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murder couple

crap no. 35

crap i've been meaning to tell you about // movita beaucoup

Twice over the holidays 2.0 called me Richard. RICHARD. On the plus side, 2.0’s Uncle John sometimes refers to him as H20, and I like to think I had a little something to do with that. Someone asked me about Murder Couple the other day, and I’m sad to say I haven’t seen them since…

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crap no. 33

crap i've been meaning to tell you about // movita beaucoup

I had big plans for this summer which included blogging, writing a volume of Ballet Explained, a collection of autofictional essays and a bestselling children’s book, becoming a skilled dance photographer, and purging our entire house. I have achieved 2.5% of this. (Okay, 1.5%.) I believe my lack of productivity has something to do with…

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crap no. 32

crap i've been meaning to tell you about // movita beaucoup

My summer of funemployment is underway! I know what you’re thinking: please don’t ever use the word funemployment again. I can’t make any promises. I know I said I’d be around here a lot more, but I’ve been super busy. I reorganized my craft room, bought a new scratching post for the cats, and… well…

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crap no. 31

crap i've been meaning to tell you about // movita beaucoup

I’ve been a bit MIA lately because I have a neck injury that is making it difficult to sit at the computer and live and stuff. I know what you’re thinking: didn’t I delete this blog from my reading list three months ago? YOU DIDN’T. I fell at work the other day. (That’s not how I hurt my neck; only my self-esteem…

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crap no. 30

crap i've been meaning to tell you about // movita beaucoup

Murder Couple is MIA. I have noticed an unmarked white van driving around the neighbourhood, but can’t see the driver well enough to know if it’s one of them. Fingers crossed! Speaking of horrible couples, I made a birthday cake for Mr. Rutherford on the weekend. I was feeling pretty bad about making a cake for…

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crap no. 28

crap i've been meaning to tell you about // movita beaucoup

Did you think I stopped blogging again? Nope! No such luck! Guys, I think something happened to Murder Couple. I rarely see them together, if at all. And sure, this is good news for anyone they planned to murder, but it’s kinda sad too. Can’t couples make it through the tough times anymore? There was…

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crap no. 26

crap i've been meaning to tell you about // movita beaucoup

Murder Couple has made up. The other night as they walked past my house, lady killer was fondling her man’s… giblets. My sister agrees that only a couple of serial killers would think it was appropriate to grope someone’s meat and potatoes in public. (2.0 remains unconvinced.) Speaking of murder, the other night when I was watching Forensic Files,…

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crap no. 25

crap i've been meaning to tell you about // movita beaucoup

Murder Couple had a fight last week. I’m not sure what happened, but I was out watering some plants when they came walking by. Lady killer was striding about 10 feet in front of her limping male counterpart, and looked like she had some plans for his eyeballs and a decorative jar. (Are they suffering from the…

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crap no. 24

crap i've been meaning to tell you about // movita beaucoup

Summer blogging update: I haven’t been doing it. But given that the internet is bursting with gems like 8 Ways to Write on a Balloon, I’d say you’ve got enough to keep yourself busy. Kitty update: both of our cats are still alive and eating! Effie celebrated her 14th birthday on Friday. Back in June, I couldn’t imagine that…

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