Alas, this is our third and final grouping of Ginger 2017 entries. I like to call this batch: Rule-breakers and Visionaries.
Cast your vote at the bottom of the post to help determine the winner of the 2017 People’s Choice Prize. (For more information on how this competition will go down, click here.) Don’t forget: commenting could win you a prize!
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Tracey’s Cozy Cottage (Knit One, Purl One)
I usually make an edible gingerbread house but this year it is all knitted.
That’s it. No other details. Maybe Tracey’s plan to tell us more came unraveled? Maybe she’s thinks I’m a knitwit? That she can pull the wool over my eyes? Pffft. Don’t be silly! I know there’s no gingerbread here.
Do you see a pattern forming? It’s the rule-breakers that have me in stitches. And here’s a purl of wisdom for you: don’t sweater the small stuff. This ginger-free entry tells a story, it spins a yarn. This house is a Craftsman house!
Skillfully designed and constructed, this home would be perfect for a pint-sized middle class family wishing to purchase a well-insulated and comfortable abode. Look at the armchair! The windows! The candy mat, sublime roofing, mantle, stockings, adorable trees — ALL KNITTED! Knit? Knitted? Whatever. This toasty entry has me feeling warm and fuzzy! Allow me to needle you with just one more gem:
Why are Christmas trees bad at knitting? Because they keep dropping their needles.
MOVITA OUT. *drops mic*
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Kathleen & Lauren’s We Ran the Numbers/The Internet Wanted This
Kathleen and Lauren sent the following information with their entry:
Every year my daughter and I construct a ginger masterpiece. It’s massively anticipated by our entire Facebook friend network (at least 5 to 6 of them) and they start asking when it will be finished in, like July. We sometimes even get it done by Christmas. So when we do there are the usual oohs and ahs, but there’s a definite trend in the bits they like best. So we did a data analysis (e.g. counted them up) of the most popular parts of our ginger and based our latest creation on that. We devote the better part of our lives creating our ginger extravaganza and they like… well the photo says it all – the fence, the car, the smoke. Give ’em what they want. (I’m sure thee are some ginger crumbs in there somewhere ????)
Is there any gingerbread here? No. Do I give a flying fart? NO. Because this is research-based gingering. And it turns out that a large number of Facebook users (5 or 6) (people not percent) prefer their holiday gingerbread displays to contain no gingerbread. And with good reason! Ginger has many dangerous side effects when consumed in large doses: heartburn, diarrhea, general stomach discomfort. GENERAL STOMACH DISCOMFORT! Also, possible mouth irritation, belching, bloating, gas and sleepiness. Eat a traditional gingerbread house and you could fall asleep in front of your holiday guests and emit digestive gasses all over them! Did you know that if you swallow a pile of ginger without chewing properly, it could cause an intestinal blockage? Do you want to spend the holidays in the hospital with a bunch of strangers poking your intestines? NO, SHEILA, YOU DON’T.
Now take a look at that car. Sturdy and, if retrofitted with modern day upgrades, safe. The smoke coming from the hood? Just a warning. The fence? Probably a guardrail. Guardrails prevent death and serious injury all the damn time. Bravo, Kathleen and Lauren. You’ve done it! The safest Ginger entry of all time!
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Susan’s Festivus of Lights Gingerbread Menorahaus
Yes, it’s a gingerbread house. But, behold! It is also a menorah. Are you sick of people dreaming of only a white Christmas? Perhaps you too are fed up with diminutive representations of brown people who have to run, run, run as fast they can? O, come all ye full of any faith and roll on up to our wheelchair-accessible Festivus Gingerbread Menorahaus where everyone is welcome. This is how the war on Christmas really ends.
Sweet baby Jesus. This isn’t how the war on Christmas ends. This is how MY BLOG ends. Nothing brings out the internet trolls like a good jab at the holidays. The Perpetually Up In Arms will be arriving soon, so before the world wide webernet implodes let’s chat about this delightful creation!
First off, the photo is glorious. I want to bask in the warm light of that menorah/candle display/non-religious lighting system. The wheelchair ramp leading to the front door is an excellent addition, and I believe this to be the first entry in Ginger history to include one. And look at that pile of Christmas gifts! Sorry, holiday presents. Winter solstice giveaways? Interfaith party favours? Gah! Don’t get your tinsel in a tangle! It matters not because this inclusive abode is a balls to the wall entry. As in: there are balls everywhere. And I like balls.
Happy holidays! I mean Holly Days. Chrismahanukwanzivus. DAMMIT!
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Tanya & Family’s The Dog Ate Our Homework
After a trip to Washington DC in the Summer of 2015 we embarked on an epic ginger project.
The Washington Monument and the Lincoln Memorial in all their white marble glory were under construction in the joyous kitchen when…
the murders began.
What’s that now? Murder? I’M LISTENING.
When the whole family rushed out to see a movie forgetting that other members of our household might enjoy gingerbread. Click the first attachment, please. The little ditty in the movie explains why no pictures of that enterprise exist.
Nice work around the two photo rule, m’lady. Don’t mind if I do!
Ah, the little ditty is a dog. And that dog can sing! And what talented pooch wouldn’t want to eat the Washington Monument? It looks a lot like a giant dog chew.
In 2016 we again sat down to create individual masterpieces of gingerbread art. I crafted the horse carousel and my son did the shark-o-sel. Alas, I stored my creation in the lower cabinet in the kitchen in between work sessions. The present joyous boxer decided that he also liked the taste of gingerbread.
Alright, it took me a some time to get things sorted out, but I’m picking up what you’re puttin’ down now. A second gingerbread entry, a second dog, a second disaster!
With great sadness, I present most likely my best piece of ginger work. I am truly confident this piece would have won all contests had it survived.
Don’t be sad, Tanya! I think this entry still works. It’s a one-dimensional carousel. Easy to view because it lays flat! When carousels are upright and spinning around? Impossible to get a good look at. But spread out? Look at those ponies! The candy saddles are the only sort of saddle I’d be interested in using. The colour scheme is charming! And I’m assuming that’s only half of this entry because you also sent a photo of a second partially consumed and equally delightful sharkousel! So… two dogs, two entries, one confusing email, and a lot of poop.
Welcome, Joyous Family. You’re gunna fit in juuuuust fine around here.
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Sarah L’s Meow Manor
I was very excited to participate for the third time in this delightful contest, and was dreaming up a fun idea for a Gingerbread scene. But right after Thanksgiving our sweet little cat Violet went missing and our world turned upside down while we looked everywhere for her.
Long days went by with no sign and finally I had to start the project in part to console myself and in part to bring to life my wish of a lovely fun place for cats to go when they are lost or out on an adventure.
How? How were you able to focus without Violet?
Here we have MEOW MANOR, a charming cozy cottage on the edge of town with spicy paw pebbles and sugary tropical fish rocks leading up to the entrance. The kitties can frolic all day and night at the duck pond stocked with exotic fish or climb sturdy trees loaded with delectable seafood treats. Nothing is off limits (including the roof) and life is purrfect.
For Violet. The manor was for Violet. I’m getting a pain the place where a heart would normally be.
But poor Violet was still missing!
Oh, Sarah. I can’t. I CAN’T. Violet could be anywhere. Shivering, cold, wishing for spicy paw pebbles and a soft bed. I don’t even want to talk about those adorable sugar ducks or the lickable pathway that leads to the manor. It’s hard to mention the inclusion soft grass without imagining that Violet would want to roll around in it. And look at Violet’s delightful friends! Each with his or her own distinctive qualities. Where are you, Violet? Violet, please come home!
Well, maybe it was my wishful thinking, or some divine intervention brought on by my creation of Meow Manor, but the best news of all is that the day my Mom helped me decorate the gingerbread and my brother and boyfriend provided advice and encouragement, our little cat Violet came home… day eight. She lost a lot of weight and is on triple rations but she will be just fine.
GINGER SAVES THE DAY! Proof that sometimes fishful thinking works.
Aaaaand because this grouping is all about breaking the rules, here’s a third photo from Sarah OF VIOLET! Back home where she belongs. Doesn’t she look excited about Meow Manner? Cats. So emotional.
Would you like to hang out with Sarah and Violet full time? Duh. Of course you would! You can find them here: www.sublimedelights.com
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Cast your vote below! The (one) overall winner of online Ginger polling will win the 2017 People’s Choice Prize! And don’t forget to leave a comment – you could win a prize!
Repeat voters are blocked by cookie and IP address.
Polls close at about 12 pm AST, Thursday, December 21, 2017.