Posts by movita beaucoup

crap no. 38

crap i've been meaning to tell you about // movita beaucoup

I solved the Golden State Killer case 6 months ago and have received zero credit for the recent arrest of that seriously shady character. I KNEW IT WAS A COP.  8573 episodes of Forensic Files finally paid off. None of my neighbours bothered to alert me when the K-9 unit was in my yard looking…

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bucket list

bucket list // movita beaucoup

Back when I started blogging (2007), I kept a bucket list in my sidebar. I figured I’d be more motivated to cross things off the list if the internet trolls were keeping track of my accomplishments failures. When I started this blog in 2010, I forgot about the list. When I came across it last…

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crap no. 37

crap i've been meaning to tell you about // movita beaucoup

I recently finished watching Seven Seconds on Netflix and it’s the best show I’ve seen in ages. I yelled at my television a lot (WHAT? NOOOOOOO!) and did some crying (the blubbering kind). Apparently there won’t be a second season because people are idiots. Since writing about the time I almost pooped my pants on…

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poop on deck: a captain’s log

poop on deck: a captain's log // movita beaucoup

  ALL IS WELL. UNTIL IT ISN’T.   6:50 pm: Ten steps from the restaurant I feel a violent shift in my gut. The thirteen-block walk to my car seems manageable despite the uneasiness growing in my pelvic region, so I begin my trek.  6:51 pm: With each step comes more discomfort; a beastly churning rises…

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petite merde no. 4: identity crisis

petite merde // movita beaucoup

A former student – now colleague and pal – has been a constant source of hilarity and forehead slapping for many years. I like to take credit for her good looks and brilliant sense of humour. I take absolutely no credit for her abilities as an eye witness and/or trust in humanity. A Facebook Messenger…

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good for you

good for you // movita beaucoup

A few days ago, 2.0 announced that we were to start dieting. Twenty-seven of you thought it was a brilliant idea, and my mother sent me an email about eating vegetables. Sometimes I watch people frolicking in the out-of-doors from my kitchen window as I eat cookies over the kitchen sink. Some of those people are running.…

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double-dealing

double-dealing // movita beaucoup

A few years ago, 2.0 and I went out to by a vacuum cleaner and bought a car instead. 2.0 likes to tell stories. I call them stories, because calling him a liar makes me sound mean. One of 2.0’s favourite stories involves saying that he’s going out to run errands, and also: to buy…

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crap no. 36

crap i've been meaning to tell you about // movita beaucoup

I know I haven’t been around here much lately, but I’ve been super busy trying to earn the respect of a local school-yard gang, so… it’s been a lot of late nights. A couple living in the basement apartment across the street from us spends a good portion of their days and evenings chain smoking…

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ballet bingo

I made you something. It’s a little game to augment your experience the next time you attend a ballet performance. It could also be useful when you’re forced to sit through one of those four-hour dance recitals that your kid is in. (God help us all.) Click here to download your Ballet Bingo sheet.

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