giant balls cake

If a google search has directed you here so you can make a cake shaped like male genitalia, welcome.

This is the cake I made for my niece a few weeks ago. It was her birthday, and I wanted to make our family jewel a very special cake. The Very Special Cake was supposed to look like one of those elegantly frosted watercolour cakes you see on Pinterest. It was supposed to be subtle and sophisticated.

Et voilà!

giant balls cake |

Most of the watercolour cakes I saw online didn’t have giant balls, but I thought they might balance the garish frosting I had slathered on my version. You know, tone it down. I was feeling pretty clever when I pulled those gems from my stash of nut savers. But after adding a pair, the cake looked… less sophisticated? Which is weird because giant balls are almost always considered classy.

Some of you will say: I don’t think the cake looks that bad. And you’re right, I’ve seen worse. But then this happened as we drove along a bumpy, country road:

giant balls cake | movita beaucoup

My balls dropped.

(If a google search of the male reproductive system has directed you here, welcome.)

My niece didn’t complain a bit. She acted like she had never seen such a more glorious tribute to puberty. Other than Justin Bieber, that is.



  1. Lynne from Design The Life You Want To Live on July 16, 2014 at 8:14 am

    Erhmergerddddd you have to watch this one, Movi R :))) it’s d’best – and perfect for some puberty LAUGHS. OMG OMG OMG

    Aunt Flo is visiting
    First moon party

    Love your post girly !!!


    • movita beaucoup on July 16, 2014 at 8:21 am

      Love that video! {It’s a good thing I don’t have kids.}

      I send you smooches back.

  2. thatskinnychickcanbake on July 16, 2014 at 9:20 am

    I love your cake, droopy balls and all! I don’t ever want to think of what comes up when doing an Internet search for giant balls :/

    • movita beaucoup on July 17, 2014 at 8:32 am

      I think it’s best if we don’t ever ask google to look up giant balls for us. In fact, let’s never ever do it.

  3. Chocolate Chilli Mango® on July 16, 2014 at 9:52 am

    The balls have it 😛

  4. Emma | Fork and Good on July 16, 2014 at 11:31 am

    Oh god, never laughed so hard at the phrase “My balls dropped” haha. Love this.

  5. Willow @ Will Cook For Friends on July 16, 2014 at 11:47 am

    What? No recipe? No step-by-step on how to make our own giant balls cake?! (Seriously, though, your attempt at a watercolor cake is a lot like my attempts at actual watercolor. Only way better, and a million times more delicious. If I were your niece, I would love it, dropped balls and all.)

    • movita beaucoup on July 17, 2014 at 8:34 am

      Years ago, my Great Aunt Amy gave me a watercolour set. My artistic skills have not progressed past: dip brush in water, swirl brush in paint. I believe this may be because I can’t draw. Anything. At all. So, when trying to paint a flower, it sometimes looks like a rock. A beautiful, pink rock.

  6. Jenni on July 16, 2014 at 1:23 pm

    Yay balls!

    • movita beaucoup on July 17, 2014 at 8:35 am

      You win. Best two-word comment EVER.

  7. Carol on July 16, 2014 at 1:42 pm

    This sounds just like my neighbor and I talking about “stuff”. I’m going to have to pass it along to her – too hilarious!!

  8. cynthia on July 16, 2014 at 4:07 pm

    Dude. I must be super classy, because I love this cake. Get my face in that purply-pink ombre ball-fiesta NOW.

  9. Aussa Lorens on July 17, 2014 at 12:24 am

    Ahh haha! This made me giggle. I think the cake looks beautiful, I don’t even want to think about what would have happened if I’d tried a similar project. No thanks.

  10. Natashia on July 17, 2014 at 1:01 am

    Hahaha.. fun times. Can always get a bit of food envy and a laugh here 🙂

  11. Maureen | Orgasmic Chef on July 17, 2014 at 4:33 am

    Would the word guffaw be inappropriate right now? I hope the little princess thought it was as funny as I did.

    • movita beaucoup on July 17, 2014 at 8:36 am

      The Ocean Family has a great sense of humour. And my teenaged niece always rolls with the punches! She’s quite funny as well, so she holds up under the relentless torment that 2.0 and I like to administer.

  12. Mama's Gotta Bake on July 18, 2014 at 3:29 am

    What a lovely cake! I know a tween-age girl who would just love it! I also love the name you gave it, I got a good chuckle!!!!

  13. Life, Love and Sugar on July 18, 2014 at 11:17 am

    “My balls dropped” Absolutely brilliant!

  14. Jennie @themessybakerblog on July 18, 2014 at 2:21 pm

    All of a sudden, I’m whistling the tune to AC/DC’s Big Balls. Hmmm, I wonder who put that thought in my head…

  15. natalie @ wee eats on July 22, 2014 at 7:31 pm

    I think that cake is glorious and I would be honored to have at my birthday (which is march 16th, fyi, you know… in case you were wondering).

  16. Nancy @ gottagetbaked on July 23, 2014 at 8:13 pm

    I actually arrived at this post by googling “giant balls” & “cake” together. Imagine my simultaneous feelings of delight and disappointment when this is what google spat out at me 😉 Totally kidding – these are the only kinds of balls I want topping my cake, dropping, drooping, and whatever the heck else giant balls do.

  17. cococakeland on July 24, 2014 at 11:27 pm

    haha!!! i was laughing from the title all the way to the end. damn those dropped balls! i love a good testicles pun. my son, almost 2, told me i had “penis tet-acle balls” the other day. had to correct him… haha! PS i STILL think the cake looks super cute, dropped balls and all!

  18. Choc Chip Uru on August 29, 2014 at 9:50 am

    Haha not going to lie your title attracted me to this post 😛
    GORGEOUS cake, it looks so pretty!!! Need it as a birthday cake one day!!

    Choc Chip Uru

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