2.0

BETA-ING MY MODE SINCE 2008

moth-erly instincts // movita beaucoup

On April 26, 2012, I ate between 1 and 4.5 million moth eggs. I’m not sure how many I actually kept down, thus the broad range in estimated consumption. Immediately after consuming the moth eggs, I texted 2.0. The text read: I just ate moth larvae. I sent the text at 12:27 pm. I expected an immediate…

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crap i've been meaning to tell you about // movita beaucoup

Let’s get back to our regularly scheduled programming! (Thanks for all of your kind words, guys.) Have I ever told you that growing up I thought my grandfather was Bing Crosby, and that he concealed his true identity in order to have a normal life when he wasn’t making movies and stuff? I was also convinced that I’d…

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birthday // movita beaucoup

Today we celebrated 2.0’s 45th birthday. He requested lasagna and a chocolate cake topped with boiled frosting to mark the occasion. We lit some candles and sang to our favourite fellow at the top of our lungs. After the smoke had cleared and we’d polished off second helpings, Rosie said, “I’m so glad I got all…

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chili chicanery // movita beaucoup

2.0 and I often do our grocery shopping together, and we’ve carefully ranked the cashiers at our regular store. We know who’s fast, who’s slow, who’s friendly and who’s not. Our favourite cashier is Clara. If you’re in a hurry, don’t stand in Clara’s line. If you miss your mom, head right for her. Clara will…

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crap i've been meaning to tell you about // movita beaucoup

Summer blogging update: I haven’t been doing it. But given that the internet is bursting with gems like 8 Ways to Write on a Balloon, I’d say you’ve got enough to keep yourself busy. Kitty update: both of our cats are still alive and eating! Effie celebrated her 14th birthday on Friday. Back in June, I couldn’t imagine that…

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crap i've been meaning to tell you about // movita beaucoup

2.0 and I finally finished the last season of Dexter on Netflix this week, and then they announced a possible comeback season. Okay, Television, you win. WE’LL NEVER BE ABLE TO KEEP UP. I mentioned this once in a newsletter, but it continues to be a problem for me. Have you ever noticed that if you say, “Thanks…

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Since September 2008, I have listened to 2.0 grumble about Phil Mickelson. For those of you who don’t hear his name hissed from between clenched teeth regularly, Phil Mickelson is a professional golfer. And 2.0 loathes him. When you live with a golfer, you learn a lot about the game. The first thing I learned was: when…

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tole tales // movita beaucoup

When 2.0 and I first met, he lived in an apartment with his cat, Ebony. 2.0’s job requires him to travel a fair bit, and when called away, I’d check on Ebony for him. This meant Ebony could stay where she was most comfortable, and it seemed more practical than bringing her to my apartment. Side note:…

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slap chop // movita beaucoup

Last week, I received a call from a telemarketer, who informed me that I had been selected to receive one of two very special prizes: a year of roadside assistance or the Slap Chop. When I told her I already had roadside assistance and the Slap Chop, she seemed disappointed. Telemarketer: But if you didn’t have them,…

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baby factory // movita beaucoup

2.0 and I have been living in our house for over five years now. We bought it after we’d been together for about six months, which proves that drooling on your own pants on your second date is the best way to snag the man of your dreams. We’d only been in the house for a few…

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