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crap i’ve been meaning to tell you about

TAKE A CRAP BATH

crap no. 52

crap i've been meaning to tell you about // movita beaucoup

Ah, the dog days of summer. A time for spiralling and regret thanks to the massive list of goals I write every May which is completely unrealistic and definitely unachievable. I know what you’re thinking: why do that to yourself, movita? And I’m gunna have to say: what else was I supposed to write in…

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crap no. 51

crap i've been meaning to tell you about // movita beaucoup

Have you noticed how hard it is to read websites now? Pop-ups, opt-ins, sliding ads, banner ads on top of banner ads, ads placed right in the body of the post. It’s out of control! I’ve grown so tired of closing ads on websites that I have removed all ads from my blog. This punishes…

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crap no. 50

crap i've been meaning to tell you about // movita beaucoup

I survived yet another teaching year without being recruited into a youth gang. I consider this a major win. I mentioned this on Facebook, but because I assume my typical reader is 87 years old and thinks The Facebooks is trying to steal their retirement savings, I thought I’d put a recommendation here. (My site…

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crap no. 49

crap i've been meaning to tell you about // movita beaucoup

This is basically an all-things-birthday edition of Crap, so get ready to celebrate the delight that is me in a big way. Last week I turned 47. Sharing a birthday with the anniversary of the 1946 prison riot at Alcatraz is tough, so to make up for the downside of a holiday birth date I…

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crap no. 48

crap i've been meaning to tell you about // movita beaucoup

I bought a pair of adorable pink Keds in March which I haven’t been able to wear because it has been rainsnowing for 37 days straight. On the plus side, most warm-weather sports haven’t kicked off in our neighbourhood. I mean, is there anything more nightmarish than a ball being punted, thrown or propelled near…

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crap no. 47

crap i've been meaning to tell you about // movita beaucoup

Since losing Niles, we’ve been slathering Dorey with extra attention. She has been feeling a little low these days, so I told 2.0 to say something supportive and reassuring to her. He walked to her, cupped her face in his hands and gently said, “You have a lot of fur.” Dorey looked at me as…

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crap no. 46

crap i've been meaning to tell you about // movita beaucoup

Woah. It’s been a while. I’ve been profoundly busy making plans for 2019. I haven’t actually been DOING anything. Just making plans. This is partly because I’ve been making great strides in my injury recovery and don’t spend my days praying for the sweet release of death anymore. It has freed up a considerable amount…

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crap no. 45

crap i've been meaning to tell you about // movita beaucoup

‘Tis the season for festive gatherings, eating candy for breakfast, telling people everything I know about the Golden State Killer over eggnog, and going blind as I write about Ginger entries for a week straight.  I survived NaNoWriMo! Over 50,000 words of a first draft written, most of them utter crap. If I had to…

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crap no. 44

crap i've been meaning to tell you about // movita beaucoup

Greetings from my bed of fire. For three weeks I’ve been struggling with an injury to my left ass and leg. Know what I miss? Standing and walking. Who knew? I always imagined that being confined to my house would be a dream come true. Nope. Because this is the worst pain I have ever…

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crap no. 43

crap i've been meaning to tell you about // movita beaucoup

Note: this edition of Crap has been generously sponsored by CAPS LOCK. Bless me Internet, for I have sinned. It has been many weeks since my last blog post. I am sorry for sometimes re-watching episodes of Brooklyn Nine-Nine instead of writing. I firmly resolve to amend my life. Thanks be to Google. Things have…

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