thanks and stuff

Hey, you. Let’s chat. I’ve received an enormous number of emails expressing concern about some stuff that went down on my blog yesterday. My inbox was full this morning. Seems you’ve been pretty worried that my feelings may have been hurt by a couple of comments left upon the naming of Elsa as Bake My Cake 2012 champ. So I thought I should clear some stuff up.

I think it’s pretty clear that the competitions I host on this blog are for fun. I’d been competing with my friends enemies, The Rutherfords, for years, but opened the competitions to all of you more recently. (Because The Rutherfords are useless now.) I also thought it would be a cool way to help promote other bloggers. I am not sponsored, and I do not make money from the competitions. In fact, Bake My Cake marked only the second competition where I offered a prize. That I bought myself. Because I love you.

Posts promoting the competition stated:

… it’s not necessarily the best cake that wins, people. It’s a freakin’ popularity contest. Like high school! You’re playin’ with the big kids now.


Use the interweb for something other than porn. 

That was basically a public service announcement.

And when it came to voting, I stated:

During Ginger 2011, some clever competitors discovered that you can vote from your laptop, then your iPhone, then your tablet… Yes, I get that means rich people will screw you over. But I’m going to have to ask you to get over it. Or go to the library and vote on every single computer they’ve got. If you find a shortcut, have at it. I don’t have time to manage you, my hair and the interweb.

I encouraged competitors to use any means possible to win. To use email, blogs, twitter and facebook to their advantage. And then, just in case anyone was still confused, I reminded everyone that: … there can only be one winner. Have some fun for cripes’ sake. 

Basically, there were no rules. I gave no rules for submissions. I gave no rules for voting. Because I don’t give a rat’s ass.

Elsa handed out flyers to promote her Bake My Cake submission. She handed them out where I work – a massive conservatory of performing arts, with hundreds of students and faculty members. Then she approached people at her school, and at the private school where her mother teaches. A dorm full of kids armed with computers, iPhones and iPads. And one of those kids had a twin at a school in Ontario – and dudes? They organized the kids in those dorms to vote. Elsa’s family got involved. They told members of their church to vote. They promoted it on facebook. They sent mass emails. And all of Elsa’s supporters told people to vote on every device they could get their hands on. Elsa played the game. Just like I told her to.

If that sounds dodgy to some of you, you’ve gotta get yer head examined. And honestly, I am pretty sad that I have to spend any of my time defending this for-fun competition. But more importantly, I feel badly that so many of you felt sad about things. It’s marshing my mallow, people.

I am closing comments on this post. Because this post is a total downer. But I would really like to thank you all for your emails. To thank you for your concern. It will take me a while to get back to each of you, thus this public thank you. I basically weeped my way through yesterday. Not because of a couple of comments left on my blog. Cripes, people, it’s the interweb! Those comments basically mean I’M FAMOUS NOW. Comments are just that. Comments. And sure, something someone says might totally fry yer bacon, but when you have a blog, you open yourself up to that kind of stuff. Frankly, it’s pretty cool that people are so impassioned by buttercream.

I cried yesterday because you all sent such sentimental emails expressing concern for Elsa and I. Email after email. And y’all sent some of the most incredible birthday wishes a woman could ever hope to receive. You people are pretty sappy. And I loves ya for it. But if you think for one second that I’m not going to try to beat your asses in the next competition? You are way wrong.

Basically, this is my playground. I hope you’ll have fun here with me. And let’s face it, if anyone should be mad, it’s The Rutherfords. I’ve basically united the entire interweb against them.

I’m going to eat some birthday cake now. Oh, and just so you know? I’ve got a super-awesome birthday round up to share with you soon… with VIDEOS!