crap no. 23
Kitty Update: Niles is eating like an almost normal cat, and we’ve had some lengthy discussions about the importance of not starving oneself to death. And Effie? Well, our old girl won’t be getting better, but she seems happy and comfortable, which is all we’re asking for these days. Extra snuggles are being administered, and I’ve lost 7 lbs.
I made another Rutherford birthday cake this week. A Star Wars Disco cake. Because those kids can never request something I understand. When I asked that sweet child what she got for her birthday yesterday, she said, “Shampoo!” like it was a goddamned diamond ring. What goes on in that house?
Every time I flush a toilet I stare at the water rising in the toilet bowl. Do you do that? I’m in a constant state of panic, people. Is the water rising a little too high? A little too slow? Too fast? I’ve gotta stop reading toilet horror stories on the internet. (And maybe look into some medication to manage my anxiety.)
Growing up, all Beaucoup children took swimming lessons. Safety first! Did you know that a significant number of drowning victims didn’t even intend to be in the water in the first place? I read that on a water safety site. I’m assuming that means people go to parties, have a few drinks and then decide to go swimming. Or maybe they mean people just fall into water? Regardless, that’s not likely to happen to me. First off, I have very good balance, and if I’m in the water it’s because I absolutely had to go in. We’re talking months of mental and physical preparation before committing to the act. And second, if I drown, it will be because someone intentionally helped me to do it. (Ooklay atway 2.0 irstfay.)
Next weekend is recital weekend. It’s the weekend I dread all year. I like to prepare my students for anything that might happen, because weird stuff ALWAYS happens at dance recitals. I start prep-quizzing my dancers in the spring. I ask them stuff like, “What happens if your headpiece falls off?” Or, “What should you do if you drop your wand?” Or, “What if you make a mistake?” The correct answer is: keep going. Because that’s what dancers do. We keep going. And I want my kids to know it’s okay to just do their best. One year a kid’s costume strap broke, and that kid held onto that strap for dear life and kept on going. She didn’t miss a step. It was impressive. So the following year I made the mistake of asking, “What do you do if your costume strap starts slipping off?” And one of my students got super excited and yelled, “DANCE OUT OF IT! DANCE OUT OF YOUR COSTUME!” And then we had to have a talk about why dancing naked on stage wasn’t a good idea.
Fingers crossed.
No words. Grinning. Heh.
I am equal parts wanting to see the parents’ horrified faces when your students dance out of their costumes and wanting the recitals to go perfectly. May they all break legs, Movita!
Nudity would increase ticket sales next year…
So much goodness in this post. But Effie is breaking my heart.
Mine too, friend. Mine too. xox
All the true words here! Keep going! We should all do this! Enjoy your recital!
By the way, such an amazing cake! 🙂
I LOVE THIS CAKE. It’s the cake I never knew I always needed.
I also constantly stare at the water in the toilet… is it going to overflow?? I also stand in there and listen for it to stop running, like, that watery sound. Usually it stops once the water fills up, BUT SOMETIMES IT KEEPS GOING. Then I have to jiggle things and wiggle things and … ya know. I’m just glad I’m not the only one…
2 more weeks until recital here and I CANNOT WAIT. At their festival last month a girl in the group before my daughter’s lost the gigantic bow off the back of her costume about 8 seconds into the routine – right in the middle of the stage. 12 little eight year olds in the group, and they never missed a beat. They just danced right over that humongous satin monstrosity like it didn’t exist. Pros!
Considering the addition of humongous satin bows to all costumes this weekend…
Movi (I should probably stop calling you that since I technically know your real name ????), you make me laugh out loud. Legit. Laugh out loud. Dance right out of her costume… hahahahaaaaaaa…
Your blog posts. D’best. xo
Naw, Lynne, YOU are the best!
Thanks for my morning giggle. Glad Mr. Niles is doing better and fingers crossed for an uneventful recital (or at least low level drama ;)).
you have such a wonderful way of making me smile and feel whole again. thank you. it’s been a rough time of it lately, and i don’t know why, but you are a delight.
Thanks, Lan. xox
Just read this. Oh man, this is why I keep coming back! Also, YES to the pig latin.