crap i’ve been meaning to tell you about

TAKE A CRAP BATH

crap i've been meaning to tell you about // movita beaucoup

In my last pile of crap, I told you all about the temple that is this middle-aged body. Now let’s break down some of the other stuff that has happened in my life since we last chatted in June. It’s not a huge update because I just had some organs ripped out two weeks ago.…

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crap i've been meaning to tell you about // movita beaucoup

Oh, hey. It’s been a while. Like, eight months. I’ve been away so long that as I’m typing this I’m also trying to re-learn how my site works because there have been upgrades and I’m befuddled. When we last talked my uterus had tried to assassinate me. I had a blood transfusion and was put…

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crap i've been meaning to tell you about // movita beaucoup

I know what you’re thinking: what the hell, movita? Where have you been? I had some big plans for this pandemic. I figured I should make the most of my unemployment and divided my house into 15 small zones (rooms, hallways, staircases, entryways) for deep cleaning, purging, organizing, and trim painting. I got eleven zones…

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petite merde

Yesterday 2.0 hollered from the basement and told me to, “Turn on the news. Hurry!” I immediately turned the television to a national news network. I watched a COVID-19 press conference for 45 minutes. Absolutely nothing new was announced. When the update ended I met 2.0 in the kitchen. movita: I watched the news conference…

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crap i've been meaning to tell you about // movita beaucoup

HEY! My homeland (Nova Scotia) has just declared a state of emergency and I’m quite sure that I’m not supposed to be sitting next to my window or using my computer but I thought you might NEED me and my run-on sentences right now so here I am. The world feels upside down and 2.0…

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crap i've been meaning to tell you about // movita beaucoup

Sup, homies? Happy belated New Year. Like, really belated. Where have I been? Mostly running errands, but sometimes at work or in bed watching Netflix. You know, the stuff most successful people do. So let’s get you all caught up. I think you’ll be pleased to learn that I still really like run-on sentences and…

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crap i've been meaning to tell you about // movita beaucoup

Greetings! This edition of Crap has been brought to you by bad grammar, run-on sentences, and some bellybutton lint (compliments of 2.0). My sister and I were supposed to go to France in November, but our trip has been delayed. My sister broke her body pretty good and we figured it wouldn’t be fun to…

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crap i've been meaning to tell you about // movita beaucoup

Hey there! It’s been a long time. I didn’t mean to leave you hangin’ for so long. I’ve been out living my truth or whatever Oprah says I should be doing. I officially launched my dance photography business over the summer. In August I started referring to myself as a lady boss, but then people…

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crap i've been meaning to tell you about // movita beaucoup

Ah, the dog days of summer. A time for spiralling and regret thanks to the massive list of goals I write every May which is completely unrealistic and definitely unachievable. I know what you’re thinking: why do that to yourself, movita? And I’m gunna have to say: what else was I supposed to write in…

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crap i've been meaning to tell you about // movita beaucoup

Have you noticed how hard it is to read websites now? Pop-ups, opt-ins, sliding ads, banner ads on top of banner ads, ads placed right in the body of the post. It’s out of control! I’ve grown so tired of closing ads on websites that I have removed all ads from my blog. This punishes…

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