Speaking of horrible couples, I made a birthday cake for Mr. Rutherford on the weekend. I was feeling pretty bad about making a cake for one of my enemies, but then I almost stepped on a dead mouse in the studio the other night and Mr. Rutherford disposed of its body for me. As a result, I will pretend to think The Rutherfords are decent people for 72 hours. (Because that’s how long it will take the for the smell of decomposing rodent to fade from the studio.)
Dorey has no desire to leave her basement apartment. I’ve been trying to lure her out with food but she eats it and then scampers back down to her private quarters. Of course, 2.0 bought her a massive cat condo (now the largest and most expensive piece of furniture we own), so I can’t really blame her for hunkering down.
Recent arguments with 2.0:
- I say: hindsight is 20/20, 2.0 insists the expression should be: eyesight is 20/20
- I say: six of one, half dozen of the other, 2.0 insists the expression would be better as: six to one, half dozen to the other
- as in the past, after the time change earlier this month 2.0 asked, “But what is the REAL time?” for two goddamned days
- when to fill the car with gas
- who is loading the new dishwasher correctly
- who Niles likes best
Last night when I arrived home after teaching, 2.0 met me at the door with a frown on his face.
2.0: You put the frosting in the same container as the cat food.
movita: What? (taking off my coat) The same container? How tired was I?
2.0: No, not in the same container. The SAME container.
movita: Okay, honey? I’ve been working with teenagers all night. I’m going to need you to be a little less angst-filled. What happened? I mixed cat food into your frosting?
2.0: No. YOU PUT THE LEFTOVER ICING IN A CONTAINER THAT LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE THE ONE YOU PUT THE CAT FOOD IN.
2.0: And? AND?! I almost ate it!
movita: The cat food?
movita: Did you eat the cat food? It’s okay – you can tell me.
2.0: No. But I had a big spoonful lifted up to my mouth before I realized it wasn’t frosting. I ALMOST ATE CAT FOOD!
movita: Weren’t you just complaining that we spend too much money on cat food?
movita: I’m just saying that if you’re going to start eating cat food, we’ll have to start buying in bulk.
2.0: I feel like you aren’t taking this very seriously.
movita: Have you had dinner yet? Do you want me to make you something? Or did you fill up on Fancy Feast?