Posts by movita beaucoup

things that suck – incomplete, unranked, not definitive

things that suck // movita beaucoup

Leaf blowers Earwigs Crumbs in butter Banana scented things MMA fighting – actually, any fighting done in bare feet and/or involving body parts slapping against one another Leeches Cardboard egg cartons Elastic cuffed jogging pants paired with white socks and shower shoes Those really loud cars and motorcycles Eggnog Baby strollers Bathing suits Wooden spoons…

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petite merde no. 5

petite merde // movita beaucoup

We celebrated Canada Day yesterday. It’s like July 4th for you Americans but with ketchup chips. Years ago I lived in an apartment in the north end of Halifax and could watch the city’s Canada Day fireworks from my balcony. It was also a good vantage point for enjoying dudes being dudes. On this particular holiday it started with my neighbour, moved to whistle…

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crap no. 40

crap i've been meaning to tell you about // movita beaucoup

Greetings from my almost-death bed. I’ve had a neck injury shituation and things have been a little rough around here. It mostly hurts when I walk, breathe, sleep, sit and stand. I don’t want to say it has been making me overly emotional but… Last week I heard a bird crash into our living room…

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crap no. 39

crap i've been meaning to tell you about // movita beaucoup

I haven’t been able to drink anything peach flavoured since 1990 because one weekend I polished off an impressively large bottle of Dr. McGillicud­dy’s Peach Schnapps and… well, you know how that goes. Guys? I don’t think Dr. McGillicuddy was a legit doctor. Niles the Cat had an eye infection (yes, most of my life…

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crap no. 38

crap i've been meaning to tell you about // movita beaucoup

I solved the Golden State Killer case 6 months ago and have received zero credit for the recent arrest of that seriously shady character. I KNEW IT WAS A COP.  8573 episodes of Forensic Files finally paid off. None of my neighbours bothered to alert me when the K-9 unit was in my yard looking…

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bucket list

bucket list // movita beaucoup

Back when I started blogging (2007), I kept a bucket list in my sidebar. I figured I’d be more motivated to cross things off the list if the internet trolls were keeping track of my accomplishments failures. When I started this blog in 2010, I forgot about the list. When I came across it last…

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crap no. 37

crap i've been meaning to tell you about // movita beaucoup

I recently finished watching Seven Seconds on Netflix and it’s the best show I’ve seen in ages. I yelled at my television a lot (WHAT? NOOOOOOO!) and did some crying (the blubbering kind). Apparently there won’t be a second season because people are idiots. Since writing about the time I almost pooped my pants on…

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poop on deck: a captain’s log

poop on deck: a captain's log // movita beaucoup

  ALL IS WELL. UNTIL IT ISN’T.   6:50 pm: Ten steps from the restaurant I feel a violent shift in my gut. The thirteen-block walk to my car seems manageable despite the uneasiness growing in my pelvic region, so I begin my trek.  6:51 pm: With each step comes more discomfort; a beastly churning rises…

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petite merde no. 4: identity crisis

petite merde // movita beaucoup

A former student – now colleague and pal – has been a constant source of hilarity and forehead slapping for many years. I like to take credit for her good looks and brilliant sense of humour. I take absolutely no credit for her abilities as an eye witness and/or trust in humanity. A Facebook Messenger…

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