Archive for September 2016
birthday
Today we celebrated 2.0’s 45th birthday. He requested lasagna and a chocolate cake topped with boiled frosting to mark the occasion. We lit some candles and sang to our favourite fellow at the top of our lungs. After the smoke had cleared and we’d polished off second helpings, Rosie said, “I’m so glad I got all…
Read Morecoming soon
welcome to the sweatshop
On a recent trip to the grocery store, my entrance was blocked by a group of fit humans promoting their gym. They were wearing expensive sneakers, matching tearaway pants, and jackets adorned with the gym’s logos. The clipboards they were holding made them look very official – like Mr. Harris, my sixth grade gym teacher. Kylie: Hi there!…
Read Morepetite merde no. 2
At the doctor’s office today: Dr. P: (holding her liquid nitrogen blaster) Have you had this procedure done before? movita: Nope. Dr. P: Okay, well… don’t scream. movita: Wait… what? (after the procedure) movita: Any special care instructions? Dr. P: Don’t buy a bathing suit. movita: Obviously. Wait… what? Dr. P: No swimming for a…
Read More