Posts by movita beaucoup
poop on deck: a captain’s log
ALL IS WELL. UNTIL IT ISN’T. 6:50 pm: Ten steps from the restaurant I feel a violent shift in my gut. The thirteen-block walk to my car seems manageable despite the uneasiness growing in my pelvic region, so I begin my trek. 6:51 pm: With each step comes more discomfort; a beastly churning rises…
Read Morepetite merde no. 4: identity crisis
A former student – now colleague and pal – has been a constant source of hilarity and forehead slapping for many years. I like to take credit for her good looks and brilliant sense of humour. I take absolutely no credit for her abilities as an eye witness and/or trust in humanity. A Facebook Messenger…
Read Moregood for you
A few days ago, 2.0 announced that we were to start dieting. Twenty-seven of you thought it was a brilliant idea, and my mother sent me an email about eating vegetables. Sometimes I watch people frolicking in the out-of-doors from my kitchen window as I eat cookies over the kitchen sink. Some of those people are running.…
Read Moredouble-dealing
A few years ago, 2.0 and I went out to by a vacuum cleaner and bought a car instead. 2.0 likes to tell stories. I call them stories, because calling him a liar makes me sound mean. One of 2.0’s favourite stories involves saying that he’s going out to run errands, and also: to buy…
Read Morecrap no. 36
I know I haven’t been around here much lately, but I’ve been super busy trying to earn the respect of a local school-yard gang, so… it’s been a lot of late nights. A couple living in the basement apartment across the street from us spends a good portion of their days and evenings chain smoking…
Read Moreballet bingo
I made you something. It’s a little game to augment your experience the next time you attend a ballet performance. It could also be useful when you’re forced to sit through one of those four-hour dance recitals that your kid is in. (God help us all.) Click here to download your Ballet Bingo sheet.
Read Morematchmaker, matchmaker
Several years ago, 2.0 presented me with a golf club and claimed it was an anniversary gift. It was not. (I don’t golf.) My sister, Haddy, was visiting at the time, and told him it was the most thoughtful anniversary gift she’d ever seen. It was not. (She just likes to side with 2.0.) So,…
Read Morecrème de la crap
Are you tired of hearing bloggers complain about the constant changes to Facebook? If I wanted to hear whining all the time I’d work in customer service for an airline. I’m all for the changes Facebook is making. First off, and I’m talking to you bloggers, no one gives a shit about your reach. LITERALLY…
Read Morecrap no. 35
Twice over the holidays 2.0 called me Richard. RICHARD. On the plus side, 2.0’s Uncle John sometimes refers to him as H20, and I like to think I had a little something to do with that. Someone asked me about Murder Couple the other day, and I’m sad to say I haven’t seen them since…
Read Moreeffie movita
Yesterday we bid farewell to our dear Effie. She was my constant and loyal companion for over 15 years. Gentle, kind and sophisticated – that was our Effie. This past year was filled with much love. I told Effie the story of her adoption over and over again as I rubbed her ears. She ate only her…
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