crap i’ve been meaning to tell you about
TAKE A CRAP BATH
crap no. 50
I survived yet another teaching year without being recruited into a youth gang. I consider this a major win. I mentioned this on Facebook, but because I assume my typical reader is 87 years old and thinks The Facebooks is trying to steal their retirement savings, I thought I’d put a recommendation here. (My site…
Read Morecrap no. 49
This is basically an all-things-birthday edition of Crap, so get ready to celebrate the delight that is me in a big way. Last week I turned 47. Sharing a birthday with the anniversary of the 1946 prison riot at Alcatraz is tough, so to make up for the downside of a holiday birth date I…
Read Morecrap no. 48
I bought a pair of adorable pink Keds in March which I haven’t been able to wear because it has been rainsnowing for 37 days straight. On the plus side, most warm-weather sports haven’t kicked off in our neighbourhood. I mean, is there anything more nightmarish than a ball being punted, thrown or propelled near…
Read Morecrap no. 47
Since losing Niles, we’ve been slathering Dorey with extra attention. She has been feeling a little low these days, so I told 2.0 to say something supportive and reassuring to her. He walked to her, cupped her face in his hands and gently said, “You have a lot of fur.” Dorey looked at me as…
Read Morecrap no. 46
Woah. It’s been a while. I’ve been profoundly busy making plans for 2019. I haven’t actually been DOING anything. Just making plans. This is partly because I’ve been making great strides in my injury recovery and don’t spend my days praying for the sweet release of death anymore. It has freed up a considerable amount…
Read Morecrap no. 45
‘Tis the season for festive gatherings, eating candy for breakfast, telling people everything I know about the Golden State Killer over eggnog, and going blind as I write about Ginger entries for a week straight. I survived NaNoWriMo! Over 50,000 words of a first draft written, most of them utter crap. If I had to…
Read Morecrap no. 44
Greetings from my bed of fire. For three weeks I’ve been struggling with an injury to my left ass and leg. Know what I miss? Standing and walking. Who knew? I always imagined that being confined to my house would be a dream come true. Nope. Because this is the worst pain I have ever…
Read Morecrap no. 43
Note: this edition of Crap has been generously sponsored by CAPS LOCK. Bless me Internet, for I have sinned. It has been many weeks since my last blog post. I am sorry for sometimes re-watching episodes of Brooklyn Nine-Nine instead of writing. I firmly resolve to amend my life. Thanks be to Google. Things have…
Read Morecrap no. 42
Book writing update: I wroted about 50 words. That’s between two book ideas, so 25 words for each practically-finished book. I haven’t been writing much of anything on this blog because — OBVIOUSLY — I’ve been busy writing books. Still, some of you get impatient when I haven’t posted here for a while. I’m beginning to…
Read Morecrap no. 41
Halifax is caught up in a humidity vortex and MY GOD IT’S LIKE HAVING YOUR FACE STUCK IN AN ARMPIT 24/7. I’m sticky, wet, and my house smells like a medieval mortuary. My parents, Bill and Rosie Beaucoup, have been married for about 95 years. When you’ve been a pair for that long your names…
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