chocolate cheesecake muffins {crap no. 6}
. . .
Don’t worry. There aren’t any graham crackers in these muffins.
Also, I’ve got some more crap I’ve been meaning to tell you about.
A couple of weeks ago, 2.0 and I went shopping. He had a real spring in his step as he threw fuzzy slippers, a soft turtleneck, and new underwear into a cart for me. On the way home, he suggested we stop and buy some chrysanthemums. That’s when I started to worry that I wouldn’t actually be going home. That’s when I started to worry that 2.0 was, in fact, planning to drop me off at a nursing home.
I know some of you are sad that I’m not hosting Pumpkin Carve-Off 2013. But I’ve got some major projects on the go, so I’m gunna ask you to forgive me. We’ll be back on for 2014, so consider using this year’s pumpkin to hone your skillz. That said, I sure would like it if you’d send me your pumpkin photos so I can post ’em on my facebook page. Alternatively, you could send me photos of your pumpkins as they rot. Whatever.
I hope you’ve started planning your Ginger 2013 entry. I HAVE. I’m determined to earn the votes of at least two of my family members this year.
I have an MRI scheduled at the children’s hospital in a few weeks. When a receptionist called with the appointment time, I was all: like, at a hospital for children? And she was all: yup. Don’t step on anyone.
Speaking of children, and I can’t believe I haven’t mentioned this before now: THE ENTIRE BEAUCOUP FAMILY WILL BE REUNITED THIS CHRISTMAS. That includes my brother (even though y’all claim he doesn’t exist), his mermaid-partner Isa, and wee Pumpkin and Turnip. AND Haddy will be staying at my house! 2.0 has some special stuff planned for her. Most of it involves the discussion of and/or enjoyment of bodily functions.
FYI, Haddy is creeped out by cats, so I’ve been sending her lots of youtube videos like this one to scare her before she sleeps in the guest room with effie, ebony and niles.
The Beaucoups will, in all likelihood, be eating these muffins over the holidays. Rosie’s been making them for years, and says they are Haddy’s favourite. Of course, Rosie also thinks Haddy likes fudge and baby corn. (She does not.)
The Beaucoups aren’t afraid to eat dessert for breakfast – you shouldn’t be either. Throw away those birdseed muffins you’ve been choking down, and bite into one of these. Soft and chocolatey, sweet and comforting. Also, they’ve got a tasty cream cheese filling. ‘Nuff said.
. . .
Chocolate Cheesecake Muffins
recipe: adapted from a family recipe, with adjustments to the notes and method
Yields about 12 muffins.
For the filling:
- 4 ounces cream cheese, room temperature
- 1/4 cup granulated sugar
For the muffin batter:
- 1 cup all-purpose flour
- 1/2 cup granulated sugar
- 3 tablespoons cocoa
- 2 teaspoons baking powder
- 1/2 teaspoon salt
- 1 egg, room temperature, lightly beaten
- 3/4 cup milk, room temperature
- 1/3 cup canola oil
Mise en place – begin by getting organized. Measure out all of your ingredients.
Preheat oven to 375°F. Grease or line the wells of your muffin tin.
Begin by making the filling. Beat the cream cheese and sugar with a hand mixer until light and fluffy. (You could also use a stand mixer or beat by hand.) Set aside.
In a medium sized bowl, whisk together the flour, sugar, cocoa, baking powder and salt.
In a separate bowl whisk together the beaten egg, canola oil and milk.
Stir the wet ingredients into dry ingredients, mixing until just combined. The batter will be loose.
Spoon the batter into prepared muffin wells, filling each about halfway (1.5 – 2 tbsp. per well). Add a dollop of filling to the centre of each muffin (about 1 tsp. per muffin). Top with remaining muffin batter.
Bake for about 17-20 minutes, rotating the pan after 10 minutes. Muffins are done when they are slightly firmed and golden, and a toothpick inserted into an area without cream cheese filling comes out clean. Remove from oven and cool on wire rack.
Oo, these look good. I think chocolate cake is boring, but chocolate muffins WITH cheesecake-y goodness in the middle sound soooo tempting. (And infinitely better than choking down birdseed muffins, of course– really, why turn to muffins if you wanted to eat something healthy?!)
Don’t even get me started on Morning Glory Muffins.
Morning Glory my butt…
You are obviously trying to kill me. Thanks.
You’re welcome! See you on the other side! (There’s lots of chocolate there…)
The Beaucoups know how to party, it cannot be denied.
Also, Monkey Kitten is awesome. Sorry Haddy. The internet is a cruel place for those who don’t like cats.
Haddy doesn’t like the “startle factor” that cats employ. She’s always worried they’ll attack her when she least expects it. I’ve told her that 2 out of our 3 cats would never do that…
I hope you didn’t tell her which ones
I guess the fact that you are an awesome sister 99.99% of the time lets you off the hook for this…
Chocolate muffins filled with cheesecake are some of my favorite nibbles ever. As Ms Jenni said … you are killing me!
I do my best, Denise. I do my best…
I want to be an honourary Beaucoup! Can I crash the Christmas festivities this year, throw cats at Haddy and eat basketfuls of these muffins? It’ll be glorious!
It WOULD be glorious! Of course you can crash – we’ll just dress you in a set of floofy pyjamas, and you’ll fit right it…
ooooh! These may make up for the chocolate chip cookie recipe tease. They look like they will be our family favorite too! Thanks!
Yay! Basically, I’ll probably have to spend the next YEAR trying to make that recipe up to people…
Darling, you mustn’t make chocolate muffins and then say you have CRAP to talk about.. .. so how IS the nursing home?
It’s awesome! Chocolate muffins and crap go hand in hand there! And there’s movie night!
You know, I was just suggesting to my husband that I make chocolate muffins with cheese. He said I was nuts and I should just make bread. I must show him your post…. 🙂
Feel free to use me to resolve any disputes you might have with your hubby!
These look great. If 2.0 steers near the home, just tuck and roll when he slows down. (MRI in a “few weeks”? Sincerely, I hope it’s nothing serious. I’m such a hypochondriac I’d be freaked to wait that long).
Don’t worry, I’m fine! My face started going kinda numb in August, and the neurologist wants to check things out. He doesn’t seem worried in the least – apparently these things happen all the time, and I don’t seem to have the symptoms of anything serious. It’s a just-to-be-safe thing! I figure it’s just my super smart brain getting to big for my head…
Did your nurse’s aid help you type this up, sweetie? Aww.
I hope your face started going numb just from your laziness, rather than anything more serious. Good luck at the children’s hospital… I used to have to go to a children’s hospital back when I had a scoliosis brace, and damn, did I ever feel lucky to be healthy whenever I had to spend time there. It reduced me to tears nearly every time… so much misfortune in the world, so much unfairness, but also so much perseverance and determination.
I think the numbness is, indeed, due to laziness. Basically, my entire body has gone to sleep.
I forgive you – besides, we don’t carve pumpkins… However, these muffins look great. I’m sure I’ve done something similar somewhere. They worked well too 😀
Great recipe. I am going to have to try this one. Don’t step on anyone…thats great. I like the idea of the decomposing pumpkins they are always more interesting but the critters get to them quickly here in Boulder.
These muffins look glorious and YAY THE WHOLE FAMILY BACK TOGETHER! I, for one, CAN’T WAIT to see (and feel inferior to) your beautiful table spread over the holidays!! And maybe I should make these muffins too, and it will make the future hubby’s family like me more… definitely better than if I had made birdseed muffins, at least…
“future hubby” !!!!!! 🙂
Oh man, I don’t think gingerbread houses are my forte…especially compared to the crazy amazing ones your readers come up with. I might just have to wait for next year’s Carve-Off. I hope the MRI isn’t for anything serious…
These muffins look amazing- chocolate cheesecake is my favorite muffin flavor!!! I can see why Haddy loves them.
AMY, make a gingerbread house.
That is all.
These look just stunning, and they sound beyond delicious. The tops of those chocolate muffins just look perfect. I also love the backdrop, by the way!
I would totally eat these for breakfast – with a side of bacon of course!
Awwww, yah! BACON!!
about time I bake a decadent muffin… thanks
Oh my goodness…just found your blog through Jaxie of I Am A Feeder, and I’m in love. You are witty and you make delicious things. What else could I ask for? Thank you for sharing!
Well, thanks for stopping by and leaving such a nice comment!
My dear Movita… how have I not passed through here in so long. Your recipes and wit leave me fulfilled! cheers ma dear xx
Cheers back at cha, lady!!
If T-Hubs ever has a spring in his step whilst tossing fluffy things into a shopping cart / requesting that we go buy flowers, I am going to be seriously skeptical of his motives. That is not normal behavior.
Also, I imagine an entire room full of Beaucoups would be both dangerous and highly entertaining. Especially if everyone is hyped up on a sugary (err, I mean, delicious and well balanced) breakfast. 😉
This year’s Beaucoup holiday will be epic. And also, loud.
I did not expect that cream cheese center! I have much too much yet to learn (and eat). I have a feeling your family is in on a lot of delicious secrets. And I’m a bit like Haddy when it comes to cats (sorry if I’m making it sound as though I know her). I’ve been afraid to tell Amy…I hope she doesn’t read this.
MONICA!!! (hehe, jk)
Oh snap – Busted!! Amy, it is not by choice, I assure you. I hope we can still be friends. : )
This exchange made me very happy. (Even though Monica is weird and doesn’t like cats.)
I won’t have a pic of a pumpkin. Can’t I just send you pics of my cats and you can use them to scare your sister?
YEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSS!
At least 2.0 buys you underwear. The only person who buys me underwear is my mom, and it’s always granny-style and several sizes larger than I think I need. I always tell her that. I’m like, mom, this underwear are going to be waaaaaay too big for me.” And then I try them on and, unfortunately, they fit perfectly. Every damn time.
okay, carol anne is correct: the internets are a cruel place for those who are creeped out by cats. who knew dear Haddy thought they were creepy? well, i suppose you did.
listen: the comments. i got distracted by them, and i don’t know how, because these are beautiful muffins. muffins with a cheesecake HEART. I feel bad, because i can’t believe that stunning muffins like that could take a backseat to emma talking about her scoliosis brace. just saying. i mean, okay: emma talking about that is pretty hardcore awesome. i retract what i said.
i still really, really hope that you send me a photo of the beaucoup get-together.
Comments on this post are now closed as it was published in October 2013. Thanks for stopping by!