large rodent when wearing my bite guard…
Fabulous post all round my friend and none the worse for no recipe. All Movita all the time that’s what I say. Plus when you mentioned your checked chef pants I nearly wet myself with excitement, no lie. But that’s just between you and me.
Hurrah!
Oh man. I hope I don’t wet my checkered pants… add that to the worry list…
Dear movita,
I love how you always manage to make my life look more beautiful and idyllic than it actually is. Thanks for editing out all the crap (both literally and figuratively). If I am ever forced to write my autobiography, I’ll have to pay you to pen it!
My sweet black bottle lamb (to whom I am NOT getting attached, as he is a ram, and will be heading to market at some point) has now decided that he needs me to feed him his grain by hand, too…I didn’t think it was possible to get more spoiled than our not-so-happy-to-herd sheep dog…oh, well.
My plan is to bake a pie for 2.0 for the next time I make the trek to the city…just don’t tell him in case it doesn’t happen (he doesn’t read this blog, does he?). I figure once you start baking up a bread storm, he may not be so appreciative of my pies, so I gotta take the opportunity now to get some points built up.
Oh boy. If you make 2.0 a pie, he’ll probably want to move in with you. And then he’ll want pie ALL THE TIME. He’s like a sweet black bottle lamb in that way….
Aren’t sheep totally cute? Apart from those ones on the hill near my house, they look like woolly bull terriers and their bleeting sounds like a disgusting fart. Anyway, glad to hear you liked your uniform. Also, we should totally play each other at draw something. I just got an iPhone 4S (so good).
I love my iPhone about as much as I love my bite guard. Best. Things. Ever.
Loving your photos – thanks for sharing – Happy Monday:)
Thanks!!
Yah for smarter, drooling, gingham girls who need to make their own proscuitto.
Woot woot!
I’m so very excited for you and your new uniform and even your mouthguard, too. So much excitement!
PS – My cat tries to french kiss me all the time. She doesn’t understand why I get all squicked out by her perfectly acceptable display of affection.
PPS – You should totally be my Draw Something buddy. I am hilariously awful at it. My username is 1zzbell.
Oh my gosh! I am going to Draw Something right NOW!!
Those are YOUR jeans hanging on the back of the rocking chair, aren’t they? You took them off because a baby goat was trying to eat them. And you ran about Ironwood farm without pants on until 2.0 slapped you in the face with a bunch of carrots, didn’t you?
It’s all true. Except for the slapping bit – 2.0 would never treat food that way.
I am dying over the sheep!! SO darn adorable, i will never eat lamb again……. Ok, that’s a lie because Lamb is freakin delicious.
Anyway, REALLY EXCITED for you an culinary school! If any of those “youngin’s” give you any flak, tell them about this blog, and when they see it they will shamed into silence. HA!
Or STUNNED into silence…
Great post, funny, as always. Glad you got to the farm. Those lambs are so precious. I notice that hj is definitely not getting attached to the little ram lamb, much….he is a sweetheart.
Anyone who feeds her ram grain by hand is definitely hooked! We’re hoping to get back to Ironwood to pick some raspberries soon, and perhaps give dulsing a try!
You are talented. Photos and the ability to draw in a reader with bite guards and gingham. Not giving you too much credit for the lambs cause they are damn cute… well ok maybe the gorgeous photos brought out the best in them.
I’m wondering where my gingham pants are and if I can still fit in them. I think I will assume they are lost. Do you get a little white cap too? Get a soft cotton jacket. They are better than the stiff whites. Got your danskos? Actually we had white shoes too… like nurses.
Your getting there!
I do get a white cap! And red neckerchiefs! And aprons and a fancy tool kit. Oh, and I’m getting my shoes this week. Black clogs with steel toes! I’m assuming, of course, that nothing will fit me by the end of first term…
Movita,
You make me want to be Canadian. and in baking school. with sheep I’m stuck here in the American Deep South with access to none of those lovely things. I do however have a KFC and dirty mean oppossums galore. Not the same. not the same at all…
With sheep. Apparently I don’t have access to proper punctuation or proofreading skills either
Well, you could just move here! Claim refugee status – grounds? Uh… heat and KFC? Are those considered dangerous? Is there any chance you’re being discriminated against? For your love of sheep?
Heat = yucky, KFC = lots of saturated and trans fats so yes on both counts. I am slowly indoctrinating my step children into my love of sheep so maybe soon we’ll have enough votes to convice the hubs to pack up for a trek further north…
I think we’d like a photo of you in your new uniform. 🙂
I’m definitely getting a bite guard if it will make me smarter. Do you have suggestions on making me younger and more attractive too?
Well, I think I bite guard could help with that. And also? A baking uniform! I feel younger already…
(Actually, I don’t have my uniform yet. We don’t get them until September. And we get a fancy backpack filled with our culinary tools!)
I have chewed through something like five or six night guards (bite guards, that is, not gun-toting men watching over important bank vaults). I finally got the heavy-dutiest one possible, but after I was in a car crash and sort of stressy I bit through that one too. And it cracked into pieces.
The current one has lasted for three years. I hope it lasts, since I no longer have insurance (something about too many chewed-up security guards, I guess).
I must say, I DO have little chopping marks developing on the underside of my bite guard. At first I was all: no… no way! It’s too hard to make indentations. But alas, now I know you can actually DESTROY a bite guard with your crazy ass clenching. You’re the freakin’ Queen of Bite!
(Hey… is there any chance you’re some sort of superhero? Maybe this is your special power!)
100% chance. Like a speeding bullet, I can bite through unbiteable plastic!
Nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah BITE GIRL.
love the pictures of the farm. Sometimes I spend so much time taking inside pictures of food that I forget how nice it is to take outside pictures!
And, there’s no propping involved. Lambs REFUSE to be propped.
I wish I was there for your fitting…:-)
Then you could have done a freeze frame with me!
I am doing it now, I’m doing it now… lol
Oh my gosh those sheep are so cuuuuuute!!!
Also, I LOVE Draw Something. Add me!!! Hmm, I’m not sure how you’d find me. I think you have to do it thru facebook?
oh, my username is omgpop69076244! Add me! 🙂
Prepare to be DAZZLED! (Or whatever the opposite of dazzled is…)
Yay for your uniform! I don’t now how you contained your excitement; I have an extremely hard time doing so and, most of the time, I don’t contain it and people look at me like I’m a weirdo. I’m getting used to it.
Now I want a sheep for a pet.
Yes, you should have a sheep. It could protect you from stuff. And it could sleep in your bed, which would keep you warm in the winter. Also, sheep bounce around when they get excited. WHICH IS AWESOME.
i have a mad urge to go and pet some sheep. really all the time, but especially right now after reading this. Also, i may need to go get gingham pants (and you’re right: dudes are NOT familiar with the term “gingham.”)
this was fun, even without a recipe. like chatting on the phone, really. or texting for a long, long time on our iphones.
Clearly you should have gingham pants for your own baking adventures. Because I doubt future croissants will turn out without the magic of gingham. I’m pretty sure that’s the first thing they teach you in baking school…