Remember this pumpkin carriage cake topper? Well, I’ve finally got a how-to for you. See? It only took two years of hounding. Peer pressure works!

I made you an ebook. It has been months in the making. You can download it here. It’s free! It’s my little gift to you. It includes some video tutorials and access to an FAQ page. And good news: everything’s of the exceptionally mediocre quality you’ve come to expect from me!

Not interested in making a pumpkin carriage? You can use the methods in this tutorial to create any dimensional/hollow cake topper you might like. The options are limitless! (That’s not true. I think making a life-sized sculpture of your naked body might be a bit much, don’t you?)

GET THE EBOOK HERE!

I sincerely hope you like it! Mostly because there’s not much I can do to fix things at this point…

For the second year in a row, Oliver thought he might like a garbage truck cake to mark the occasion of his birthday. I’m all for waste management, but was pretty happy when he changed his mind and decided upon a Lego cake. I don’t know that this qualifies as a tutorial, but I thought I’d outline how I went about ebellishing this cake – just in case you like detail-oriented projects, and loathe free time.

Both the Lego man and blocks were made from fondant. I borrowed a few of Oliver’s Lego bricks so I could tint my fondant to match the true Lego colours EXACTLY. The bricks are to scale in terms of length and width (but not depth), as are the little circles on top. To make the bricks I measured the real Lego bricks and then cut strips of fondant (rolled to 1/16 inch) to match. I used a piping tip to cut out the little circles, and then attached them to the tops of the bricks using a tiny bit of water and a food-safe brush.

To make the Lego man, I did a Google image search for “lego man template,” picked one I liked, and then scaled it to the size I thought would best fit the cake. I printed the image, cut it out, and used it as a template for the various segments of my Lego dude. Because he measured only 5 inches tall, some of the pieces were very small, and I went blind for about 36 hours. This did not deter me in the least because I’m a goddamned professional. I assembled my man on parchment paper – brushed the tiniest bit of water along the edges of the fondant that need to connect, gently pressed together, and then allowed the entire piece to dry for two days. I used a spatula to transfer the man to the cake. I free-handed the face with some teeny-tiny fondant pieces. I think I captured the essence of a blank Rutherford stare quite nicely.

I used fondant cutters for the number 5 and Oliver’s name. I placed the letters on little fondant squares, which I think looks perfectly adorable. I did not make the confetti sprinkles. I bought them at the Bulk Barn. But I was blind for 36 hours.

Honestly, this is one of my most favourite cake projects to date. Oliver – a very charming and thoughtful little man – is most deserving of sweet treats and happy birthdays. Even if his parents are my sworn enemies.

Bunheads for bunheads! Dancers have long embellished bobby pins with tiny flowers, beads and rhinestones to dress up their buns. But I’m going to suggest we take things to the next level. Let’s shove tiny disembodied heads in our hairdos!

Supplies:

• small wooden beads – about 1/2 inch in diameter
• bobby pins
• mini pom poms
• sequins (my fancy sequins came in a grab bag I bought at Michael’s)
• teeny tiny rhinestones
• craft paint
• small paint brushes
• strong glue
• skewer or toothpick
• pencil
• scissors

1. Paint the beads any colour/ethnicity you like, and allow to dry completely. It may take 2-3 coats. You can also leave them plain.

2. Glue the bead to the rounded end of a bobby pin. (I used E6000, as it holds well.) Use a skewer to line the inside of the bead and cover the top of the bobby pin with glue, then slide the bead down. Don’t go too far – you want most of the bobby pin free for securing to hair. Wipe off any excess glue and allow to dry completely before embellishing. Clipping the pins to a box keeps them upright when drying glue/paint at the various stages of assembly.

3. Sketch the hair and a face with a pencil. This isn’t necessary if you feel you can freehand with paint.

4. Paint on the hair and face. I kept mine simple, but if you’re artistic you could go crazy here.

5. Glue a mini pom pom to the top of the bead, covering the bead hole.

6. Cut a sequin in half and glue it to the front of the mini pom pom. A skewer helps with the application of glue.

7. Glue a tiny rhinestone to the sequin. Again, a skewer or toothpick helps here.

You could skip the sequin, and simply use rhinestones to dress up your little friend’s bun. Teeny tiny flowers would be nice too!

Clipping the pins to a box keeps them upright when drying glue/paint at the various stages of assembly.

I brought some of these bobby pins to class last week, and the girls went bonkers for them. The girls, by the way, are in my Advanced ballet class. THEY AREN’T LITTLE CHILDREN – most of them are taller than me. Clearly these have ageless appeal!

(If you’re into ballet crafts, you might also like these Ballerina Peg Dolls!)

Are you a ballet dancer? Do you have a ballet student in your life? Are you looking for a little gift for a dancer that is cheap AND will impress? Maybe you should make a handy sewing kit!

Sewing kits are a must for dancers. They are easy to throw together, and most items can be found at a dollar store or around the house, so you won’t have to spend much cash on things that will be sitting alongside sweaty tights. Sewing kits are also a great way to impress ballet teachers, and could very well secure a lead role in the next production. Or perhaps get you promoted from Shrub #3 to Party Onlooker! When I see a kid with a sewing kit? Well, it really helps me look past that underwear sticking out from under a bodysuit.

Let’s begin. First, you’ll need a small tin. You could use something from the dollar store, a little candy tin, or a vintage tin you stole from a senile relative bought on Etsy. It should be something small and sturdy – bonus points if it’s cute. Tins will generally hold up to a good tossing in a ballet bag. (Make sure the lid fits tightly.) At a mere 3 inches square (and only 1.5 inches deep), my kit takes up no room in a dance bag.

Safety pins in a variety of sizes really come in handy when things need to be held up or together. Like, for example, when a bodysuit strap explodes. And sewing needles? Well, they make sewing way easier.

To make safety pins easy to find, glue a magnet to the underside of the tin’s lid. (I used an old fridge magnet.) Attach a strip of felt by gluing only the ends to the lid, and you’ve got an easy way to secure straight pins and sewing needles. See how the sharp ends are tucked under the felt?

If there’s anything I’ve learned after teaching for 20+ years, it’s that you can never have too many pairs of scissors or too much thread in your dance bag. Pink thread is a must for female dancers, black/white/beige is great for guys and gals. Teeny-tiny scissors can be found in cheap sewing kits and at craft stores. Throw in a seam ripper and needle threader if you can.

Buttons, snaps, hooks and eyes are a fast-fix for nearly any wardrobe malfunction, and are often overlooked in sewing kits. Show up for recital with these in your bag and your teacher will finally forgive you for that stunt you pulled on stage last year.

You don’t have to use a super-cool tiger measuring tape – a little fabric one will serve just fine. Pointe shoe ribbons/elastics and elastics for ballet slippers can be found at your local dance store or online. I like to bundle these things together with hair elastics, as you can never have too many hair elastics at a dance studio. If you/your dancer doesn’t wear pointe shoes, leave out the pointe ribbon/elastic. For male dancers, emergency elastic should match the colour of his ballet slippers – white, black and tan are the most common colours.

Once you’ve collected your supplies, jam ’em into the tin and you’re good to go! Throw that little tin into a dance bag, and you’re prepared for any shoe/wardrobe emergency that might come your way. Except for toilet emergencies. A number of my students have dropped their bodysuits into toilets over the years. A sewing kit can’t help you here.

These are my go-to chocolate cupcakes. Rich, tender and chocolatey. A classic cupcake that never lets me down. And though I should probably keep ’em top secret, I’m not going to. Because I want you to succeed. I want you to win at baking. I want you to feel like you can be almost nearly as great as I am.

These cupcakes take only minutes to throw together and no stand mixer is required. Got a whisk? That’s all you need. Heck, you could use a spoon in a pinch. This recipe is easily doubled if you need extras, and you can top ’em with whatever sort of frosting you might like. So when you’re going through your kid’s backpack at 10 pm, and find that note requesting a buttload of cupcakes by 8 am tomorrow? MAKE THESE.

Need a frosting recipe? Don’t fret. I’ve got you covered. Hows about a soft, sweet, chocolatey number? It’s got a little gloss to it, and though it’s not suitable for piping, it is easily spread over the cupcakes with a palette knife or spoon. It, too, is extremely easy to throw together, making it a great last minute option. (Got a large pan of brownies that needs dressing up? This will work!) I’d recommend using a hand mixer to whip this frosting into a smooth, spreadable topping, but if you’ve got arms like Hulk Hogan? You could probably do it by hand.

Some of you keeners will be wondering about the fondant hearts. Well, they aren’t an exact science. You’ll have to play around a bit, and you’ll get different results every time. I’ll give you an idea of what I did below. I made the hearts two days ahead of time so they’d be nice and hard for standing up in the cupcakes. Buy some fondant if you don’t want to make it. (Seriously. Don’t be a hero. Just buy it.)

To make the striped hearts (this is merely a guideline):

1. Knead and dye some fondant with gel paste food colouring. Any colours you like. I’d recommend making four complimentary colours, but go ahead with that sports team tribute if you like. I don’t have quantities for you – it depends on how many hearts you need. You’ll be rolling the fondant out thin, so don’t make a pound of the stuff – a large handful of fondant will probably be enough – make a little extra if you’re unsure. I use shortening on my hands and counter to prevent sticking – just a thin coating.

2. Work quickly, as this stuff has a tendency to dry out – keep the portions you aren’t working with tightly wrapped until you need them. Roll a small portion of each colour into strips/snakes, each about the same length – 5-6 inches long. If you want one colour to be more dominant, use a larger portion of that.

3. Lay the strips beside each other, nice and snug, and pinch the ends together.

4. Twist a few times up the length of the rope.

5. Fold in half.

6. Twist again. Don’t worry if some of the strips break. You’ll be rolling it all out.

7. Roll out. Work from the centre out. Small cracks can be smoothed with your fingers. Roll to about 1/8 inch thick. Cut in desired shapes. (Again, I use a thin coating of shortening on my counter to prevent sticking.)

To make the tie-dyed hearts:

8. Use the scraps from the striped hearts. Gather the scraps into a ball.

9. Squeeze gently together (I only squeezed twice).

10. Roll and cut out.

If you want to skip the striped hearts – making only the tie-dyed – you could follow steps 1-6 from above, and then gently squeeze a few times before rolling/cutting.

2.0 and I don’t really believe in Valentine’s Day (we know it exists, we just think it’s dumb), so we’d like to suggest that you make these for Saint Patrick’s Day to throw people off.

. . .

Easy Chocolate Cupcakes

Makes 12 cupcakes.

print and bake

• 1 cup all-purpose flour
• 1/3 cup cocoa powder
• 3/4 teaspoon baking soda
• 1/2 teaspoon baking powder
• 1/2 teaspoon instant espresso powder (optional)
• 1/4 teaspoon salt
• 1 cup buttermilk
• 3/4 cup granulated sugar
• 1/3 cup canola oil
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract

Mise en place – start by getting organized. Read through the entire recipe before beginning. Measure out all of your ingredients.

Preheat oven to 350°F. Line cupcake tins with cupcake liners – paper or foil.

Place the flour, cocoa, baking soda, baking powder, instant espresso (if using) and salt in a bowl, and whisk well to combine.

In a large bowl, whisk together the buttermilk, sugar, canola oil and vanilla extract until well combined. Add the flour mixture and whisk until well combined and no large lumps remain. (Tiny lumps are fine.)

Divide the batter evenly between the 12 cupcake wells. An ice cream scoop makes this easier. Don’t fill more than 3/4 full.

Bake for 18-20 minutes, until a toothpick inserted in the centre of a cupcake comes out clean. Remove cupcakes from pan and allow to cool completely on a wire rack before frosting.

. . .

Simple Chocolate Frosting

Yields enough to frost 12 cupcakes – this is a soft, spreadable frosting, not suitable for piping.

print and cover stuff with frosting

• 2 ounces semi-sweet chocolate (you can use chocolate chips)
• 2 tablespoons unsalted butter
• 1 1/2 cups icing sugar, sifted
• 1/8 teaspoon salt
• 1/4 cup heavy (whipping) cream
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract

Mise en place – start by getting organized. Read through the entire recipe before beginning. Measure out all of your ingredients. This frosting can be made with a stand or hand mixer.

Melt the butter and chocolate in a stainless steel bowl placed over a pot of simmering water, stirring until completely melted and smooth. You can also do this in the microwave – use a low power setting, and heat gently to melt.

Place the sifted icing sugar, salt, heavy cream and vanilla in a large bowl. Add the melted chocolate and butter and mix with an handheld mixer (you can do this in a stand mixer as well). Mix on low speed at first, and then increase speed to medium and beat until well combined. Scrape the sides and bottom of the bowl at least once during mixing to ensure all ingredients are incorporated.

Use a palette knife or spoon to spread the frosting onto cupcakes.