bake my cake 2014
I’m turning 42 on May 2nd, and I’d like you to bake me a birthday cake. Welcome to Bake My Cake 2014: Crappy Cake Edition.
Listen, I know you like to compete. And I know you like to be judged by strangers on the interwebs. But I also know that some of you have been afraid to enter my competitions; that you feel you are not good enough. Well, sweetie, this is your year. You don’t have to be good enough. Stop reaching for the impossible, and settle for the mediocrity that is you.
Never baked a cake before? Now’s the time. Never tried rolling out fondant? You can google that. Not sure how to pipe buttercream shells, sculpt tacky toppers or build a multitiered cake? Wing it. Too cheap to buy proper decorating equipment but convinced you’ve got a great home-hack alternative? Go forth, cake pioneer! Because this year, your cakes will be grouped according to crappiness. And the crappier the better.
When you send in your Bake My Cake 2014 entries, a team of highly trained cake professionals (2.0 and I) will assess them. We will group cakes according to skill level, techniques used/attempted, mediums incorporated, overall appearance, use of theme (any theme), and overall crappiness/awesomeness. So, if your cake looks like a mother freaking savant made it, you’ll compete with other like-minded cake savants in the preliminary round. If your cake looks like it was assembled by a toothless baboon… well, we’re gunna introduce you to some new baboon friends. The final round of voting? Well, that’s a savant versus baboon free-for-all. My hands are tied.
Let’s get this sugary battle royale started:
- Create a birthday cake for movita. Anything you like. I don’t like rules, so as long as it is a cake, I’m happy. Any style. Any colour. Any flavour. Any decorating theme.
- Send movita a picture (two maximum) of your super-awesome cake by Monday, April 21st, 2014, 11:59 pm AST. Please don’t crash my email – downsize your photos a bit, okay? No late entries will be accepted. Photos shouldn’t include you/your kids/humans. We just wanna see your cake, Creepy. Hint: the judges really appreciate creative staging/lack lustre photography.
- Listen, people, I’m not kidding about the two photo thing. Send TWO photos. If you send more, I will return your email to you, tell you to pick TWO photos and demand you re-submit your entry. And don’t send me some photo you found online and then claim it as your own. Seriously. I don’t like it when my voice sounds like this.
- Don’t worry if your cake looks like crud. This year, the cruddier the better.
- Send your name, email, and any other information you might want included with your entry. Personal information (email, last name, weight) will not be posted. Just your first name, your photos, and the stupid stuff you tell me about your “creative process.”
- If you’re a blogger, please send a link to your blog. Don’t assume I know who you are. I’m super dumb. Send the URL.
- Watch for a picture of your super-awesome birthday cake to appear on movita beaucoup. I will
probablymake fun of your cake. Deal. - Watch people vote/not vote for your super-awesome cake. Voting will take place Monday, April 28 to Thursday, May 1. Winners will be officially announced on Friday, May 2nd.
- Win the respect and admiration of many. And a prize!
Prizes have been sponsored by yours truly – because selling prescription drugs to kids in the neighbourhood has been relatively profitable. That said, I ain’t got no fancy corporate sponsors, so here are my wee offerings:
1st Place:
- a $50.00 (USD) gift certificate to spend online at Bake It Pretty
- you pick: an online Craftsy Cake Decorating class of your choice (budget: $65.00 USD) OR a $65.00 USD Amazon online gift certificate
2nd Place:
- a $25.00 (USD) gift certificate to spend online at Bake it Pretty
- you pick: an online Craftsy Cake Decorating class of your choice ( budget: $45.00 USD) OR a $45.00 USD Amazon online gift certificate
Every Other Place:
- my love and respect
So, it’s settled. Start decorating your cakes, and send me your photos. You can send me your entry this week, or slap something together at the last minute like you did in high school.
Email photo(s) of your entry to movita|at|live.ca by Monday, April 21, 2014. Too lazy to copy and paste that email address? Just click on that email button in the right sidebar of this here blog.
The competition starts… NOW!
Sounds like a lot of fun and I’m definitely going to get my whisk at the ready 😉
DO IT.
THIS I can do!
Good. I’ll be awaiting my cake.
Oh, sure, you want it to LOOK bad, but how do you want it to TASTE??? What are Movita’s flavors of preference (or extreme disdain)? Or does the crappiness extend to the flavor as well?
you know the flavors she hates, Natalie. YOU KNOW THIS. or wait…that’s a good question about if it’s suppose to taste crappy or just look crappy and taste delicious. oh god so much thinking.
Crappiness all round, Natalie. Bring it.
This looks like a fun contest and I am sure you will have some beautiful cakes lining up for your birthday!
Hahahaha this is amazing! I love eating cake but I’ve never been good at making it look pretty, so I want to try this!
What an INGENIOUS idea to group the cakes according to skill level! I hope there is a category for cakes that look they have been partially eaten by a bunch of racoons.
Duh. Of course there’s a category for that.
I could qualify for entry in this. I can do crappy better than most, I reckon!
and hb ahead of time.
Ok, Movita, IT IS ON! I’m super psyched for this contest. FINALLY, a contest I have a shot at winning! I am going to blow you away with my crappy cake skills. Trust.
Well, considering the most wing it type of person ever (that’s why cooking and I get along a little better than baking) I could probably whip together a baboon butt of a craptastic, degenerate of a cake. Happy early birthday!
I’m the most wing it *. I can’t formulate sentences today
What a great idea…I will be following this one!
stillllll waiting for my cake.
/checks mailbox for the umpteenth time.
I’m still waiting for MY cake.
omg as i was commenting on Natalie’s comment it hit me: I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT I AM MAKING YOU. I MEAN EXACTLY. it’s like here i was typing words and the cake basically formed itself – as if in a dream – directly in front of my face.
Uh oh. I think I might know the secret ingredient…
[…] Beaucoup announced this year’s “Bake My Cake” competition and the theme, as only Movita could possibly have thought of, is crappy cakes. In her words, […]
I LUV YOU. This is har, har funny and I can’t wait to be part of it!
I love you too. Now bake me a cake.
Well who knew crappy cakes were all the rage. If I can muster enough enough to under-bake and decorate a cruddy cake with my craptastic skills I’ll be sure to swing by. If not I’m quite certain I can pull myself together enough to make fun of, er, I mean compliment everyone else’s. Let the games begin….
If I told you how much I mutha futha love this post, it wouldn’t quite be nearly as much as I REALLY mutha futha love it. And because I love birthdays, I’m pretty sure I could round up the shittiest piece of crap you’ve ever seen. Challenge accepted.
I look forward to your mutha futha crappy entry.
May it be the crappiest of all!
I will send two pictures that were inspired by your recipe…hope you like them…I am such a newbie and I don’t bake much. you inspired me you know.
Oh my goodness! I’m so excited! I can’t wait to see your cake (I bet it will be AWESOME)…
Comments on this post are now closed as it was published in March 2014. Thanks for stopping by!