2.0
BETA-ING MY MODE SINCE 2008
petite merde no. 6
Yesterday 2.0 hollered from the basement and told me to, “Turn on the news. Hurry!” I immediately turned the television to a national news network. I watched a COVID-19 press conference for 45 minutes. Absolutely nothing new was announced. When the update ended I met 2.0 in the kitchen. movita: I watched the news conference…
Read Morecrap no. 56
HEY! My homeland (Nova Scotia) has just declared a state of emergency and I’m quite sure that I’m not supposed to be sitting next to my window or using my computer but I thought you might NEED me and my run-on sentences right now so here I am. The world feels upside down and 2.0…
Read Morecrap no. 55
Sup, homies? Happy belated New Year. Like, really belated. Where have I been? Mostly running errands, but sometimes at work or in bed watching Netflix. You know, the stuff most successful people do. So let’s get you all caught up. I think you’ll be pleased to learn that I still really like run-on sentences and…
Read Morecrap no. 47
Since losing Niles, we’ve been slathering Dorey with extra attention. She has been feeling a little low these days, so I told 2.0 to say something supportive and reassuring to her. He walked to her, cupped her face in his hands and gently said, “You have a lot of fur.” Dorey looked at me as…
Read Morecrap no. 41
Halifax is caught up in a humidity vortex and MY GOD IT’S LIKE HAVING YOUR FACE STUCK IN AN ARMPIT 24/7. I’m sticky, wet, and my house smells like a medieval mortuary. My parents, Bill and Rosie Beaucoup, have been married for about 95 years. When you’ve been a pair for that long your names…
Read Moredouble-dealing
A few years ago, 2.0 and I went out to by a vacuum cleaner and bought a car instead. 2.0 likes to tell stories. I call them stories, because calling him a liar makes me sound mean. One of 2.0’s favourite stories involves saying that he’s going out to run errands, and also: to buy…
Read Morematchmaker, matchmaker
Several years ago, 2.0 presented me with a golf club and claimed it was an anniversary gift. It was not. (I don’t golf.) My sister, Haddy, was visiting at the time, and told him it was the most thoughtful anniversary gift she’d ever seen. It was not. (She just likes to side with 2.0.) So,…
Read Morei ❤️ 2.0
I met 2.0 on September 11, 2008. That’s nine years of 2.0 being 2.0 to enjoy. Let’s look back on just a few of my favourite moments with him, shall we? 2.0: Our neighbours have been asking if we’re Jewish. movita: What? 2.0: OUR NEIGHBOURS ASKED IF WE ARE JEWISH. movita: Yah, I heard you, I’m…
Read Moreebony is lying in a bowl of water
Back in 2008, I was just getting to know 2.0, and hadn’t yet realized that conversations like this would become a significant part of my everyday life. 2.0 and Ebony the Cat were traveling home to visit family for the holidays when he called for my assistance on a wee matter. The phone rings: movita: Hello? 2.0: Hey!…
Read Moreclose call
Saturday, 4:15 pm: I return from work to find our garden gate flung open. The gate was not open when I left that morning. I check the yard and then enter the house cautiously. 4:45 pm: Our landline is not working. I unplug and re-plug all the phones in the house, but despite my technical savvy, the phones…
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