the frenchies
crap no. 41
Halifax is caught up in a humidity vortex and MY GOD IT’S LIKE HAVING YOUR FACE STUCK IN AN ARMPIT 24/7. I’m sticky, wet, and my house smells like a medieval mortuary. My parents, Bill and Rosie Beaucoup, have been married for about 95 years. When you’ve been a pair for that long your names…
Read Morecrap no. 25
Murder Couple had a fight last week. I’m not sure what happened, but I was out watering some plants when they came walking by. Lady killer was striding about 10 feet in front of her limping male counterpart, and looked like she had some plans for his eyeballs and a decorative jar. (Are they suffering from the…
Read Moreone bowl yellow cake with lemon buttercream frosting
Happy birthday, Pumpkin! To mark this, your seventh birthday, I made you a cake. A cake topped with lots of teeny-tiny things. Because teeny-tiny things are the bestest. For example, kittens are teeny-tiny and way awesome. So were you when you were born. Also, rats holding teddy bears. And pixie portals. Good things come in teeny-tiny packages.…
Read Morefrench chocolate ice cream sundaes with bacon brittle sprinkles
At Christmastime, we learned that my wee French niece, Turnip, does not like vanilla ice cream. We learned this when we made the bigass mistake of giving Turnip a vanilla ice cream sundae. She gave us the Dead Eyes in return. Dead Eyes shouldn’t be confused with my sister’s signature move: Dead Monkey. In this masterful…
Read Morelobster, bacon and gruyère crustless quiche
Happy birthday, Isa! I hope you’re having a marvellous day. I’m not even going to whine about the frigid temperatures and snow we’ve got here. I’m almost happy that you’re frolicking in the daffodils. Rosie Beaucoup was kind enough to share your crustless quiche recipe with me, and I made some in your honour. You…
Read Morehappy birthday, adopamop
Happy birthday, Adopamop! The Beaucoup clan got way more awesome once you slid in and joined the team. You melted our hearts, and now there’s snow way we could imagine our lives without you. Listen, you might feel like having a meltdown – people will tell you that things go downhill as you get older,…
Read Morefat sparrows {crap no. 8}
Happy New Year! Let’s get 2014 started with some Crap I’ve Been Meaning To Tell You About, 8th Edition. 2.0 and I are exhausted. The holidays have meant staying up way past our bedtime every night. We are not coping well. Also, the weather/driving here has been atrocious. I have at least 20 new grey hairs…
Read Morechocolate cupcakes with {awesome} chocolate frosting
. . . Three weeks of visiting with Haddy, Luke the Dog, Adopamop, Pumpkin and Turnip, have taught me an important lesson. I have learned that 4.5 million accumulated drops of happiness can be matched in sorrow the instant you have to say goodbye. Now, don’t fret. I have also learned that: chocolate cupcakes slathered…
Read Morelemon tea muffins
My brother, Adopamop, along with Pumpkin and Turnip, arrived from France just over two weeks ago. My sister, Haddy, is here too. She brought Luke the Dog with her. They are all staying with Bill and Rosie Beaucoup. And they are all wearing me out. French kids sleep in. They aren’t total a-holes like North American…
Read Morelemon sorbet and an open letter to my sister
Dear Haddy, This evening, I am picking up our wee French nieces, Pumpkin and Turnip, at the airport. Adopamop will be there too. I’m very excited to see our brother, but I’ve NEVER MET TURNIP. And she’s two years old. So, I’m about as excited as any one person can be. Now, I understand that…
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