ginger 2019: group 1

We live in daunting times, my little angel muffins. Poverty, oppression, discrimination, vaping. It’s why you might find some competitive gingering comforting. There is no inequality here. No! I will treat each and every competitor like rubbish! So gather ’round sweet moppets! Let the magic that is Ginger 2019 wrap you in its straight-from-the-oven warmth. 

---

AMANDA’S MASSIE HERITAGE CENTER

Amanda writes:

Every year I create a gingerbread house (building) influenced by Savannah, it goes on display at the Massie Heritage Center. This year I had the brilliant idea to create the Massie. A lot of thought (swearing) went into this piece because I had the great idea to shorten everything by 1/8” except two walls. 

Uh-oh, I know foreshadowing when I read it. And on a gingercational note: the actual, non-ginger Massie Heritage Center is a Greek Revival schoolhouse. People can visit the centre to see what school was like in the 1800s. And I’m gunna bet that none of the teachers at Massie would have recommended leaving two walls a different length than the others.

I wonder if Amanda ever finds herself in a shoe store saying, “What? You can’t find the mate for this? Okay, I’ll just take the left boot in a 1/2 size too big.”

After sanding, filing and sawing the hard-tac like walls I was finally able to get it together. Several burns from hot sugar, patience and prayers held it together. I did try to make it pretty by using gingerbread paste (my piping skills are horrendous) and molding chocolate. The bricks and sidewalks are gum paste, colored with food coloring. The bushes are gingerbread covered in oregano. The windows are rice paper (think spring rolls wraps) and the flags are also spring roll wraps with food coloring adhered to spaghetti. The railing was also spaghetti painted with food coloring.  It survived transport (2 construction zones and some god awful railroad tracks). It is on display for all to see. Next year I am going to take it down a notch (simple, won’t throw your back out when you lift it).

Look at that ginger masterpiece! An impressive structure – sturdy and probably held together by tears. Any baker who has transported a sugary creation knows just how perilous construction zones and railway tracks are. #gingersweats

When I think of Savannah I think of Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil and I imagine people walking around in tuxedos saying stuff like, “Hey, who killed that prostitute?”

Can any of you Americans let me know if this is an accurate assumption? Amanda? Does this happen often in Savannah?

I actually like Ginger Massie more than real Massie. Ginger Massie has deep, molasses colouring and a lovely texture. Ginger Massie has character – the red roof, the perfect little flags, the oregano shrubbery! Ginger Massie has two walls that are (possibly) longer than the others!

This ginger jewel makes me want to fly down to Savannah, scarf down some fried green tomatoes and then munch on some molding chocolate from Ginger Massie. Of course, then I’d pass out on the gum paste sidewalk and a passing tourist would snap a photo of me and holler, “Hey! Who killed this prostitute?”

---

SHARON’S FIREHOUSE

Sharon writes:

This is my Gingerbread piece for 2019. It is a replica of an old firehouse I took a picture of back in the summer while visiting Canada. The original sits on the corner of John St and Broadway in Orangeville, Ontario. I took it back in time and added the horse drawn fire truck at the ready. 

When Sharon’s entry landed in my inbox I emailed her to say, “I can’t believe you took a picture and then thought: hey, I’ll just build this out of gingerbread.”

Then Ginger competitor Sarah – Sharon’s daughter – wrote me to say:

*Technically* she saw a building, thought “I can build this out of gingerbread,” THEN took the picture. Very different process.

Good grief! Know what I think when I see an old building? I wonder how many people died there…

According to the internets: this Old Fire Hall was constructed by the town to replace the former fire hall after it was destroyed by fire. A fire that was deliberately set. TWICE. The first attempt to take the (wooden) firehouse down was in the spring of 1890 – smoke was seen coming from the hall and the flames were extinguished before any real damage was done. Then two weeks later the arsonist was all: BE BEST! And “coal oil was spread around the base of the hall’s bell tower and set ablaze. Within minutes, the entire building was engulfed in flames.”

Which is why the new firehall was built out of bricks.

I can’t think of a single arsonist that would want to burn Sharon’s firehouse down. First off, it would be a very sticky situation. Second, horses bite.

Holy smoke! Take a look at that masterpiece! Adorable bricks which I assume took 4.7 million hours to craft. Delightful wreaths! Impeccable little windows and doors! Classic, old-timey feel complimented by picture-perfect landscaping. This entry brings the heat! Burning question, Sharon: will you take the time to enjoy your 15 minutes of flame?

---

VANDA’S CHURCH

Vanda writes:

Built with individual baked ginger “bricks.” Is a scaled down version of a church here in St Louis MO. Little things that represent me. Bridal party for my side job. Little bird for favorite Christmas song. And clock set to the approximate time I done working everyday.

Okay, the first thing I’d like to say is: HOLY CRAP. The second thing I’d like to say/ask is: how scaled down is this creation? Because it looks to be actual church-sized.

Vanda, I’m not gunna lie: I’m a little confused about your side job. Your written details aren’t particularly detailed. Just. Little. Nuggets. Are you hiring yourself out as a bridesmaid for people who don’t have friends or have disowned their families? Do you throw bridal showers for people who hate the idea of planning bridal parties as much as I do?

This possibly-not-very-scaled-down church is a ginger-architectural feat! It’s so big! And SHINY! I bet eating it would be a religious experience (and not just because it would probably break your teeth). The figurines look like something out of a children’s holiday movie, the detailing is heavenly, and the majesty of the whole thing is truly ginspirational.

Let us pray: Eternal Gingerbread Spirit, ruler in the Ginger heavens, I come to you in my time of hunger. Guide my soul so I may feed others. Exalt me with your eternal flavour.

---

SUSAN’S THE PRECIPICE

Susan writes:

You’re kind of scary, so I’m hoping to get all of the information you need correct! 

GODDAMMIT, SUSAN.

My creation is pretty much all gingerbread: siding, internal supports, stones in stream and around porch. The boulders are ginger clay. The people are gumpaste. Windows and stream are isomalt. Bushes are dehydrated broccoli. Porch is spaghetti, gingerbread and gumpaste.  Shingles are ginger clay. The entire piece is 100% edible (except for the board it sits on).

I love entries like this. “Hey movita, all I used was some butter, sugar, flour, molasses, baking powder, dried-up broccoli and spaghetti. You know, just your usual dessert ingredients.”

I don’t really have a creative process! The house is based off of the painting Precipice by Daniel Merriam. Go ahead and say it “I have no life outside of gingerbread”!

Susan, you have no life outside of gingerbread.

Let’s get gingercational! According to the internets, Daniel Merriam “is a ‘fantastical’ painter” which I assume refers to the fact that he is very handsome and most of us believe attractive artists are only a fantasy.

Ah, what a perfect life we would have, Daniel and I, in our gingerhouse perched on that precipice. Nothing adds excitement to a relationship like a house that could at any time collapse into the cliff it straddles. We’d drink our morning coffee on the wraparound porch as we watch people walking by, pointing at the perfect wrought-iron rails on our roof, our adorable window boxes, the exquisite attention to detailing thanks to our dedicated ginger architect, Susan.

And then those goddamn tourists would make themselves at home on our lawn, resting on our candy rocks, dipping their toes in our sugary stream.

“What the hell?” I’d say. “Do these people think our property has been constructed their personal enjoyment?”

“Don’t worry,” my darling Daniel would reply, “I’ll send the cat out to eat their hair.”

---

PAT’S JUSTICE SO SWEET

Pat writes:

OK, you asked for it so here it is. This is probably the best gingerbread house you’ll ever see in your life. Sorry, my modesty is at the cleaners. It’s one house, two sides. I know you‘ll want to see more detailed photos but you said only two and I stick to the rules.

Next year I’m going to make a rule about bragging.

Hanzel and Gretel were off delivering packages for Amazon so in their absence Child Welfare, the Tax Collector, and Code enforcement along with the Grim Reaper paid a visit to the witch to serve her justice so sweet. The Grim Reaper doesn’t show in this photo so if you want to see him you’ll have to beg. And even then I’ll have to think about it but I’ll probably relent. I like to show him off. He likes to show off.

… my entry is 100% completely edible. There’s no hot glue, no toothpicks, no chopsticks, no balsa wood, no cardboard. Ok surely you get it now. Also, please note that I do not put two spaces after a sentence.

This entry is like two entries in one! The light side and the dark side. The good side and the evil side. The sugary sweet side (Instagram) and the reality (the 423 shots you took before you got one good enough to put on Instagram).

Look at that ginger beast! This is the sort of gingering that could keep a roomful of annoying children busy for hours. So much to look at! So much to rub your dirty, germ-ridden fingers over! The contrast between the two sides is incredible. The details! The lollipop garden, the perfectly adorned roof, the cage, the caldron!

Can’t you just hear the cries of the witch as she is (probably) taken away. “Lock her up!” the neighbours will shout. And the witch will gesture her disgusting fingers wildly in the air and shout, “I’ve been doing a tremendous job! Hanzel and Gretel are fine. They LIKE their cage! They don’t miss their parents at all! I DID NOTHING WRONG! You’ve been after me for three years now. It’s a terrible thing. A hoax! Fake news! Sad. ATROCIOUS LIES! A witch hunt! Make Ginger great again! Make Ginger great again!” 

---

Help determine the winner of the 2019 People’s Choice Prize:

CAST YOUR VOTE BELOW!

Repeat voters are blocked by cookie.
Polls close at about 8 AM AST, Monday, December 23, 2019.