ginger 2016: group 1

Behold! The first grouping of Ginger 2016 entries! I like to call this batch: 1 – 2.25 Times the Fun!

Cast your vote at the bottom of the post to help determine the winner of the 2016 People’s Choice Prize. (For more information on how this competition will go down, click here.) Don’t forget: commenting could win you a prize!

. . .

kara and elise’s DON’T EAT THAT!

ginger 2016 // movita beauouup

ginger 2016 // movita beauouup

Kara submitted an essay with her entry. I have included only 1/64th of what she wrote below:

I am entering this sacred ginger event on behalf of my 11-year-old daughter, Elise. Elise is super sweet (just like her gingerbread house!) – not only in personality, but in 90% of the contents of her stomach. If it’s sweet, sugar-filled, or chocolate, she’ll eat it! Sweets are her favorite. Unless there’s bacon. Or steak. 

Elise sounds like my kind of girl. If I were on death row, I’d request a steak followed by a McCain’s Deep ‘n Delicious cake for my last meal.

Elise has Celiac’s Disease – she can’t eat gluten, but certainly not because she thinks it’s au-currant to give up every decent and delicious food ever made. So when we went to make our gingerbread house (from a kit), we figured that if she was going to be able to eat any of the candy OFF of the house, it would have to be clad in gluten-free gingerbread! 

Kara, I’d like to suggest that you buy double the candy next year. Here’s what I’m thinking: half could be used in gingerbread construction, and the other half could be consumed (by Elise) alongside bacon and steak.

So we made gf gingerbread siding. And roofing. From the leftovers of when we made gf gingerbread boys and girls – because my parents bought those really good gingerbread cookies from IKEA, but they’re not gf…so everyone in the house is totally chowing down on these amazing smelling cookies that she can’t eat. So I whipped up some gf dough. So we took the leftover dough and made fake walls to glue over the kit. But was there enough dough? D’oh! So we were only able to clad the roof and two walls. Hint to Elise: Don’t put anything good on the contaminated walls! Your brother and sister will get to eat that!

This is the worst! First off, come on Grammy and Grampy! GLUTEN FREE! And Kara? More dough next time. MORE DOUGH. Because sharing? No. No way. That’s exactly how someone like yours truly would end up on death row eating steak and a Deep ‘n Delicious cake. I WILL NOT SHARE CANDY WITH MY SIBLINGS. Elise? Visit me in prison, okay?

Guys, did you notice Elise’s PayDay chimney? The rock candy smoke? The tootsie roll dog completely with red collar? The elegant landscaping? Golden, Gluten Free Girl. Golden.

. . .

monica & sylvia’s 1 or 2 1/4 tardises (tardii?)

ginger 2016 // movita beaucoup

ginger 2016 // movita beaucoup

Monica wrote – and there’s no editing here:

Well, geez. AST is at least 2 hrs ahead of CST. So I’ll submit fast!

Monica & Sylvia made a TARDIS!!  Sylvia loves Dr. Who, especially the 11th Doctor, so we included mini-figures of the Doctor and Amy Pond.

Monica made two and 1/4 TARDISes (TARDII?). One for Sylvia friend and a new roof and two signs because the kitten (Tawney Kittain) decided to tip over the cookie sheet with pieces.

So… how many Tardises are there? WERE there? And who made it/them? Because at first it sounds like Monica and Sylvia friend made one tardis together. But then it sounds like Monica made 2 1/4 tardisisis by herself, and then a kitten came along and broke some stuff while Sylvia friend did nothing to stop it. What the heck, Monica? WHAT THE HECK, SYLVIA FRIEND?

Now, confusion aside, that is one impressive tardis. Look at the scale! The glittery streetscape! The attention to detail! The hand-piped sign! The lickability factor! Wait… hold up. Let’s go back to scale. I’ve never seen Doctor Who, but a tardis is like an old police box, yes? A phone booth of sorts? So… uh… how are the Doctor and Amy Pond going to reach the phone in that thing? And if they reach the phone, won’t it crush them? Never mind. I love everything about this tardis. All 1 – 2.25 of it/them.

. . .

lisa’s ginger brothel

ginger 2016 // movita beaucoup

ginger 2016 // movita beaucoup

Lisa writes:

About the Ginger: I guess I’ll call this the “Ginger Brothel”. When I said I’d be making another house for Christmas this year (now a tradition for me), friends suggested I make something on the order of a Spirit House, Pagan Stave Church, or gypsy caravan (wtf??) thinking I was some kind of ginger wizard. The only thing wizard about this is that I was able, after MANY failed attempts, to erect the royal icing railing & finials without shattering the pieces with my man-hands. The piped designs are inspired by some of the henna work I’ve done in the past. The blood-red house color I can’t explain, other than I was listening to a 12-part Manson Murder podcast to keep me company while making most of this.

Alright, children. Because Ginger is gingercational, I’d like to tell you what the word brothel means. A brothel is a magical place where people come to engage in special activities with… workers. For legal reasons, establishments sometimes describe themselves as body rub parlours. But because the phrase body rub parlour is widely considered the worst combination of words in the history of words, brothel is the more commonly used term.

Now, let’s talk about that body rub parlour brothel up there. The seductive lighting! The cathedral windows! The decorative fascia! The balcony railing! THE PIPING, MY GOD, THE PIPING!

Side-note, children: when someone asks if you might like to visit a cathouse, don’t be fooled. There are no cats there. Not the kind your mother would want you to pet anyway…

Wanna hang out with Lisa? (She sounds like our kind of gal.) You can find her on Instagram!

. . .

stephbo’s gingers’ bread house

ginger 2016 // movita beaucoup

ginger 2016 // movita beaucoup

Stephbo was one of many Ginger 2016 entrants who submitted an essay along with her entry. I am most appreciative, as Stephanie has basically done all the work for me. She writes:

As the reigning Commenter of the Year on your lovely little blog, I am considered by many to be Movita Beaucoup royalty (and by “many,” I mean “me”). As such, I decided I owed it to my adoring public (all two of them) to compete in this year’s Ginger Competition. So it is with great pleasure that I present to you Stephbo’s Gingers’ Bread House.  

My entry includes two ginger people, myself and the only other ginger worthy of being my true love: everyone’s other favorite royal ginger, Prince Harry.  (Let’s pointedly ignore for a moment the fact that he is half my age, and that I am happily married.) As you can see, in this tableau, Harry and I are pictured heading to our “‘Bread House,” aka “bank” to withdraw funds for our honeymoon.

The shingles and decorative motifs on the front, back, and sides of the house are made from chocolate coins in the American style.  This is because we hastily converted our money into American coins after the debacle of Brexit, secure in the knowledge that Hillary would be the next POTUS.  We realize now that this may have been a grave mistake.

The rest of the decorations are simple. The top of the roof is lined with stale gumdrops. There are peppermints alongside the house as well as on the roof directly above the door. The wreath is a gumdrop circle coated with icing and cheap sprinkles. The pots for the trees are made with some weird red balls that came in the kit, and the walkway to the door is paved with crushed peppermint. The whole thing is liberally held together and covered by, you guessed it, royal icing. 

I realize I technically broke your fascist rules by including photos of me and my beloved, but I don’t care because #rebel. You’ll be happy to know there is no need to punish me for it because I made myself sick from eating all of the 8,000 pounds of leftover icing I had. It was glorious, and I’d do it again. So there.

What the hell can I add to that? This is what Ginger is all about. First off, the use of candy and frosting on that sucker is impeccable. And then there is the perfect merging of all things Ginger! Theme? Check. Rebellious spirit and rule-breaking attitude? Check and check. Knowledge that Prince Harry is finally off the market? Check (and thank god). One of the best essays in Ginger history? CHECK, mofos!

Nicely done, Highness. Nicely done.

. . .

Cast your vote below! The (one) overall winner of online Ginger polling will win the 2016 People’s Choice Prize! And don’t forget to leave a comment – you could win a prize!

Repeat voters are blocked by cookie and IP address.
Polls close at about 12 pm AST, Thursday, December 22, 2016.

You can also cast a vote for your favourite Group 2 entry here.
Group 3 & Group 4 entries will be posted on Wednesday, December 21st.

23 Responses to ginger 2016: group 1

  1. SJM December 20, 2016 at 12:31 pm #

    I’m voting DON’T EAT THAT!! A girl after my own sugar-laden-stomache heart. Although, honourable mention to Queen of Comments!

    • movita beaucoup December 20, 2016 at 12:33 pm #

      I feel like Elise would be a great party guest, because she’d never judge you for eating ALL the cookies.

      • SJM December 20, 2016 at 12:37 pm #

        Right?! Everyone needs a friend like that!

  2. Monica December 20, 2016 at 12:46 pm #

    I feel so cool to finally have an entry in the Ginger competition. Just needed to get a little timey-wimey wibbly-wobbly. And it was good fun to make the TARDIS with my daughter.

    • movita beaucoup December 20, 2016 at 12:48 pm #

      AHHHHH! This begins to answer some questions. Sylvia is your daughter! Welcome, Monica, Sylvia and kitten! We’ve been waiting for you…

  3. Stephbo December 20, 2016 at 12:51 pm #

    “One of the best essays in Ginger history? CHECK, mofos!”

    Aw, shucks. ???? You shall be our Royal Baker and Jester , my friend. And Cat Herder. Definitely going to need one of those.

    The other entries are fantastic!! The rock candy smoke on the first house? Genius. The ginormous TARDIS? Who doesn’t love something completely covered in icing and featuring 11 and Amy? And that brothel….AMAZING!! I am envious of the talent it took to make it. Even if it doesn’t have cats.

    • movita beaucoup December 21, 2016 at 3:12 pm #

      I think cats make everything better, but respect the choice others have made not to include them. I don’t understand it, but…

  4. Melissa December 20, 2016 at 12:58 pm #

    Just LOVE seeing each season’s creations and reading these entertaining narratives! This is the ONE time of year when I get affirmation that I’m in VERY good company with other like-minded gingerbread “artists” (and that I am clearly NOT the only crazy (?) person who ever stood in an aisle at the grocery store contemplating the structural integrity and decorative potential of everyday food products…and the empty calorie ones, too – ha, ha!).

    • movita beaucoup December 21, 2016 at 3:13 pm #

      You are describing my EVERY DAY.

  5. WillCookForFriends December 20, 2016 at 1:01 pm #

    You really need to have two polls — one for the gingerbread houses, and one for the essays. I mean, it’s hard not to love someone who breaks your fascist ginger rules. 🙂

  6. Tina W December 20, 2016 at 1:44 pm #

    I always love the stories that go along with the creations – great job, everyone!

  7. Lynne December 20, 2016 at 2:11 pm #

    Did no one notice that Stephbo invested at least $4.25 USD in her creation. That’s $4.25 SHE CAN’T EAT!!! I call that a great sacrifice for the ginger…

    On the other hand, maybe she’s making sure that no matter what the temptation, she won’t set foot across the pond.

    Come to think of it, Steph (I can call you Steph, can’t I?), could I crash on hour sofa for a little while?
    I’m thinking four years…

    • Stephbo December 21, 2016 at 10:13 pm #

      Lynne, you are more than welcome to crash on my sofa for four years. It’ll probably be a little crowded with everyone else I knew seeking refuge, but that just makes it all the more fun!

  8. Kitty December 20, 2016 at 2:45 pm #

    LOVE these – so awesome! I want to live in Lisa’s Ginger Brothel – that is some BIG magic there!!! Stunning.

  9. Cindy Walton December 20, 2016 at 7:00 pm #

    Okay, I can’t even begin to compete in the comments section, but I’m voting for the brothel because I am in serious frosting envy of her piping!

    • movita beaucoup December 21, 2016 at 3:13 pm #

      RIGHT? I can’t imagine the steady hand that required!

  10. jacquie December 20, 2016 at 9:00 pm #

    the ginger contest is what makes this the best time of year – not that it is really the best – but that the ginger contest is a bit of brightness in an otherwise dark and lonely time of year.

    oh, oh decisions, decisions…. the piping on the brothel and hey even think to do a brothel, the excellent essay Steph and kudos for eating all that frosting, the originality of the tradies for Dr Who in the age of cell phones or shout out for fellow GF person – we get left out of a lot even by grandparents – whose payday chimney and rock candy smoke rock. how to decide ……

  11. Renee December 20, 2016 at 10:44 pm #

    I look forward to this contest every December! I laughed so hard, I almost choked on some caramel popcorn I was eating while reading. All good. Still alive! Can’t wait to read more!

    • movita beaucoup December 21, 2016 at 3:14 pm #

      I’m super glad we didn’t kill you.

      (Not that we won’t keep trying.)

  12. Ruth Anne Henault December 21, 2016 at 12:23 pm #

    Admire the steady hand on the brothel swirls and the wee lightning rods of course!

  13. shannon December 21, 2016 at 12:49 pm #

    two words: GINGER BROTHEL.

  14. Barb December 21, 2016 at 6:01 pm #

    Great entries! Love the piping and colors on the brothel!

  15. iiio December 21, 2016 at 7:21 pm #

    Why has the Tardis been photographed in a bathroom?…x

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