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crap no. 47

dorey // movita beaucoup

Since losing Niles, we’ve been slathering Dorey with extra attention. She has been feeling a little low these days, so I told 2.0 to say something supportive and reassuring to her. He walked to her, cupped her face in his hands and gently said, “You have a lot of fur.” Dorey looked at me as if to say: okay, I think we’re done here.

A couple of days after losing Niles I received a comic in the mail from my cousin Alana. I had forgotten how nice it is to get a note delivered in non-internet fashion. It was a perfectly timed Garfield comic and was one of the nicest parts of that week. Family: they’re the best.

comic relief // movita beaucoup

Speaking of family, my mother has been arguing with my sister about the proper way to celebrate birthdays, and I had to read about 75 emails on the topic. Yesterday my mother told my sister and me to get shingles vaccines, but I told her they don’t generally recommend those to people until they hit 50 years old. This meant a few more emails had to be exchanged on the topic WHICH HONESTLY MOTHER I DON’T HAVE TIME FOR BECAUSE I’M TRYING TO CONVINCE 2.0 TO BUY ME A NEW CAR AND INTERNET CAR SHOPPING IS VERY TIME CONSUMING. Naturally, my mother didn’t believe me and asked a nurse who was giving her an old-person vaccine later that day. The nurse confirmed that the shingles vaccine gets administered at 50+ and then my mother emailed me with this information as if I hadn’t said the exact same thing two hours earlier. So yes, I’ve started searching for nursing home options in Florida.

2.0 got me some flashing arm bands for Christmas because many of the drivers in our neighbourhood seem to be actively seeking out pedestrians with their cars. The hope is that I will be more visible, and actually now that I’m typing this I’m wondering what his true intentions were…

I’ve stopped looking for cool things on the webernets (other than cars, vaccines, and nursing homes) because my sister finds it all and then sends me the links. Case in point:

It’s March Break here, so no teaching this week. I’ve picked five recipes to bake and if 2.0 says a single thing about the grocery bill I will murder him. This is because last week he found a notebook in which he had tracked my baking for an entire year. He did this so he would have statistics to back up his arguments when he feels I’m not baking enough for him. And yes, he was kind enough to point out that I am going to have to do a lot of work this month to catch up to my 2013 stats.

lemon scones // movita beaucoup

The other morning – at about 5:45 am – 2.0 emerged from the en suite bathroom with two toothbrushes and said, “I’m having a bit of a block here. Which toothbrush is mine?” This is a very concerning question before the sun has come up, but I remained calm and said, “The blue one,” even though I was thinking: I need to get a new toothbrush immediately.

‘Tis the season for bugs to awaken and start moving around our house. Four spiders have emerged this week. Where were they hiding all winter? And where are the rest of their friends? Thus it is also the season for this:

The other day I texted 2.0 a picture of our car tire which seemed to be very low on air. I told him that I was worried about driving on the highway and he texted back: you should be fine. You SHOULD be fine? What is it like, I wonder? Not to worry about fiery car crashes? I was late getting home from work that night and when I walked through the door he said, “Honey! I was so worried about you! I thought maybe you’d had an accident because of the tire. I was starting to think you were laying on a road somewhere!”

“And yet,” I pointed out, “you are here in the kitchen with Dorey eating a snack and not looking for my body.”

“Well,” he said, “I was pretty hungry. And this snack didn’t prepare itself.”

movita's living room // movita beaucoup

This week 2.0 and I have been participating in a survey which helps to establish ratings for television shows. We have to record everything we watch, when we watch it, and how (cable, Netflix, whatever). So, when more amazing shows like Schitt’s Creek and Cardinal start appearing on your televisions next year you can send me a thank you note. Seriously. This survey has been very time consuming. You owe me.

Reading through this post I realize that it’s almost entirely about 2.0 and now I’m thinking I need to get out more.

19 Comments

  1. Karen on March 20, 2019 at 11:06 am

    I’m thinking the same thing…get out. New toothbrush, spiders, …you have it made! Even your sister does your internet research. 2.0, did you ever wonder why he cooked that whole weekend? I need to get out more!

    • movita beaucoup on March 20, 2019 at 11:22 am

      😂

  2. Lan | MoreStomach Blog on March 20, 2019 at 12:33 pm

    your cousin Alana’s handwriting is beautiful.

    • movita beaucoup on March 21, 2019 at 6:20 am

      Right? Mine looks like someone re-learning how to write after a horrible accident…

  3. Ellen on March 20, 2019 at 5:19 pm

    I love Schitt’s Creek! You’re the only other person who’s ever mentioned it. I binge watched the whole thing while recovering from surgery.

    • movita beaucoup on March 21, 2019 at 6:21 am

      Quintessential Canadian comedy!!

  4. JC on March 20, 2019 at 7:56 pm

    My husband says the same exact thing-it is the should part that is problematic-either it is going to be fine or it is not-drives me nuts.

    • movita beaucoup on March 21, 2019 at 6:22 am

      ‘Should’ leaves far too many available options for me!

  5. Mariette on March 20, 2019 at 8:27 pm

    Next time I’ll give you an extra toothbrush that you can stay away for exactly moments like these!

    • Joan on March 20, 2019 at 9:29 pm

      The pic of the dog turtle neck sweater down to the feet. I am still laughing 😂

    • movita beaucoup on March 20, 2019 at 10:27 pm

      2.0’s family is visiting and this cracked us up!! Thanks, Doc!

  6. Karen on March 21, 2019 at 12:18 am

    As a person old enough to have had a shingles vaccine, and now being told that the one I had is totally out of date and I need a new one, for which by the way, there’s a shortage and I’m on a four month waiting list and fearing for my life, I say…. I forget what I was going to say. Send me to Florida.

    • movita beaucoup on March 21, 2019 at 6:23 am

      I’ll set you and Rosie up with a very comfortable set of recliners and blankets to keep you warm. Keep the doors locked – I don’t want any people with shingles getting near you two.

  7. Liz on March 21, 2019 at 6:25 am

    After this winter, I’m thinking a nursing home in FL sounds pretty good! My husband worries that I’m using his toothbrush, so maybe it’s time!!!

    • movita beaucoup on March 21, 2019 at 6:53 am

      I note that you don’t deny using your husband’s toothbrush…

  8. Mike on March 21, 2019 at 8:16 am

    Has 2.0 recently taken out or increased the value of a life assurance policy on you? If so, be afraid, be very afraid.

    • movita beaucoup on March 22, 2019 at 11:20 am

      Apparently I’m worth far more severely injured or dead. This could be problematic…

  9. Monica Kocon on March 21, 2019 at 2:07 pm

    Oh! I love Schitt’s Creek. I finished watching Season 4 last night. I’m debating about whether to pay Prime to see Season 5 or wait for it to be released on Netflix. Maybe I can wait…in two weeks the new season of The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina gets released. My daughter got me hooked on that. Then there will be the season finale of Game of Thrones.

    • movita beaucoup on March 22, 2019 at 11:21 am

      I’m lucky here because I can watch Season 5 as it unfolds. Apparently Schitt’s Creek is only going to do one more season so savour it while you can!

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