granola {for haddy}
My sister’s birthday is on Thursday – she’ll be turning 40. So, I’ve decided to have four days of Haddy-inspired posts this week. Naturally, I turned to Rosie Beaucoup for assistance.
movita: I want to do four days of Haddy-inspired posts to mark her birthday. I was thinking I’d share some of her favourite childhood recipes.
Rosie Beaucoup: Great idea!
movita: So, can you tell me about the things you used to make for her? The stuff she would have asked for?
Rosie Beaucoup: Okay.
(long pause)
Rosie Beaucoup: Just, uh… just give me a minute.
(another long pause)
movita: I just need a few things that she really, really liked. Maybe a dessert? Maybe the meals she requested on her birthdays?
Rosie Beaucoup: Right. I’m thinking. Uh…
(tapping a finger on her nose)
Rosie Beaucoup: I mean, I’m sure there was something…
(inaudible mumbling)
Rosie Beaucoup: In fairness, she was really quite fussy…
(yet another long pause)
movita: Okay, I think my cats are hungry. Maybe just let me know when you think of something?
Rosie Beaucoup: Just. Give. Me. A SECOND. I know there’s something…
(staring out the window)
Rosie Beaucoup: Okay, I’ve got it. She really liked those little boxes of raisins.
movita:
Rosie Beaucoup: You remember, those little red boxes of…
movita: I know what bloody boxes of raisins are! But I can’t post a recipe for boxed raisins!
Rosie Beaucoup: But she really liked them.
movita: Never-mind. I’ll keep thinking. I’ve gotta get going, okay?
Rosie Beaucoup: WAIT! She also really liked wieners!
movita: Good grief.
Rosie Beaucoup: AND she almost choked to death on one! I remember because your grandfather had just arrived for a visit, and she turned blue…
So, Haddy, here’s a childhood recipe that contains your most favourite treat – raisins – and absolutely no wieners. It’s a take on the granola that Rosie Beaucoup used to make for us when we were kids. But, since we’re getting older, I’ve thrown in some stuff like ground flax seed to keep us alive. I hear flax seed will also help you deal with hot flashes.
This recipe makes a crapload of granola – 16 cups worth – so you could always halve it if you don’t have a big roasting pan and storage container. Also, you can swap out ingredients. Don’t feel like pecans? Leave ‘em out. Hate cranberries? Find something else to shove in there! I hear prunes and dates are good for the elderly. The options are endless, and just a small bowl of this stuff will keep your belly full until your first coffee break. I’m sure you’ll remember that this is not a crunchy granola – it is honeyed and softer than the stuff you buy at the grocery store. That means you can eat it very quietly when you are at work. Let’s face it, crunching in your cubicle isn’t cute at 40.
Oh, and here’s a photo of you enjoying some of your favourite raisins early one Christmas morning:
Keep it classy, k?
. . .
Granola
recipe: adapted from a family gem
Yields 16 cups.
Dry ingredients:
- 6 cups rolled oats (not the quick cooking sort)
- 1 cup wheat germ
- 1 cup bran
- 1 cup ground flax-seed
- 1 cup toasted sesame seeds
- 1 cup golden raisins
- 1 cup unsweetened shredded coconut
- 1 cup hulled, raw, unsalted sunflower seeds
- 1 cup hulled, raw, unsalted pumpkin seeds
- 1 cup dried cranberries
- 1/2 cup slivered almonds
- 1/2 cup chopped pecans
For the granola goo:
- 1 cup honey
- 2 tablespoons milk
- 1/3 cup unsweetened applesauce
- 1/2 cup canola oil
- 1/2 cup butter
- 1 teaspoon sea salt
- 1 1/2 teaspoons cinnamon
Mise en place – begin by getting organized. Measure out all of your ingredients. Ensure that you have a roasting pan/casserole dish that is large enough to hold 16 cups of granola (with room for stirring and turning the ingredients over during baking) and a container large enough to store your granola in.
Pre-heat oven to 300°.
Place the dry ingredients into a large roasting pan, and mix to combine.
To make the granola goo, place the honey, milk, applesauce, canola oil, butter, salt and cinnamon in a small saucepan over medium heat. Heat until the butter has completely melted, the ingredients are well incorporated, and the mixture is hot to the touch.
Pour half of the granola goo over the dry ingredients and mix well. Add the remainder of the goo, and mix well to combine. This incorporation is important – you don’t want dry patches of ingredients. Insure everything gets moistened by the goo.
Bake for 50-60 minutes, stirring every 15 minutes. When stirring, ensure that the ingredients get well rotated in the pan – bring the granola from the bottom up to the top to ensure even baking.
The granola is done when it has turned a golden brown throughout. It will be very hot, and still somewhat moist throughout. Remove from the oven and place the roasting pan on a cooling rack. Because the granola is very hot, there will be carry-over baking – keep stirring the granola frequently as it cools to ensure the heat escapes, and the bottom layer of granola doesn’t overcook. The granola will dry somewhat as it cools, but it is not a crunchy, clumpy granola.
Let the granola cool completely before storing in a tightly lidded container.
Note: My roasting pan is deep and not very long/wide. My ingredients fill it to the top. I need an hour to get my granola cooked up nicely. If you use a shallow baking dish, and your ingredients are spread more thinly, you may need to shorten your bake time.
OMG I’m cracking up. I could imagine myself having that conversation with my mother about my sister. Raisins. LOL in the little box. heh. Happy Birthday Granola! Hope Haddy has a terrific day on Thursday – granola or not.
Also, I really, really hate raisins. BLECK.
Oh this is too great. I think my sister would murder me if I were to post a picture like that on a milestone birthday! But she’s also fucking fussy. The only thing I could ever reliably cook for my sister would be steak which is great, but it doesn’t give for a colourful plate of nutrients (and creates truly disgusting flatulence if eaten if abundance). Happy Birthday Haddy!
I believe you’re referring to Meat Belly.
I’m very familiar with it.
Hopefully your sister understands that references to hot flashes, being elderly and posting pics of her on the toilet helps bring others much joy.
She’s selfless that way.
There really is nothing like a box of raisins on the toilet. This granola sounds great and I’ve been looking for a recipe to make for my mother-in-law (a granola addict), so now I have something to work from 🙂 Does this granola have big clusters in it? She told me she likes the clusters.
This is a cluster-free granola. It’s not that crunchy, clustering sort. (Sadly, for your mother-in-law.)
Apparently, my sister was placed upon that toilet with a box of raisins for entertainment, in order to prevent her from seeing what Santa had left for her under the tree until it was time.
I bet more parents will do the same after reading this post…
I’m not sure the Beaucoups even noticed the seat was up until after the fact…
i don’t even know where to begin with that picture: your toilet matched the bathroom wall!! your sister’s nightgown set like so to preserve her modesty…
this is such a sweet post!
That was a rental house that my parents had just before they bought their first home. Sadly, we can take no credit for it’s awesomeness.
I’ve heard that only the coolest and most groovy people are turning 40 this year, it’s like a thing and stuff. Just what I’ve heard though. Happy Birthday Haddy!
1973 was a fine, fine year…
Haha! I can totally relate to that type of conversation. Also, I want a recipe for boxed raisins – STAT!
Happy birthday to your sister!
It’s going to take a while for that recipe, Willow. I mean, I’ll have to test out the drying method. Figure out which grapes make the best raisins. Grow those grapes. Learn how to produce a cardboard box. You know, that sort of stuff. I’ll get something posted asap…
Thank you for the nice recipe.
You’re welcome, Liz!
The toilet shot- I was laughing so hard, I think I peed a little. Thanks a bunch.
Right? So freakin’ adorable. And also, really funny.
I guess she should be grateful that you didn’t post a weiner-flavoured granola. Though, of course, since the recipe makes 16 cups, that’s kind of a lot of oats to sacrifice for the sake of embarrassing your sister (and really, what did those poor oats ever do to you?).
Toilet shot, on the other hand? PRICELESS. I am simultaneously laughing my ass off and saying prayers of thankfulness that we’re not related. 🙂
Wiener granola would have been TOTALLY worth it. Also, it’s gunna get a lot worse for Haddy as the week goes on…
Hahaha this was the BEST! I don’t think I will have truly lived until someone dedicates something like this to me — complete with toilet picture. Also, please do post a recipe for raisin boxes. I’d read it.
I’m on it… just growing the grapes now…
Must confess I had forgotten just how well the toilet decals (not to mention the plush seat cover) went with the subtle wallpaper and elegant flooring.
And who but McHaddy’s mom would have thought of a matching diaper pail???
Forty years? Seems like yesterday ….
bb.
Readers, this is Bill Beaucoup’s first comment on the blog. I guess his passion for 70’s decor finally got the better of him… Yay!!
Happy Birthday Hadley! We have the same diaper pail… they still sell it.
WHAT?! I can’t believe it. Of course, why WOULD they take such a gorgeous product off the market?
I am rolling over here laughing! After just organizing 20+ years of photos into baggies (thank God for daughters who are helpers), I am in awe of a person who can put their fingers on a photo that so aptly fits a post. If I weren’t so much older than you, I’d want to be you when I grow up, Movita. If Rosie was responsible, I will be her. If that’s okay. Don’t want to overstep my boundaries here. Happy birthday to Haddy on her momentous 4 0. She rocks that nightie.
P.S. Oh, my gawd. The faux stone floor! Too much awesomeness, decor-wise, in one photo.
We had a photo sorting party the other night. Mission: find lots of pictures of Haddy for her birthday week. It’s only gunna get better…
Woo hoo!
I love and hate all of you.
Shhhhhh, Haddy. This has nothing to do with you.
bill beaucoup is right: that’s a wonderfully subtle bathroom you had in the seventies. I’m amazed i can actually FIND haddie in that photo.
The raisins make her easier to spot.
Best. Sister. Ever. Happy birthday Haddy!
Imagine the power Haddy and I have when working TOGETHER.
Can you eat granola with flax in it? Won’t you immediately die from the health benefits? 🙂 HAPPY BDAY HADDY!
Also, that bathroom is amazing. I’m going to show it to Aaron when I get home for inspiration.
At first, my body rejected the flax seed. But then it detected the honey in there, so all is good. Like, so, so good…
Love love the photo of your sis with her box of raisins. I think we all had those little nighties, didn’t we:)
Sometimes I think I should buy one of those nighties. They are just so darned adorable! But then I remember that I really hate sleeping with a copious qualities of cute fabric bunched up around my mother freakin’ neck and stick to regular ol’ pjs.
woa, my day and your sister day are both the same
and it’s going to be tomorrow, then
Bon Anniversaire, 12/9 !
Happy belated!!!
Lmao at least your mum remembered SOMETHING! Mine would have no idea how to answer that question. This is so sweet of you, Movita. Happy belated birthday to your dear sister, Haddy! I’m loving all the life-extending goodies in this granola, not to mention the suggestion of prunes ‘n dates to keep us regular. Ahhh, sweet adulthood.
I refuse to eat dates and prunes. REFUSE. So, I guess I choose death over pooping.
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