on love and acceptance

i love you with all my butt | movita beaucoup

I knew 2.0 was the guy for me the very first time we met. And when, on our second date, I drooled on my pants and he didn’t bat an eye, I was quite sure he liked me too. But I knew he loved me when he didn’t break up with me after I sleep farted on his thigh.

Truth: you can’t hold your gaz de l’air doux* in forever. Four months of politeness? Good grief. That just makes it aggressive, and you’ve gotta sleep sometime. Sleeping whilst cradled in the arms of the man you love? Perfect storm. In that relaxed state, it’s like releasing the Kraken. All of ’em. At the same time.

There will be confusion. (What was that? Is someone in the apartment? That was YOU? MY LEG! MY GOD, MY LEG!) But also, acceptance.

Happy Valentine’s Day, 2.0. I love you with all my butt.

.

*sweet love gas

17 Comments

  1. Liz on February 14, 2015 at 10:49 am

    So funny! Happy Valentine’s to you and your family.

  2. sublimedelights on February 14, 2015 at 11:00 am

    That is TRUE LOVE! Very sweet indeed

  3. Stacy on February 14, 2015 at 11:09 am

    If that doesn’t make him weep in gratitude, then I just don’t know. I just don’t.

  4. thatskinnychickcanbake on February 14, 2015 at 11:27 am

    Happy Valentine’s Day to you both <3 ❥

  5. ibreatheimhungry on February 14, 2015 at 11:51 am

    THAT TAG was the best part of this awesome post! ha ha! I let one ride on Mr. Hungry’s leg while we were in the pool on our honeymoon. He still claims to have a limp 21 years later…

  6. Lynne on February 14, 2015 at 12:11 pm

    Best Valentine story. Ever.

  7. Monica K on February 14, 2015 at 12:33 pm

    True love is accepting bodily odors from your loved one. That rings true in my household.

  8. natalie @ wee eats on February 14, 2015 at 12:54 pm

    hahahhaahhaa – that really is true love – happy valentine’s day to both of you!

  9. nancy @ gottagetbaked on February 14, 2015 at 3:11 pm

    Now, this is a true love story for the ages. I do all kinds of disgusting things in front of the Husband (pick my nose, fart, belch loudly, etc) and he’s still here. It drives me bat sh*t crazy when I watch tv shows/movies where the women are like “I can’t poo in the same house as my man!” Have fun with your constipation from holding it in, ladies! Happy Valentines to you and 2.0! He’s a lucky lucky man!

  10. wendy@chezchloe on February 14, 2015 at 3:35 pm

    At least it was dry.
    Have a happy unconditionally loving day:)

  11. Sharon | Cheesy Pennies on February 14, 2015 at 6:34 pm

    True love is letting you share this story on the interwebs. He is now a marked man, in more ways than one. Happy day to you both!

  12. Karen @ Karen's Kitchen Stories on February 14, 2015 at 7:22 pm

    Awww! So sweet =)

  13. Rachel (Rachel's Kitchen NZ) on February 14, 2015 at 7:28 pm

    Oh, goodness, you make me laugh – Movita:) This so funny because the book I have just started reading mentioned the very same thing – in fact when I read this it was like – haven’t I read this before:)

  14. karen on February 14, 2015 at 7:59 pm

    My your farts be with you in love forever! Happy Valentine’s Day! We all love your stories!

  15. Maureen | Orgasmic Chef on February 15, 2015 at 4:57 am

    I knew there would be a fart post coming up but I didn’t figure it would be for Valentine’s Day. On a more serious note, I LOVE to be around people who love each other. Normally I don’t know what their farting habits are but that wouldn’t matter. Being with people who respect and love each other is just such a wonderful privilege.

  16. imqtpi on February 15, 2015 at 9:39 pm

    That was – by far – the most poetic soliloquy I’ve ever read for Valentines Day. You really ought to consider a career with Hallmark!

  17. shannon on February 17, 2015 at 3:39 pm

    …and i love YOU with all MY butt.

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